Post by marriedin05 on Aug 15, 2012 22:08:30 GMT -5
How often does she call you guys. Home or cells. I have been married for 7 years, together 14. His sister calls our phones at least daily, but usually each of us a couple times a day, or text us. I do love her and she is a single mom and right now living with the in laws. It's always been this way but lately it is driving me crazy more than usual. I like talking to my family once a week or so. If I tell her earlier in the day we are gonna hang at home and relax she still calls. Never something important or I wouldn't mind. Just to chat and check in. Do you guys talk to your family this much? I feel mean but I have started to just ignore the calls.
I text with my SIL maybe a couple of times a month, tops, usually to make plans to gtg. She only calls/texts H if she needs something/family-related stuff.
Post by Jalapeñomel on Aug 15, 2012 22:12:15 GMT -5
Maybe I should also preface that I don't really have much of a relationship with my brother. Which makes me really sad, but I am at a lost as to how to fix it.
Post by marriedin05 on Aug 15, 2012 22:14:51 GMT -5
Man, I feel so much better with these responses. I feel like a mean bitch but it is making me crazy and DH is just fine to let her call and chat a while. If I don't answer my phone she calls his.
Maybe I should also preface that I don't really have much of a relationship with my brother. Which makes me really sad, but I am at a lost as to how to fix it.
Post by janiejones on Aug 15, 2012 22:15:49 GMT -5
she calls me whenever she is walking to the bus stop and bored. Well, not so much now that she's in Australia, but when she is living in Canada, this is how it works.
Man, I feel so much better with these responses. I feel like a mean bitch but it is making me crazy and DH is just fine to let her call and chat a while. If I don't answer my phone she calls his.
I don't have a SIL but my Mom has a ton. She never talks to any of my Aunts. We see or talk to them (expect one) on Holidays. Don't feel mean. This situation is excessive.
I don't think I've ever talked to H's sister on the phone. They rarely talk too. We get along fine when we do see each other though.
I used to talk to my brother's wife every two weeks or so. But I haven't spoken to her since my dad's funeral last November. I don't foresee talking to her ever again. She was a cuntbeast to me at the lowest point in my life.
Quite possibly the best thing about facebook is that it eliminates the need to contact my SILs outside of the internet. As long as I like a status every once in a while, they leave me alone.
I have 2 SILs (H's sisters). I never talk to them on the phone. They never call/text me or vice versa. H talks to his mom and brother a couple of times a week but doesn't really talk to his sisters on the phone very much. Actually, none of my ILs call me ever. Ha.
ETA: I get along with all of my ILs, we just don't have that kind of relationship where we talk all the time. I only even talk to my own family about once a month.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
Post by noodleskooze on Aug 15, 2012 22:28:47 GMT -5
H has two older sisters. We only text if they're wishing us happy birthday or inviting us to a family thing. We do get along very well, it's just not the type of relationship where we'd call or text a lot.
Quite possibly the best thing about facebook is that it eliminates the need to contact my SILs outside of the internet. As long as I like a status every once in a while, they leave me alone.
Thank. Goodness.
This is the situation I wish I had I do not want to talk to anyone daily except my husband and coworkers on days I work. I feel bad that this has got to me so bad after 14 years of it. Dh won't say anything so I may have to. I am really dreading this. Thanks so much for the input of others.
She calls me once or twice a year, maybe a third time if she needs a ride to/from the airport. She will text me maybe half a dozen times a year. She texts H a bit more often, usually to pass along "messages" from the ILs (mom misses you, you should visit, etc). Unfortunately, it's more often when she wants/needs something.
I wish we were closer. I actually do like her very much, and if she hadn't moved out of state I think we'd be better at communicating.
H texts his youngest sis (28) throughout tge day and they usually talk after work. He keeps close with her bc the test of their fam lives in another country so he doesn't want her to feel like she is alone. She and I usually ionly speak during Greys Anatomy season.
Quite possibly the best thing about facebook is that it eliminates the need to contact my SILs outside of the internet. As long as I like a status every once in a while, they leave me alone.
Thank. Goodness.
This is the situation I wish I had I do not want to talk to anyone daily except my husband and coworkers on days I work. I feel bad that this has got to me so bad after 14 years of it. Dh won't say anything so I may have to. I am really dreading this. Thanks so much for the input of others.
Do you have caller ID? If she doesn't take a hint you might consider just screening her calls. It's good that she wants to be close with you guys, but she needs to know that sometimes you guys have other priorities and you can't always be there, especially if she's calling every day.
I like her fine. But we'll never be besties. There's nothing personal about it. We've never offended each other (that I know of.) But short of my marrying her brother, we have nothing in common and nothing has really clicked between the two of us. It would make it awkward in fact if either of us tried to force an affinity that isn't there.
So I'm kind of a wreck about sewing something for her coming baby lol. I want to soooo bad but I'm worried I don't know her well enough to do something she'll like and I don't want to put her in the position of pretending to like something she doesn't.
My SIL (bro's wife) and I virtually never talk on the phone, or really even via text, unless we are planning something specific or meeting somewhere, which, in and of itself, is pretty rare. We are trying to be more friendly with one another after going on a family vacation, but it's still usually sending an e-mail of something the other might like, occasionally commenting on each others fb posts, that sort of thing.
XH's sisters and SIL's and I never ever contacted one another. We interacted at family things, the XH and his brothers would be the go betweens. I had no relationship with any of them and we had nothing in common. Since I separated/ divorced, I haven't spoken with any of BILs or SILs.
After 10 years, my IL's have come to terms with the fact that I'm an introvert. We mostly text. DH talks to his family daily. All of them. Sometimes more than once. I don't care. I'm blessed with great IL's. Unless it is my parents, sister, or H, it goes to voicemail. I like to know the situation in advance. Maybe I'm weird. I love caller ID. I see both sides of the family at least twice a week. I'm not hiding out. Just hate talking on the phone.
This is the situation I wish I had I do not want to talk to anyone daily except my husband and coworkers on days I work. I feel bad that this has got to me so bad after 14 years of it. Dh won't say anything so I may have to. I am really dreading this. Thanks so much for the input of others.
Do you have caller ID? If she doesn't take a hint you might consider just screening her calls. It's good that she wants to be close with you guys, but she needs to know that sometimes you guys have other priorities and you can't always be there, especially if she's calling every day.
We have started screening her calls more and not answering. I get Dh doesn't want to be in the middle and have to tell her to not call so much. I was hoping she would take the hints and just stop calling so often. I like us being so close. We have no kids and I love spending time with my niece. I just don't want to be called every day by anyone unless it is important.
Never. I told her the next time she even says DH's or my name I was going to give her a new face (she did some really mean and spiteful things to DH because he didn't blow rainbows up BIL's freeloading ass.) So, she never calls me. When she sees me at family events she runs. It's pretty awesome. :/
I wanted to add that I have a friend who would call me and if I didn't answer, would call H. It was sooooo fucking annoying. I ended up getting tipsy with her one night and told her to knock it off.
I mean, if it was an emergency, yes, call both of us, but she was just calling to chat.
I think your SIL might just be lonely. Maybe you can play Words with Friends or something with her instead?
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
After 10 years, my IL's have come to terms with the fact that I'm an introvert. We mostly text. DH talks to his family daily. All of them. Sometimes more than once. I don't care. I'm blessed with great IL's. Unless it is my parents, sister, or H, it goes to voicemail. I like to know the situation in advance. Maybe I'm weird. I love caller ID. I see both sides of the family at least twice a week. I'm not hiding out. Just hate talking on the phone.
This is the perfect summary of my situation. I really love all my inlaws. I just like my alone time and time with just DH. We have no kids right now to enjoy this time