Post by irene adler on Jul 3, 2015 10:56:17 GMT -5
Imagine you live in a neighborhood with smallish lots (6500 sq ft.) and 6 foot fences between houses. Would you be ok with your neighbor putting a kids playhouse on a 5 ft platform (aka, a faux tree house), essentially negating the privacy aspect of the fence?
I need to gauge how appropriately we are reacting to family drama.
This is my neighborhood - except some lots are even smaller. I think mine is only 4500 sq feet, although the minimum now is 6000 sq ft. I would probably be irritated, but on the other hand, they could have an actual tree house so it is what it is. The only reason I would be irritated is that I specifically chose my lot because of the trees and privacy (it has a lot of it even though its small).
Post by EmilieMadison on Jul 3, 2015 11:16:19 GMT -5
The privacy fence isn't literally meant to obscure every and all views into and out of the yard. They have every right to put an elevated playhouse in their own yard, and I would think nothing of it.
Post by irene adler on Jul 3, 2015 11:31:08 GMT -5
Thank you for the perspectives. This is something that would bug me, especially tucked tight in the corner, which is what MIL asked DH to build while she is on vacation as a surprise for our niece.
The drama comes in when MIL changed her mind and complained to BIL, who in turn called Dh to ream him out. Dh is pretty upset.
We have a different version of one of these. It doesn't look that tall but it's definitely taller than it looks in the picture and from the loft platform we can see right into the neighbors' yards. I'd tell them to GTFO if they had a problem with it, honestly. Now, if we had neighbors that were outside in a pool a lot or something I would talk to my kids about respecting their privacy and all that but our neighbors are never out in their back yards.
Um, it's their property. They can do what they want (with in code).
I'm also laughing at 6500sq ft lot being smallish. I need to get out of the LA/OC area, huh?
I do wonder if something that high on the property line would be within code. It might count as a structure. It couldn't hurt to look up the local ordinance/regulations about this.
I wouldn't like it because I specifically bought a house that has no 2 story homes on either side (no houses in the back) because I like having privacy.
Also, this would be against our HOA rules. But I wouldn't be super pissed, hulk rage, type about it...
Most of the fences in our area are not privacy fences. It is pretty standard here to see what is happening next door - and we get to know our neighbors.
Yeah it would bug me a bit. I live in a neighborhood with these kinds of small, tight lots. It's all pretty much one story homes, so different than the kind of neighborhood @mx is describing, in which it wouldn't bother me.
On the one hand, I accept that living in a tight space means some loss of privacy. On the other, when you live in a tight space, you have more of an obligation to just be a little careful to respect your neighbors' space and privacy.
If my neighbors did something like that, I wouldn't complain and would accept it. But I'd be less likely to go out of my way to be nice or worry about whether my use of my property was negatively impacting them in any way.
Our lots are much bigger than that, but our neighbor built one. It is kind of annoying to only have a view of a bright blue, lime green, hot pink, and neon purple elevated tree house. Plus there is no longer a fence there to help block the shrill screams from their 3 kids plus their friends. I would have absolutely no problem with it if they had painted it normal colors, but I'm annoyed by their color choices. It's an eyesore. I would never complain about it to anyone, but I do think it is ugly. I have no concerns about them being able to see into my yard.
Thank you for the perspectives. This is something that would bug me, especially tucked tight in the corner, which is what MIL asked DH to build while she is on vacation as a surprise for our niece.
The drama comes in when MIL changed her mind and complained to BIL, who in turn called Dh to ream him out. Dh is pretty upset.
What does this mean? Why is BIL upset if MIL changed her mind, and why is he mad at your H?
When DH and MIL we're planning this, DH expressed concerns about being able to see directly into the neighbors windows. Mil initially agreed, but changed her mind. Instead of speaking directly with DH, who was building it, she complained to his brother who in turn called him.
I think we are alone in thinking this is odd, and I appreciate hearing other perspectives that have changed my thinking. But it doesn't change how shitty it is to be talked about behind his back.
We have something similar to what Cajunmom posted. It was here when we bought the house. But it's really immaterial - I can see a lot more of my neighbors yard from our 2nd floor!
What does this mean? Why is BIL upset if MIL changed her mind, and why is he mad at your H?
When DH and MIL we're planning this, DH expressed concerns about being able to see directly into the neighbors windows. Mil initially agreed, but changed her mind. Instead of speaking directly with DH, who was building it, she complained to his brother who in turn called him.
I think we are alone in thinking this is odd, and I appreciate hearing other perspectives that have changed my thinking. But it doesn't change how shitty it is to be talked about behind his back.
So MIL initially agreed that building it was a bad idea because the kids could look in the neighbors' windows, but then changed her mind that this condition is acceptable, and your H built the structure, and now MIL is back to thinking the window-peeking potential is unacceptable and complained to her other son, the father of the niece? I don't think the building of the raised climbing structure for the niece is weird at all, but I do think your MIL is. And why is your BIL miffed at your H if this was your MIL's plan? I don't get any of this, but I'm sorry your H is upset.
Post by irene adler on Jul 3, 2015 21:56:24 GMT -5
MixedBerryJam I'm not explaining this well, and most of the follow up is largely irrelevant. My initial question was answered, and I probably should have stopped there.
eta to remove bad juju. Family is weird and complicated at times.
MixedBerryJam I'm not explaining this well, and most of the follow up is largely irrelevant. My initial question was answered, and I probably should have stopped there.
eta to remove bad juju. Family is weird and complicated at times.