Update on me

[Smurfette]

Hi! I just wanted to update. We tried to reconcile and it ended with him packing his things yesterday and walking out. I'm ok and actually relived. I felt like I had to just try. Stupid irrational thoughts about being a failure. He used to be an awesome and amazing human being. Now, I don't know, he seems to be an angry and self-absorbed person. He yells, curses, and hits things. Honestly, I'm scared of what he could do. I found some stuff on Craigslist he had been posting. It's gross.

I am getting all of my things together this weekend and moving in with my brother up north. I feel like I need distance from him and his family.

This whole thing is a jumble. Sorry. Thank you for all of your kind words in my last post. Honestly, the words played over and over in my mind when he would be in a fit. I hope to start posting more :-)

[bg]

Good luck moving forward! I hope the distance helps you heal.

[prettipenny]

Good luck! I don't think it's stupid or irrational that you wanted to see if things could be reconciled. Good luck with your move this weekend :-)

[glitzyglow]

Sorry you've found yourself in the situation, but best of luck to you going forward. My exH was also awesome...until he wasn't, so I totally get what you're saying. Welcome and definitely feel free to jump in our conversations!

[MyName]

Ugh, I relate to this so much. It's really hard, but that feeling of relief is what you need to hang on to, not the nostalgia. When I moved into my own place (we were together since college, 12 years, 7 of them great, a couple ok, and the rest were absolute shit) and sat on my new couch, I literally felt like a weight had been lifted. It's been great since, so I'm sure when you get there, and you'll have the same feeling. But there are a lot of paths to get to that final feeling, so don't beat yourself up about trying to make it work for your own reasons. No one else will ever completely understand your unique situation and you are the only one can make these decisions. I'm just here to say, don't be scared and go with your gut. ((hugs))

[pandora]

Time and space will hopefully help with the healing. Sounds like you have some closure already for giving it another go and realizing it wasn't going to work. Stick around here for support & advice!

[katieido]

There's no shame in doing your due diligence, a lot of us stayed in it longer than necessary hoping for the best. I'm sorry you had to be disappointed twice. Hooefully time will give clarity and peace.

[Smurfette]

Thank you all for your kind words. :-) We have to spend today together to separate everything. I saw him yesterday and it made me sad and I felt bad for him. He just seems like a lost soul, almost like a stranger. I know now that I can't help him anymore and I feel like I have been relieved of a huge weight.