Post by ninjabridemom on Jun 4, 2015 12:25:21 GMT -5
Confidence goes a long way but confidence for most can be brought down by others.
Judgement and labeling can definitely affect confidence. There's some small onus on the recipient -- care less!! -- but it's a larger issue than that.
Especially when you're talking about things that have been drilled into our heads since toddlerhood (princesshood, the varying compliments given to boys v girls, etc).
That doesn't happen. Lol. Once people are IN the clothes they have purchased, I think everyone is 100% nice. But any random "wdyt of these shoes/this purse?" I see it allll the time.
This is actually making me mad.I'm so fucking sick of women judging other women, especially if you're a mother judging another mother. ffs. Sometimes it just is a struggle to get out the door after getting like 3 or 4 hours of sleep because you've been up with a cranky kid all night, and any other mother should know how hard it can be. What good does it do to say "ooh, she's wearing yoga pants and a top knot. She's really letting herself go"
Listen, you want to dress up, that's cool. But fuck, man, don't judge other women. Ugh.
Confidence goes a long way but confidence for most can be brought down by others.
Judgement and labeling can definitely affect confidence. There's some small onus on the recipient -- care less!! -- but it's a larger issue than that.
Especially when you're talking about things that have been drilled into our heads since toddlerhood (princesshood, the varying compliments given to boys v girls, etc).
so what the solution? you can't completely sanitize society or only allow certain messages in. one thing you can have some level of control in is your reaction to those messages I think that's where the 'care less' statements are coming from. you can work to change those judgments and labels while simultaneously giving less fucks.
Confidence goes a long way but confidence for most can be brought down by others.
Judgement and labeling can definitely affect confidence. There's some small onus on the recipient -- care less!! -- but it's a larger issue than that.
Especially when you're talking about things that have been drilled into our heads since toddlerhood (princesshood, the varying compliments given to boys v girls, etc).
so what the solution? you can't completely sanitize society or only allow certain messages in. one thing you can have some level of control in is your reaction to those messages I think that's where the 'care less' statements are coming from. you can work to change those judgments and labels while simultaneously giving less fucks.
Definitely but that's where the building up comes in. There's a lot of internal self-work to be done, too, in terms of turning the convo from you as ornament to you as instrument -- which is only helped by a more supportive community. If we work on the micro level to stop w the judgment and encourage others (instead of getting exasperated that they DO care) I think that will help a lot.
I think the media has a huge responsibility on this too but I have no clue how to address that. The macro level is beyond my knowledge. Some people (Princess Free Zone, Rebecca Hains of The Princess Problem, Beauty Redefined) have ideas but it's such a large issue that I don't know if it would ever be resolved.
I wake up and put on my vintage 50s housewife dress complete with seamed stockings, garter belt, heels, and flouncy crinoline, a full face of makeup, and a delicate lacy apron. Then I do the shopping, dishes, vacuuming and dusting in said getup before reapplying makeup and fixing my hair so I can give my man a cold drink and a blowjob as soon as he walks in the door.
I'm very frumpy right now if ill-fitting clothing is the standard definition. I'm dropping sizes fairly rapidly, and I just can't afford to go out and buy a new wardrobe to wear for a month or so. Some of my pants are too big right now, I've only recently gotten two pairs of my current size, otherwise I'm wearing a size too big. Same with tops, most are too big now.
Post by vampsterdam on Jun 4, 2015 13:09:11 GMT -5
I feel like you can't win either way.
There have been times I've dressed up for work (wrap dress and wedge heels) or running errands (just jeans, ballet flats, and a nice top) and people comment, "who are you trying to impress?" or "why don't you just dress for comfort?".
A SAHM I know got talked behind her back so much and mutual friends said things like, "Maybe if she spent less time on her hair and accessories, she could do more projects with her kids". Ew.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I find the whole "bootcut jeans are out of style and frumpy" thing funny. Lots of designers are showing wide leg and boot cut jeans for Fall. It's all in how you wear them.
Frumpy is a state of mind. You can wear clothes that are "frumpy" on MMM terms, but have a fabulous personality that could allow you to wear a burlap sack and still be fabulous.
Frumpy is as frumpy does.
Ain't that the truth.
Example A (and B): The Olsen twins.
I love their look and it's the one I look like more times than not.
When I saw page 1 of this post, my answer to "What is Frumpy" was Amy Farrah Fowler.
Now that we're on page 5, I'll say I stopped posting in OOTDs years ago because I couldn't take the flaming I got.
I'll stick to posting pictures of my kid looking cute :-).
That is all, carry on.
you actually got flamed over an OOTD? that's pretty bitchy. sorry
Meh, it was years ago. And maybe "flamed" is not the right word. But there was heat, I couldn't take it, and I quickly got my frumpy ass out of the kitchen :-)
I find the whole "bootcut jeans are out of style and frumpy" thing funny. Lots of designers are showing wide leg and boot cut jeans for Fall. It's all in how you wear them.
On my head would be wrong, yes?
And, the Olsens' line, the Row, won the CDFA award for Womenswear line of the year. Boy, they must be really rich!
I find the whole "bootcut jeans are out of style and frumpy" thing funny. Lots of designers are showing wide leg and boot cut jeans for Fall. It's all in how you wear them.
On my head would be wrong, yes?
I'd have to see the pic to be sure. It's all about what you pair with them.