Pics of x-spouse on FB?

[kanga1]

Jul 15, 2015 15:39:35 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Jul 15, 2015 15:19:10 GMT -5 kanga1 said:

Thanks for the replies everyone! Didn't mean to start any arguments.
Back to my date I'm going on it with a cautiously open mind.....my friend gave him number so he's been texting me since Saturday. He went from wanting us to go out with my friend and her H to wanting to meet me alone tomorrow night to wanting to stop in at my work today and meet me when he got back into town from vacation. Yikes. I get that he is excited but hell no is someone I've never met going to just show up at my work. So we shall see what tomorrow night brings, just coming on a little too strong for my tastes.

You haven't even met this guy yet?

Yep that's the face I made when I got the text last night. I know who he is because he is my friend's cousin and was a couple years older than me at school. But I haven't actually met him in person. If I didn't know that he is at least halfway normal because of my friend I would have been freaked out and cancelled the date all together when he suggested stopping by my work. I'm afraid I may have a stage-5 clinger on my hands but I am going to give him a chance for us to meet in person.

[kanga1]

Jul 15, 2015 15:43:07 GMT -5 cam13 said:

How long has he been divorced? I didn't delete every picture on social media right away. And, as pp said, maybe he's not on FB a lot.

Regardless, I hope the date goes well!

Almost a year and a half

[glitzyglow]

Jul 15, 2015 15:36:53 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jul 15, 2015 14:41:24 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

?

Are you okay Jojo? This is oddly defensive. You and your husband have different comfort levels when it comes to presentation on social media. Different strokes for different folks.

huh?  It sounds like typical me to me.  My point was you compared pictures in your home to FB pictures, which are not even close to the same thing.  There are people who never get on FB, so judging them for still having pics of their ex is weird to me when you don't know if they have even been ON FB in a year. 

It's fairly easy to discern if someone is an active poster on fb thanks to their shitty privacy settings. Last post or profile picture update was yesterday and he has pictures of ex up? Weird to me. Last post was July 2013...not so weird. I feel like this is a strange argument of variables. Assuming the party actively uses fb, I find it strange. If he does not, I'm less inclined to be bothered by it.

[cam13]

Jul 15, 2015 15:48:34 GMT -5 kanga1 said:

Jul 15, 2015 15:43:07 GMT -5 cam13 said:

How long has he been divorced? I didn't delete every picture on social media right away. And, as pp said, maybe he's not on FB a lot.

Regardless, I hope the date goes well!

Almost a year and a half

I'd be slightly bothered but I'm sure you'll pick up on any red flags he throws down!

[berbles]

LOL, BF had his city listed wrong for over a year. He had it listed as the city he lived in with his exFI. I think he finally changed it when we became official, only because he was already in there editing info.

[verycontrary247]

Jul 15, 2015 9:21:23 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jul 15, 2015 8:28:19 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I guess I'd be concerned they weren't really over it. Personally, I deleted all pictures of exH once I decided that I had zero interest in getting back together.

Also I'm insecure.

Just because that was your personal choice doesn't mean anyone who keeps pics of their ex can't possibly be over it.

I tend to delete exes personally, but I still have a few with my XHSBF on FB.  It was my first trip to Vegas! I am not going to delete them just because he is in them.

Also-I have noticed most men are not as into FB as I am. He may post infrequently and not even realize those pics are still there. People give facebook way more power than it should have. Not everyone gives a shit about social media.

I didn't say that there was no possible way they weren't over it- I just said I'd be concerned.

[redshoejune]

It might bug me to see the pictures but I can't say much because I have been on fb for 11 years and was with xh for around 15. No way I'm going through to delete all that. And we have kids so there's that too.

[anongbcn]

[bonquiqui]

I have some too, although i think they are private. He was a part of my life for so long, and those are just pictures that reflect that point in time

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

XH and I are still friends too - this is how we can make sure our extended families get to see DS and stay updated on him (ie being friends with my XILs and posting pics of DS at swimming lessons helps them see him) and honestly I think if I personally went through and deleted XH and the pics of him would make me look petty and overinvested in looking like I'm over it. I think people know I'm over it because I never give it a second thought.

[Deleted]

Jul 15, 2015 12:16:13 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

Jul 15, 2015 8:08:27 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

glitzyglow & verycontrary247, out of curiosity why would it bother you?

It feels very awkward to me. Personally, I removed all pictures and all of my friends have removed pictures. That said, neither myself or my friends have kids. If someone keeps up pictures of, say, their kid's birthday and the ex is in the photo, I don't have any uncomfortableness with that. Having pictures of an ex on vacations, holidays, events, etc., would be awkward and bother me personally. I don't personally keep pictures of myself and my ex on display in my home for guests to see, so I treat my Facebook similarly and would prefer a partner to feel similarly (the kid issues brings exceptions).

It doesn't seem weird to me.

I don't see how you can compare pics in your house and pics on facebook. I go on facebook about one time per week. I don't take it that seriously. My ex was obviously a big part of my life for 9 years, I don't see why anyone has to pretend like that time period didn't exist in their life. 

I think I deleted my wedding album on facebook since that was easy to hide the entire album. But I most certainly didn't take the time to go through thousands of pictures and delete the ones he's in. Seems totally unnecessary. 

Why would it bother you? Everyone has a past life.