I need an intervention

[redredwine]

May 28, 2015 16:45:03 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

May 28, 2015 16:42:33 GMT -5 mp said:

Back when I dated starbucks guy - i totally showed up at his work place when he didn't respond to me. Now THAT was crazy.

LOL.

Ha! At least you can play that off casually. Funny story. So just now I googled his name, juuuuuust in case he had been in the news. He has a fairly common name, but you never know! Anyways so as I start typing in his name the first google suggest is "his name coma." I was like WHAT?? then realize totally different person from 2012. 

I would have totally done the same thing. 

SO.WEIRD. 
Or maybe he's one of those guys who completely shuts down when life gets tough and closes everyone out and you don't' want that in your life because that's not how one should act when life gets tough so he's doing your a favor and your so much better than that. 

Phew. Longest run on sentence ever, but again, just trying to find some way to make sense of it. 

[Deleted]

redredwine I totally agree. I mean even if he surfaces I'm not interested in someone with this behavior. Unless of course he is actually in the hospital or something very serious happened. Which I'm pretty sure is not the case.
I have a few very well meaning friends who keep being like "but but what if xyz or he may just need some time or or or" I'm like bottom line if you care about someone you respond. Plain and simple. The why he can't be bothered to respond is irrelevant.

[redredwine]

@pdx18 - I 100% agree with that.

[Deleted]

turdferguson if he did reach out I'm not sure I'd be all that open because he's likely not going to change his ways which means we'd be back to this again. I might hear him out and could maybe change my mind on that but at this point it seems doubtful. Also I think there is like a 1 percent chance of that happening. I'm pretty sure he's just over it.

[cuddlyevil]

Have you called him?

I think after exclusivity has been established a "you ok? I am worried" call is totally ok.

[Deleted]

May 28, 2015 19:07:46 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

Have you called him?

I think after exclusivity has been established a "you ok? I am worried" call is totally ok.

I've texted him something similar. At this point another outreach borders on desperate to me. I can see the texts are going through.

[winecat]

Damn it. I'm so annoyed for you!

[cuddlyevil]

Meh, I would give him a call. Exactly one before calling it. One call doesn't reek of desperation. If you were texting every five minutes then called, that's desperate. Texting a few times over 36 -48 hours with one phone call is reasonable.

[Deleted]

I agree that I'd call
But I'm really sorry, I was so happy to hear you met someone you liked. I can't imagine being ghosted after a couple of months. That's just crazy

[Deleted]

I wouldn't reach out again. Sounds like he's in his cave thinking things through.

Some good comments here IMO:

www.datehookup.com/Thread-302966.htm

[Deleted]

@blushnbashful that's interesting. Today is day three so we shall see. I'm totally fine with giving him space. I hope if that's the case I haven't been a nag and made it worse for him

[pandora]

I'm sorry, @pdx. I wouldn't bother with calling or contacting again. I have worked 80+ hour crazy stressful months at a time and still found time to quickly respond even if it's "crazy busy but will call on XX day" in the very least. You did nothing wrong and he's missing out on a fabulous person!

[Deleted]

jenny1980 I would agree but if I call I know he just won't answer. I've always known previous men I've dated had asshoke tendencies. (See above post for more details) But honestly this guy had NONE of them. I'm a little baffled. I guess technically I didn't call him my boyfriend but we were exclusive. I'm just not sure what calling would do. He won't answer if he can't respond to a text.

[Deleted]

Okay I called him! He didn't answer, is everyone happy now? Hahah. I've been dumped. It's okay because I'm pretty drink thanks to @thejen26 and redredwine

[Deleted]

Did you leave a message? I mean clearly he'll know you called anyway but just curious and if so what did you say (and tone)?!

Oh man dating sucks. I was started to get excited but now I'm dreading it.

Hugs. I hope to see a happy update later today!

[starburst604]

What an asshole. Seriously, it's just mean. Why so hard to just say hey this isn't working for me? I hate him.

[Deleted]

May 29, 2015 5:41:25 GMT -5 @blushnbashful said:

Did you leave a message? I mean clearly he'll know you called anyway but just curious and if so what did you say (and tone)?!

Oh man dating sucks. I was started to get excited but now I'm dreading it.

Hugs. I hope to see a happy update later today!

Naaa no message. I didn't really want to call but my girlfriends were like just do it he might answer! I was like girls he's not going to. It is mean but I had yesterday to process it. I've accepted its over and I won't hear from him. I'm really sad but the closure is there for me.

[winecat]

I know there is no logical explanation as to why people do this. (I was going to say "guys" because I don't know of women who have pulled this asshattery on a relationship but I'm sure someone would have an example.) I'm sorry he's being a rude ass.

[Deleted]

I'm sorry @pdx18. I'm really angry and disappointed that this went this way. You don't deserve to be treated like that.

[Deleted]

Leave a message!!!

Just kidding. Fuck him.