I need an intervention

[Deleted]

I've watched approximately 10 episodes of Inside Amy Schumer tonight. I'm obsessed. Also no word from the guy I (was I think) dating. This soothes the sting.

[Deleted]

mp we last chatted on Monday and it was totally normal. I've sent two texts since, neither of which has been responded to. We haven't gone this long since we met without communicating and usually banter a bit back and forth each day. He's always been decently responsive (within hours) and the one other time he wasn't, he was quick to respond to my everything okay with you text (this was when work had gotten crazy stressful for him). We'll see but the likelihood of this being anything other than a ghosting or fade away seems slim.

[Deleted]

Sorry @pdx18, I'm hoping there's some legitimate explanation.

[glitzyglow]

Sorry @pdx18.

[winecat]

I'm sorry @pdx18.

[quietmind]

I'm sorry @pdx18. I hope there's another explanation.

[calle28]

I know you said you guys haven't ever talked on the phone, but can you call him? That way the waiting game is over.

[Deleted]

calle28 nah. I mean if he can't respond to a text I'm sure he won't pick up the phone. I'm not sure it would accomplish anything. It's been more than 48 hours since I've heard from him. I've accepted its done. (I mean I guess he could be in the hospital or something, but we all know that's pretty unlikely) I'm actually feeling much better this morning. The limbo stage is the worst.
I think I'll take another big dating break again. Last time it was almost a year. I jumped in again this time and got the same results. Ghosting. I really thought this guy was different and we had potential. I'm just sad and emotionally exhausted after five years of this.

[calle28]

I'm sorry. Emotionally exhausting is the perfect way to describe what dating can feel like sometimes.

So many hugs.

[riverpestie]

HUGS!

[Deleted]

Thanks ladies! Im just so sad. I thought he was different. Until this he was just so wonderful. I never would have thought he would do this. I mean our last convo was about new camping gear we should be on the lookout for that we could use this summer.

[bg]

I'm sorry. He's lame.

ETA: And you're awesome!

[bl]

@pdx I am so sorry lots of hugs. I just don't understand how some people can be so inconsiderate to others feelings.

[jigsy]

That is so crazy to me. Weren't you just saying that he shuts down when he is stressed/busy? Maybe that is going on. It's still not acceptable, but it's not being ghosted.

On the Amy Schumer note...I don't get it. I mean, some of her bits are funny, but I just don't think she is the rah-rah funny feminist women make her out to be. I think I have just been turned off of her since I drove past her billboard advertising the show everyday and I had, I don't know, weirdness about it.

[Deleted]

jigsy he does, but this is ridiculous. Before I sent a message and was like hey just need to know everything is okay and he responded right away. This time he didn't. It's a pretty clear message.

As far as Amy Schumer she just makes me laugh. Here comedy can be totally offensive and uncomfortable, but that's sort of how I like my comedy. Now I have to know what the billboard said!

[jigsy]

It said nothing crazy, lol



I just don't love that she often uses feminist issues in her comedy, but then perpetuates the problem with showing a bunch of skinny, un-cellulited, ass and thighs.

Maybe it is completely irrational. I don't care.

And I love irreverent comedy! Maybe I am sexist because it's different coming from a woman. *deep thoughts*

Though I do still like Whitney Cummings and Sarah Silverman...so probably not.

[Deleted]

jigsy. I see what you're saying about the billboard. I'm not sure I would have read that into the billboard, but I see where you're coming from. I think Schumer presents her sexuality and plays into more "girly" stereotypes. I can actually relate to her much more than Whitney Cummings and Sarah Silverman. While I appreciate their humor I don't quite identify with them as much if that makes sense.

[riverpestie]

May 28, 2015 11:17:15 GMT -5 jigsy said:

That is so crazy to me. Weren't you just saying that he shuts down when he is stressed/busy? Maybe that is going on. It's still not acceptable, but it's not being ghosted.

On the Amy Schumer note...I don't get it. I mean, some of her bits are funny, but I just don't think she is the rah-rah funny feminist women make her out to be. I think I have just been turned off of her since I drove past her billboard advertising the show everyday and I had, I don't know, weirdness about it.

Yeah, I am not into her either. My FI thinks she is hilarious. I don't get it. 

[redredwine]

Ugh, still no word?! WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

And I'm TEAM AMY!!! She's fucking hilarous. I'm not really into Sarah Silverman.
I mean, come on and tell me this doesn't make you life. If it doesn't, you're not HUMAN
rare.us/story/the-unbelievably-hilarious-amy-schumer-had-ellen-crying-she-was-laughing-so-hard/

[MyName]

May 28, 2015 12:23:57 GMT -5 redredwine said:

And I'm TEAM AMY!!! She's fucking hilarous. I'm not really into Sarah Silverman.
I mean, come on and tell me this doesn't make you life. If it doesn't, you're not HUMAN
rare.us/story/the-unbelievably-hilarious-amy-schumer-had-ellen-crying-she-was-laughing-so-hard/

I could not agree more! 

Sorry this guy is being an inconsiderate dick, pdx.

[Deleted]

redredwine OMG YES! This is what really made me fall in love with her. I think the fact that she doesn't have the traditional hollywood body type, and while I think she's cute and attractive, she's an average looking person. I can believe what she says when she's talking about body issues and dating and eating. Comedy is so subjective!

[redredwine]

May 28, 2015 12:47:20 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

redredwine OMG YES! This is what really made me fall in love with her. I think the fact that she doesn't have the traditional hollywood body type, and while I think she's cute and attractive, she's an average looking person. I can believe what she says when she's talking about body issues and dating and eating. Comedy is so subjective!

I totally agree. I also love her "one up-per" type sketches she's done in a few of her episodes...they're SPOT ON .

ETA: Have you seen Broad City yet? I think you'd love it. 

[LoveBug]

That's so shitty of him. I don't get ghosting at all. It's gotta be a little emotionally stressful on the person who does the ghosting, so why not just call it all out.

I hope there is a legitimate reason here or that you at least get some closure.

[Deleted]

May 28, 2015 12:56:56 GMT -5 LoveBug said:

That's so shitty of him. I don't get ghosting at all. It's gotta be a little emotionally stressful on the person who does the ghosting, so why not just call it all out.

I hope there is a legitimate reason here or that you at least get some closure.

Thanks LoveBug. I don't really need the closer at this point. I've closed it off in my head. It's just really mean to put someone through the anxiety of ghosting. That part is over now and I can just be sad and accept it's over. 

[wampuscat]

Ugh. I'm sorry, @pdx18. That was shitty of him.

[cuddlyevil]

Have you called him?

[1confused1]

Sorry lady!

[Deleted]

May 28, 2015 15:48:17 GMT -5 mp said:

Is there any way that your texts came off super weird to him? I mean - sometimes I have to tone down my crazy...

I say this as kindly as possible - multiple men 'ghosting' after exclusivity has been established isn't really common. Not that it can't happen, and maybe you just have shitty luck.

Maybe have a good friend review your text communications, not that I think you're wrong, but maybe you came off really weird or passive aggressive without realizing it?

No not at all. My friends have all seen them and also those who have met him are frankly shocked after seeing us together. This is only the second time I've been exclusive with someone one ever. The other one did ghost me the first time, but it was after we had a big fight and it made some sense. We got back together after that, he admitted he was ridiculous and wrong and we broke up for other reasons.

Other ghostings have been the typical 2-3 date guy or ambigious FWB/I like them, they aren't as into me situations. I will fully admit some of those I was a total mess in. 

My texts were totally normal. We were exclusive and texted regularly throught out the day. We've been in touch everyday since the day we met. He had stuff at my place. He had met my friends and my parents (activites took place around my birthday and he was totally up for it), he talked about how much he liked my dad and looked forward to talking to him again. He regularly doted on me, met me at the end of the dirt road when camping so he could warn me about pot holes, paid attention and bought my favorite wine, etc. 

We'd alluded to furture plans and had some long talks about life and stuff. We seemed to be in a good place.  

Here are the text breakdowns:

We texted normally on Monday afternoon about camping gear after getting back from our trip. I knew he was going into a rough week at work.

So on Tuesday morning I sent:

"Hope today isn't too stressful. I'd love to see you this week, if you're feeling up for it." (we've previously talked about how he's felt sort of worn down after work lately and we regularly talk about making plans for the week ahead).

Follow-up last night.

"Don't want to bother you, but wanted to say hi and make sure everything was okay." (sure the bother part was a little passive, but I don't think it's ghost worthy, especially to someone I've been in regular contact with)

[Deleted]

May 28, 2015 16:23:51 GMT -5 mp said:

No, definitely not ghost worthy. I mean, it's sad to be optimistic that he's in the hospital, isn't it? lol.

Phew! I was like maybe I AM a crazy person. I've previously really gone off the rails and sent some super embarssing texts (to other men, years ago) so I was like is this a check myself before I wreck myself situation? So I felt like I should really provide a TON of context there hahaa.

Also to the bolded. I'm laughing because yesterday I sent something similar to one of my friends I was like it's a sad world when I would be relieved to find out he was in the hopsital."

Honeslty I'm just really confused by the whole thing. I mean in the end the why doesn't matter. But I'm sad. Really sad. I thought I had met such a wonderful man! 

[Deleted]

May 28, 2015 16:42:33 GMT -5 mp said:

Back when I dated starbucks guy - i totally showed up at his work place when he didn't respond to me. Now THAT was crazy.

LOL.

Ha! At least you can play that off casually. Funny story. So just now I googled his name, juuuuuust in case he had been in the news. He has a fairly common name, but you never know! Anyways so as I start typing in his name the first google suggest is "his name coma." I was like WHAT?? then realize totally different person from 2012.