Am I anasshole?

[Dory1988]

Not in general but in the following situation...

This guy and his wife started hanging out with our group of friends. She seemed like a nice normal person so I befriended her. She's 24 so I figured she would act pretty much like an adult. She's a SAHM with a 4 year old and pregnant. Anyway, she said she didn't have many friends so we went to lunch and hung out a bit. I witnessed her smoking and drinking those extra large cups of coffee or Mt. Dew on the regular and she ignored my caution against it. Then she started blowing up my phone 24/7. Sometimes it was social sometimes it was to tell me she was going to the hospital with pre term labor. We discussed this because she would ask me what I was doing at 0900 after a night shift and it stopped. A bunch of my friends took me to lunch for my birthday. I got there last. She was seated at the head of the table when I arrived with everyone surrounding her and she was the only one that didn't get up to give me a hug and say happy birthday. We talked about her the whole time and she finally said happy birthday on her way out the door. Today she send a text saying she's having a baby shower for herself and asked who could bring food, help her write invites, and make games. Excuse me? I'm not helping and that's tacky as hell. I bought you a gift that's all you get. Every time I see her husband he's complaining about her not cleaning or cooking or really doing anything. This group is the MC DH is a part of and they have a clubhouse. She would bring her kid out there til 2AM! Never provided him any entertainment. He straight up tore apart my house once just walking up to a bowl of fruit in my house talking it without asking and knocked over a space heater on my carpet. She did nothing. I'm writing her off. I really want to refuse to go anywhere she is but that's inconvenient. Am I being petty? Like I'm really afraid I think no one could be this self absorbed and I'm being an ass.

[Ashsmash]

This chick sounds awful. She's the asshole, not you!

[Dory1988]

Thanks guys I feel better about it. I really thought I was just being super judgey.

[dcn]

She sounds awful.

[beans]

There's an asshole in this story but it not you! I would avoid this person as much as I could

[amaristella]

You're not the asshole. For her, I would be busy tomorrow. Busy next week. Busy next month. I think I might even have some fledgling plans in the works for next year.

I've only ever received one invitation from a person who threw her own baby shower. It was a gal whose husband worked for mine. I went to their wedding, we bought them a gift off their registry. I really wanted to be supportive of the young couple and hope that they grew older and wiser together (that was actually the theme of the talk from the clergy-person who married them, that they were young and needed everyone's guidance and support) but by the time they invited us to their self-thrown baby shower I was done done done.

[Aquatica]

You're not an asshole, sounds like she's toxic to your sanity (and rude). Like amaristella suggested, becoming "busy" will give her the hint you want to be acquaintances.

[NomadicMama]

She sounds exhausting, self-centered and full of drama. You have to "play nicely" in the company of others, but it's a darn shame that you are fully scheduled otherwise and can't squeeze her in…even for that super special baby gift-grab, I mean shower.

[Dory1988]

Yeah I actually asked to work the day of the shower but I've been making up obligations when she asks if I'm busy.

[Dory1988]

So, she sent out a group text (DH said I can't block her haha) canceling her baby shower. it really felt like she was trying to make us feel bad for her/guilty that no one helped her SMH. Apparently one of the ladies told her we'd be too busy to help anyway because we're all going out of town the week before she wanted to have it and then helping the guys put food together for a giant barbecue the week after she wanted to have it. Plus all of us have full time jobs...oy.

[brandienee]

Lol for days. No, you can't throw yourself a party and expect people to help. And try to make them feel bad when they actually have lives. Lololol.

I don't get this woman.

[Deleted]

I am SMH at all of her behavior. Not anasshole *gavel*.

[Deleted]

Oh boy. Run. Run far away.