If/when you get married again

[formerlyak]

My first wedding was a stressful big pretty pretty princess day. My 25 year old self thought it was awesome. I was remarried at 38 and wanted none of that. My dh doesn't like being the center of attention, so he didn't want a traditional wedding with first dance and all that either, but he did have people he wanted there since it was his only wedding. We did a ceremony on the beach that is walking distance from our house and then had a dinner party at the restaurant that is adjacent to that beach. It was awesome. Our ceremony was short and sweet - 15 minutes. It was raining off and on that day (in California in July so we weren't expecting it), so we literally ran out between rain clouds, did the ceremony and then went inside to eat.

[liubot]

If it ever happens again I'm going to elope in Vegas.

[Deleted]

@soulcupcake, that's awesome!!!! Great pics!

[riverpestie]

Jun 12, 2015 8:14:40 GMT -5 dreamcrisp1 said:

I haven't gotten married before but...

We've decided we're gonna have a small destination wedding and a reception/party when we get back. I've always wanted a small wedding. Id rather elope but our parents have said they'd rather be there so small destination it is! I think a big wedding is a waste of money but it's also not my style. We've discussed Costa rica, Fiji, Aruba... But logistics and financials would need to be determined to choose one.

Check out Belize, too (if you want)!! It is pretty easy to get married there and they speak English! My FI and I were kicking ourselves once we found out how easy it was to get married there and how cheap our Belize trip was! We would have done it on the beach and booked an all-inclusive to stay at. 
At the time we went to Belize in December, people had already booked their flights to Italy, so we decided not to change it. 

[riverpestie]

Jun 12, 2015 9:19:43 GMT -5 starryfish said:

I haven't been here for a while....but I eloped with my now DH in March. We both wanted to get married with our toes in the sand, so we took a cruise and got married on Grand Cayman Island. It was beautiful and absolutely perfect with just the two of us.

OMG!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? Please text me some pics!!!!

[Deleted]

My 1st wedding was fairly small, I think we had 80 total, 1 person on each side in the bridal party. I hate being the center of attention.

When and if I get married again I'd choose the courthouse and splurge on the honeymoon. But I'd be open to compromising with what he wants.

[dreamcrisp1]

Jun 12, 2015 16:03:17 GMT -5 riverpestie said:

Jun 12, 2015 8:14:40 GMT -5 dreamcrisp1 said:

I haven't gotten married before but...

We've decided we're gonna have a small destination wedding and a reception/party when we get back. I've always wanted a small wedding. Id rather elope but our parents have said they'd rather be there so small destination it is! I think a big wedding is a waste of money but it's also not my style. We've discussed Costa rica, Fiji, Aruba... But logistics and financials would need to be determined to choose one.

Check out Belize, too (if you want)!! It is pretty easy to get married there and they speak English! My FI and I were kicking ourselves once we found out how easy it was to get married there and how cheap our Belize trip was! We would have done it on the beach and booked an all-inclusive to stay at. 
At the time we went to Belize in December, people had already booked their flights to Italy, so we decided not to change it. 

Ah yes! My boyfriend went to beliZe in January and loved it!

My cousins got married in Italy, btw, and it was amazing! You're gonna love it! They got married outside the Pantheon.

[redshoejune]

I really liked a lot of things about my wedding, so it would be tough for me to figure out how to do something that felt different but that I still liked. I think I would probably do a pretty big ceremony and have my kids involved. The one thing I regret about my wedding to XH was that we were trying to keep it small and cut out a few people, literally about 8. If I do it again, I think I would just invite whoever we wanted instead.

[Deleted]

starryfish and @soulcupcake
How did your family and friends react to you eloping? Especially soulcupcake--you said they were unaware. Were you engaged for a time beforehand? The reason I ask is because I would totally consider doing that. But my mom...she'd have an issue with it, I'm sure. Also, I feel like once you're engaged the questions start rolling in-"when's the wedding?"
Starry- on the beach and alone sounds delightful.

ETA: not sure why I can't really tag soul cupcake.

[glitzyglow]

I wanted a small wedding the first time, but exH's mother was such a damn diva about having every single damn person she pretty much ever talked to at the wedding that I caved. Reasons you shouldn't get married at 19: if you can't stand up to your MIL.

If there is a next time, I want it to be small and intimate. My friend got married in November and they rented a cabin and had only family and close friends stay and it was awesome. Also, I want my dad to walk to me down the aisle...last time I had my bio dad and step dad do it; next time just my step dad, who I consider to be my father.

[pinkdutchtulips]

HUGE IF lol

if i decide to do it again .. either some secluded beach (think Sonoma County, CA or Sleeping Bear Dunes in MI) or a historical house/place of some kind - as long as its NOT based on the CA Gold Rush we'll be ok !

my wedding was perfect but for the groom lol ... cute little Gold Rush era church, 65 people, early to mid afternoon reception .... got SUPER lucky w/ the mid March weather - 80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky !

[Deleted]

I had a "typical" first wedding. It was great and stress-free and I had fun.

If I get married again I'd be happy with just eloping and doing a combined wedding/honeymoon. When my boyfriend and I started dating we were talking about our feelings on marriage (he's also been married before) and he said he'd just want to have 1 big party with all his friends if he got married again. I'd be fine with that as well since I'm sure he'd do all the planning!

[Queen Mamadala]

Jun 12, 2015 22:07:50 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

starryfish and @soulcupcake
How did your family and friends react to you eloping? Especially soulcupcake--you said they were unaware. Were you engaged for a time beforehand? The reason I ask is because I would totally consider doing that. But my mom...she'd have an issue with it, I'm sure. Also, I feel like once you're engaged the questions start rolling in-"when's the wedding?"
Starry- on the beach and alone sounds delightful.

ETA: not sure why I can't really tag soul cupcake.

I called my mom the next morning, and holy crap was I crazy anxious. I think I started with "Mom, I have to tell you something..." and She said in her stern voice "What is it!? Tell me!"

She was shocked, to say the least, and had all these questions. My mom has been in two abusive relationships, so she's extra cautious about such things. She hadn't met H (she lives in GA and we're in CA), so she was skeptical, understandably so. Once it set it she was cool with it.

I *think* I called my dad before her because I knew he'd be less cautious/upset. He was all "Oh, okay, well congratulations!" He married my stepmom after two months of dating, and they met through those dating services where you watch a video of potential suitors. He took it so well. 

We had been planning to elope for about six weeks, but no one knew about it. There wasn't a formal engagement. H told his parents, and his dad took it well, but his mom was disappointed because she wanted to be there and all that jazz. H and I don't like being the center of attention and he was opposed to a traditional wedding. 

We've talked about renewing our vows at the five year mark and having our parents there. I think MIL would like this. My younger SIL is getting married next January and MIL made a passive-aggressive comment about SIL inviting people to her wedding. Uh huh. Good for her. We didn't, and we have no regrets.

[Deleted]

Thanks for sharing @soulcupcake!

[starryfish]

Jun 12, 2015 22:07:50 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

starryfish and @soulcupcake
How did your family and friends react to you eloping? Especially soulcupcake--you said they were unaware. Were you engaged for a time beforehand? The reason I ask is because I would totally consider doing that. But my mom...she'd have an issue with it, I'm sure. Also, I feel like once you're engaged the questions start rolling in-"when's the wedding?"
Starry- on the beach and alone sounds delightful.

ETA: not sure why I can't really tag soul cupcake.

I told my parents while dating him that we would elope eventually so it was not a surprise surprise to them. We actually didn't get officially engaged but rather decided to elope last minute. We had been talking about it for a while and we knew we wanted to get married on the beach. This was a second wedding for both of us and I loved how intimate it was with just the two of us!

[Deleted]

I get really torn on this. I've said all along that I want to elope or have a very small gathering. I mostly lean toward that, but the more I think about it I can see the appeal of inviting our closest loved ones and sharing it with them. But then I don't know where the line is drawn and how many people that would end up being. I have a large family and lots of friends and issues with guilt so I don't know how comfortable I'd be inviting SOME family or SOME friends but not others. What qualifies as close family or friends?

I think my most recent idea is to elope with just the two of us and to have some kind of reception with people later. Well, I thought that all along but originally thought it would be something like a BBQ at my parents' house. Now I'm thinking if we are inviting people from all over the country/world we might need to do something fancier. Which then makes me a) excited and b) want to just skip the whole thing since I don't want to spend money on another wedding.

So, we'll see what happens when we get engaged. I had a wedding with about 80 guests last time and I don't want to do the traditional wedding route again. He had a courthouse wedding for his first wedding and has indicated he isn't interested in a large wedding either. We really haven't put a timeline on engagement/marriage so we haven't discussed it much further.

[somersault72]

I don't really want a wedding, but if I DID have one, I'd want a small beach wedding with just our nearest and dearest. My bf and I have both already done the big white wedding thing. If I was with someone who hadn't been married before and he wanted a more traditional wedding, I would certainly take that into consideration.