WTF Wednesday/Randoms/Whatevers

[jojoandleo]

It's hump day, people! I know you don't want to work!

WTF-to my interview. Having me ask all the questions? WHAT!?! Does that mean you like me and want me to find out if I am a fit? Or you already picked someone and are just going through the motions? Or you don't like me and don't care to get to know me? Or that is your interview style? SO AWKWARD! Sadly, I really like the place. I asked a lot of questions and it seems like a great fit for me. It is mainly legal research and writing. Legal research is, like, my one true love. AND they require way less hours AND let you work from home!

Random-I am excited to take another deposition on Friday. I love taking the lead on this stuff. It makes me feel successful.

[sweetchix]

WTF self (and WG): I was talking with M about WG in the lunchroom and I kinda broke down and teared up. I started to walk away saying I can't talk about it, but she followed me and we talked a bit more. I almost lost it completely, but she talked me around it. I obviously have a lot of mixed feelings still. I told her it bothers me still because I liked him so much and that now, he will continue to talk with her about anything and everything again, but still avoids me like the plague. And he jokes with her about it. Nothing about that situation was remotely funny, I don't know why he thinks it was. He also talks to her about me. Like yesterday, he and I walked together during our afternoon break. The other 3 were in meetings. She told me that afterwards he went over to her cube and asked why she left him alone with me? I guess I don't understand what's so horrible about me now that he can't be an adult and talk to me (alone or when others are around) without having to go run and yell at someone for putting him in that situation. Dude- you put yourself (and us) in that situation. Also, I told him the test results were negative and he IM'd her telling her I told him that (she already knew) and he jokingly insinuated that I thought she was the unclean person. Ummm, no. It was because I had no idea how many others there were and I wanted to make sure all was good. She even told him that and said that we had no idea if there was a 3rd, or 4th, or 5th... She's being tested next month as well. She told me this morning that I should ask him what gives. I said I wouldn't believe anything that came out of his mouth because he had already straight out lied to each of us. Me- after I got back from Charlotte Memorial Day weekend, he was acting strangely and not texting/talking to me as much. I had called him and asked him what changed and he said nothing. Lies because that weekend I was gone was the first weekend they met up and slept together. Her- she specifically asked him if there was something going on between him and me before they hooked up the first time and he told her no, we were just friend. Anyway, she said she thinks either 1) he liked me as well and realizes that he really fucked things up and doesn't want to make anything worse and/or 2) he is embarrassed. But seriously, he did the same thing to both of us. What makes her different that me??? The only difference I'm aware of is that he and I had been fooling around since February and she and him started fooling around at the end of May. Not that I want to be all buddy/buddy with him, but we do frequently see each other throughout the day and our departments work together closely so he can talk to me.

Random #1: I'm sure you're all tired of hearing about WG drama, but here or with M are the only places I can get my feelings and thoughts out, however confusing and/or dumb they are. So, sorry about the brain dump above.

Random #2: It supposed to get into the low 90's today and I have a 5k to run walk tonight. I'm hoping they have extra water stations and that people who live along the route will have sprinklers and/or hoses out for us to run through.

[bl]

I am seriously WTFing about that interview, it sounds weird and I have no idea what it means. I guess you didn't even need my thoughts on the questions from yesterday. Sorry.

I just found out that a coworker of mine, that hired me and I adore found out yesterday that she has breast cancer. She had a biopsy taken when I was in town last week, and I guess I just didn't even think about it coming back positive. So sad.

[bl]

sweetchix I could be way off here, but something tells me it's more that M will allow him to have those conversations with her and be back in her life and you wouldn't. He is still manipulating her and their friendship or whatever it is, is not healthy.

[Deleted]

I'm going to see Kenny Chesney tonight! So excited!!

[sweetchix]

Jul 29, 2015 10:27:18 GMT -5 bl said:

sweetchix I could be way off here, but something tells me it's more that M will allow him to have those conversations with her and be back in her life and you wouldn't. He is still manipulating her and their friendship or whatever it is, is not healthy.

I don't think you're way off because I've wondered that myself. I do worry that she doesn't realize that and he will weasel his way back in. She said this morning that a friendship at work (im'ing, talking, going to lunch) is fine, but that's where she draws the line. She wants nothing more to do with him above and beyond that.

Plus, some friends, and maybe some of you here, had said it could be because he knows I'm stronger emotionally and won't let him back in, while she's going through a divorce and he thinks she's weaker emotionally because of that.

So I guess in a way he is still manipulating me if I'm letting this bother me

[jojoandleo]

Jul 29, 2015 10:23:53 GMT -5 bl said:

I am seriously WTFing about that interview, it sounds weird and I have no idea what it means. I guess you didn't even need my thoughts on the questions from yesterday. Sorry.

They will be helpful for next time.   I really liked your response to the "faults" question about ability to say no, because that IS one of my faults and something I HAVE worked on.  I even had a tailored response about waiting tables and picking up every shift I was ever asked to take and getting rundown and learning that I love helping out, but also need to make sure I don't burn myself out and learn to delegate.  Buuut, I didn't need it.  LOL.  Next interview. 

[bg]

I got my butt out of bed and ran this morning. I really need to get more serious about my half training.

Another teaching day -- we'll see how many students actually show up and whether or not the class gets canceled.

sweetchix I agree with what bl said about your situation, but I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Having a place to get the thoughts out is good!!! Good luck with your race!

[jojoandleo]

sweetchix-Okay, I don't know if a relationship with M is healthy at this point. She is playing go between with you and WG. If you ARE going to have a relationship with her, I think you need to tell her you don't want to know what he is saying about you. Because it doesn't matter. You can't change what he said and he would just lie is confronted. It just doesn't matter. I also think her being friendly with him at all is a slippery slope. Like, why is she allowing him to talk to her about you? She should shut that down. I think she enjoys it. It makes her feel special like she is different. In reality, she is only different because he knows she is easier to manipulate. Yes, you all should be CORDIAL at work, but you do not need to be FRIENDLY. There are people at my office I never talk to unless seen in passing and more of a "Hi, how are you?" and nothing else. Not everyone at work has to be friends.

[Deleted]

sweetchix, I haven't commented on this situation before (that I recall, lol) but I've read some of your posts about it. I honestly think you should just cut contact with him and maybe with M too. She's not helping you any by repeating this stuff to you. I get that you work together, but how closely? Can you just say hello and how are you without having to go any deeper, like you would with any coworker you aren't actually friends with?

He does not seem like someone you can (or should) have a friendship with. Why take walks with him? What good is that going to do you when he's done something so hurtful to you?

Brutal honesty - I looked at your post history (briefly) and it seems like this whole situation has been drama and uncertain for months. For someone you were not in a serious relationship with, this seems like way too much time and energy to be spending on it. I know it's not as easy as to say "just move on!" but seriously, I'd try to focus on not wasting any more of your emotions on this situation. It's not worth dragging out even longer. Talk about it here if you want, but stop talking to M about it. No good is coming of it and it's just making this a thing even longer than it needs to be.

[Deleted]

I'm being super neurotic today. My BF had to drive halfway across the state this morning and he rarely drives (he usually takes the bus or I drive if we're together). I told him to let me know he made it there safely, but I forgot my phone at home and he hasn't responded to my email. I tried calling him from my work phone and he didn't answer. I'm sure he's fine, but I know he was nervous about the drive since he hates driving and is really uncomfortable doing it (hands stiffly on the steering wheel, refuses to change the radio or do anything but stare at the road, etc. It would be funny if it wasn't nerve wracking).

I just would like to hear from him and know he made it ok His appointment was 45 minutes ago so theoretically he should be on his way back by now.

[cuddlyevil]

sweetchix, if M were truly your friend she'd a) not repeat to you what he has said and b) tell him to shitcan the talking about you to her/behind your back. WG is a jackass through and through, if she gets involved with him again that is on her.

[Deleted]

sweetchix this is really, really unhealthy. M and WG are clearly in cahoots and she is getting off on telling you the mean things he's saying about you. She isn't your friend. And the ins and outs of what happened with just don't matter especially for something that wasn't serious. I know this is easier said than done, but you have got to find a way to let this go and move on. That's not going to happen if you keep rehashing this and going on walks with him, etc.

[gozf]

sweetchix, I agree with everyone who's saying that M is not your friend. I would not continue to engage her, if I were in your shoes.

jojoandleo, I really hope you get the job!

[calle28]

Ditto everyone sweetchix. M isn't your friend. You should end all unnecessary work contact with BOTH of them. Their is just way too much drama. They both sound immature.

[jigsy]

Today needs to be over. I ended my vacation, got home and found my car was stolen. Picked up jiggles from the vet where I boarded him and he seemed fine there, but now he's limping and hold his paw up, so maybe he stepped on something on our walk home.
I've been trying to call the police to report my car, but it's just busy....I've tried different lines to transfer in but all goes to a busy line. Ugh.

[sweetchix]

I think this is all why I've been questioning my newfound friendship with M. Like I had said previously, we had just started getting to know each other when this all went down. I have been trying not to talk about WG when she and I talk and just make normal conversation, but every once in a while he comes up. I like her and would like to think she's not pretending with me. That's what makes me wonder if I'm sometimes too nice/naive/gullible/too trusting... call it what you will.

Gosh, I definitely do not want to be remembered as the "pencil girl" or "WG drama" girl. I can laugh at the pencil thing now, but going through it at the time was hard. I guess I can only hope that one day I can look back at this and laugh too.

[Wanderista]

I had a WTF moment earlier this week when a barista at Starbucks tried to tell me that chai isn't tea. They had some promotional thing going on where you would try to get 5 stickers for drinking iced beverages in July and then you would get one free. I had ordered iced chai before and gotten the sticker for it at this same Starbucks. I went in earlier this week, ordered an iced chai and the barista said, "That's not a tea beverage, only iced coffees or teas count. Do you want to get an iced coffee?"

Umm ... chai is a tea beverage and an iced chai is an iced tea beverage, but she didn't believe me. Chai/iced chai is pretty much what I order when I go to Starbucks. Frankly though, there's a much better smaller chain shop down the street from that place so I think I will start going there more often.

[sweetchix]

Oh, and regarding the walking thing... 5 of us have been walking on afternoon breaks together since around the end of May (WG, M, me, and 2 other guys). I figured why should I stop walking with them since the other 2 guys had nothing to do with this, and know nothing about it, so I've continued to walk with them. Well yesteday, M and the 2 other guys, were in meetings so it ended up just being WG and me.

[jigsy]

Jul 29, 2015 14:16:19 GMT -5 RamblingRose said:

Jul 29, 2015 12:58:31 GMT -5 jigsy said:

Today needs to be over. I ended my vacation, got home and found my car was stolen. Picked up jiggles from the vet where I boarded him and he seemed fine there, but now he's limping and hold his paw up, so maybe he stepped on something on our walk home.
I've been trying to call the police to report my car, but it's just busy....I've tried different lines to transfer in but all goes to a busy line. Ugh.

NOOOOOOOO. That is all shitty stuff. Is there an online system to report stuff? Here in my crappy little city we are encouraged to do that for non-emergency stuff.

{{{hugs}}}

Why can't my big city do that? Lol...I actually finally got through, but I have to go into the station. Ugh

[sweetchix]

Jul 29, 2015 14:17:00 GMT -5 TR said:

Jul 29, 2015 13:44:53 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

I think this is all why I've been questioning my newfound friendship with M. Like I had said previously, we had just started getting to know each other when this all went down. I have been trying not to talk about WG when she and I talk and just make normal conversation, but every once in a while he comes up. I like her and would like to think she's not pretending with me. That's what makes me wonder if I'm sometimes too nice/naive/gullible/too trusting... call it what you will.

Gosh, I definitely do not want to be remembered as the "pencil girl" or "WG drama" girl. I can laugh at the pencil thing now, but going through it at the time was hard. I guess I can only hope that one day I can look back at this and laugh too.

I'm sure she's NOT pretending with you. But she clearly isn't as bothered by the WG thing as you are. So even if she may have otherwise been a good friend, in this case it seems like it's not a good idea for you.

Yeah, she even admitted this. She said it's because they only went out a few times and that she knew it was a mistake, but went anyway.

[bl]

jigsy ugh sorry you're dealing with all that. I was actually hoping you were having a good vacation to balance out the work stress, what a way to come back.

[Deleted]

I'm perturbed with BF and can't tell if the irritation is more at the pattern of BF's selfish behavior or just that I'm over-reactionary because it's just something *I* would never do. I'm leaning more and more toward BF is a bad fit.

[doriswe]

Jul 29, 2015 14:21:15 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Jul 29, 2015 14:17:00 GMT -5 TR said:

I'm sure she's NOT pretending with you. But she clearly isn't as bothered by the WG thing as you are. So even if she may have otherwise been a good friend, in this case it seems like it's not a good idea for you.

Yeah, she even admitted this. She said it's because they only went out a few times and that she knew it was a mistake, but went anyway.

Here's my question...if the WG situation hadn't brought you two together, would you still want to be her friend? You were bonding over WG being a dick...so it didn't sound like she was much a friend back then, why keep her around now?

I'm with everyone else on this...she doesn't sound like a person you should keep in your life. And if all you have to bond over is WG, there is no way it will ever be a healthy relationship.

[Deleted]

Jul 29, 2015 12:58:31 GMT -5 jigsy said:

Today needs to be over. I ended my vacation, got home and found my car was stolen. Picked up jiggles from the vet where I boarded him and he seemed fine there, but now he's limping and hold his paw up, so maybe he stepped on something on our walk home.
I've been trying to call the police to report my car, but it's just busy....I've tried different lines to transfer in but all goes to a busy line. Ugh.

UGH.  I hope you have a bar or liquor store within walking distance.

[jojoandleo]

Jul 29, 2015 13:53:22 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Oh, and regarding the walking thing... 5 of us have been walking on afternoon breaks together since around the end of May (WG, M, me, and 2 other guys). I figured why should I stop walking with them since the other 2 guys had nothing to do with this, and know nothing about it, so I've continued to walk with them. Well yesteday, M and the 2 other guys, were in meetings so it ended up just being WG and me.

Yeah-I would either stop, or split the group up. I would not continue going on walks with WG even in a group.

As for M, I don't think she is PRETENDING to like you, but I do think she is a shitty friend.  You need to do what makes you comfortable, but I would at least tell her to stop telling you what WG tells her. You don't care and you don't need to know. Personally, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who let's WG continue to talk about you in that way. I probably wouldn't be friends with someone who continues to be friends with a man who treats women that way. I don't need that in my life.

I get you are hurt by the whole thing, and it's perfectly normal to talk about it. I think you take the advice here well and this is probably a good place for you to share. I don't think less of you because of it.

[formerlyak]

There was a fatal car accident in front of my house last night. It happened about 5 minutes after my DH got home from walking the dog - if it was 5 minutes earlier, my DH and dog may have been hit because it was right where they walk. We aren't sure what happened, but we live on a one way street and we are the last block of the street. You only go on our street if you know someone or live there. A couple in their 80s plowed through the stop sign at the bottom of our block, accelerated up our block (it's a hill - you have to accelerate to get up it) and slammed into the wall that is at the top of the hill. Driver was taken to the hospital and passenger died at the scene. There was police line in our driveway. A few of us neighbors were there before the police/fire. We got out fire extinguishers because we saw gas in the road and didn't know if fire would start. The air bags deployed. The whole front end was smashed in. One of the neighbors is an EMT and he cut the seatbelt off the lady driving because she was responsive but was having trouble breathing with the belt on her neck.

It was freaky. I am so glad it didn't happen a few hours earlier when kids were playing all up and down the block!

[1confused1]

I'm pissed at my landlord for being a cheap ass who won't hire a legit air conditioning company to come look at my ac. But i don't want to pay for one myself because I know he won't reimburse me (or will fight me if I keep it out of my rent).

I wish we could move but the rental market here has blown up. Ugh.

[liubot]

I went on a first date tonight. Had a beer with dude at a bar near where I live. We had been texting for about a week before we met and he's really cute. I had a good time!
I've been getting some nasty headaches lately and I blame the ac.

[alleinesein]

Jul 29, 2015 13:50:17 GMT -5 Wanderista said:

I had a WTF moment earlier this week when a barista at Starbucks tried to tell me that chai isn't tea. They had some promotional thing going on where you would try to get 5 stickers for drinking iced beverages in July and then you would get one free. I had ordered iced chai before and gotten the sticker for it at this same Starbucks. I went in earlier this week, ordered an iced chai and the barista said, "That's not a tea beverage, only iced coffees or teas count. Do you want to get an iced coffee?"

Umm ... chai is a tea beverage and an iced chai is an iced tea beverage, but she didn't believe me. Chai/iced chai is pretty much what I order when I go to Starbucks. Frankly though, there's a much better smaller chain shop down the street from that place so I think I will start going there more often.

They are an idiot!  Chai is the hindi word for tea.  Its also the same in Russian, Czech, Arabic, Croatian and a ton of other languages.