@ - some newborn sleeping/feeding questions

[Deleted]

Ya'll know i hate the bump - plus the advice I got about what we needed to buy pre-baby was spot on

Some questions. Mason is now 10 days old and definitely more alert than the first week! His actual due date is tomorrow.

1) he seems to only sleep well in the bassinet that goes with the Quinny buzz. Google seems to tell me its perfectly safe for him to sleep in (its a travel bed too) but is there anything I could try different to get him to sleep in the Pack n Play or his crib? I think he likes the basinet because its smaller, cozier, etc.

2) He falls asleep about 1/2way through his feedings. I usually burp and/or change the diaper at this point and then do some more. Sometimes though he will seem to be totally done, i will put him back to bed, and he will start rooting or sucking for more about 5 minutes later. WTH!?

3) He is a really noisy sleeper. He will make sounds like he is dreaming. And of course, I hear every single one and think he's up to feed. Does this stop?!

4) If he hasn't woken up after 4 hours to eat do I need to wake him? He is gaining back the weight he lost in the few days post-birth. I have another docs appt tomorrow to see where he's at.

5) He likes to snuggle and fall asleep on me before going back to bed. Am I totally setting myself up to have to snuggle him before bed? I feel like he's too young to be worried about these patterns yet.

6) When can I introduce the bottle without worrying about 'nipple confusion'? I've got loads of breastmilk, a pump, and dh would love to help out more. I'm thinking 4 weeks??

Thanks PS - any other sleeping/eating tips feel free to share!

[EloiseWeenie]

1. I had a rock and play for #2 and loved it. We always put her in the crib for naps, and in the rock and play overnight. It was cozier, and slightly upright, which was good since she choked several times on spit.

2. My son ate for a long time and would fall asleep while nursing. I did what you did- change diaper, undress, blow gently on face, play with feet. Sometime they're just done. If my daughter falls asleep while nursing, I don't bother to wake her up, I just put her down to sleep. I use pacifiers, so I let them suck on that.

3. Babies make a lot of noise when they sleep. Eventually they will be less snorty, but that takes awhile.

4. I always let both of my kids sleep until they woke up on their own. I had a nurse tell me that their blood sugar would dip if you let them go too long (5 hours? ) early on. We set 2 alarms, and neither went off- so we took that as a sign to enjoy sleep.

5. Snuggle, definitely. Soon they won't want to. After a month or 2, I start the put them down tired but awake approach.

6. Go ahead and start the bottle. Start using a pacifier. If your baby is latching fine, this shouldn't be a big deal.

ETA- swaddle, use the ones that close with velcro. I also swaddled until 7 months.

[NitaX]

ditto to the other advice.
I want to comment on your #5, enjoy baby cuddles. It only lasts for a small time. There is nothing sweeter than having a baby fall asleep on your chest. Whenever I hold Nae, I often think back to how much I enjoyed T sleeping like that. After a while, they get mobile and dislike being held.

[pescalita]

A lot of this is going to be kid-specific, but I'll tell you how it went for us.

1) he seems to only sleep well in the bassinet that goes with the Quinny buzz. Google seems to tell me its perfectly safe for him to sleep in (its a travel bed too) but is there anything I could try different to get him to sleep in the Pack n Play or his crib? I think he likes the basinet because its smaller, cozier, etc.

They like small cozy spaces at that age, they're not used to a lot of space. This is why the Rock N Play is so awesome. We moved him to his crib at about 3 mos, but he slept in his own room in the RNP from about 4 weeks. Honestly at about 2 weeks, he was just waking up and his sleep got worse - he was able to sleep in the PNP up until then. When we did transition to the crib, we started with his first nap, and when we did the night transition we elevated the head of the mattress and used rolled up receiving blankets under the sheet around him like little berms.

2) He falls asleep about 1/2way through his feedings. I usually burp and/or change the diaper at this point and then do some more. Sometimes though he will seem to be totally done, i will put him back to bed, and he will start rooting or sucking for more about 5 minutes later. WTH!?

Some kids are lazy eaters. A has always loved the boob, and it's his favorite place to sleep. In the very beginning in the NICU when he didn't have a lot of other coziness, he couldn't even stay awake to eat more than five minutes. Now he's happy to eat while sleeping, which I'm fine with. If he's not eating, or seems done and is still hungry, you might try to keep him more awake - strip him down, tickle his feet, stroke his chin, take sudden deep breaths, do breast compressions. I will say, after no more than a month or two, A just started chewing on his hands all the time, and won't give hunger cues other than getting fussy/crying. The book says that's a late cue, but it's the only one we've got.

3) He is a really noisy sleeper. He will make sounds like he is dreaming. And of course, I hear every single one and think he's up to feed. Does this stop?!

This is individual, A is pretty quiet, but I've heard people say they wish they had moved their kid to his own room sooner so everyone could get better sleep.

4) If he hasn't woken up after 4 hours to eat do I need to wake him? He is gaining back the weight he lost in the few days post-birth. I have another docs appt tomorrow to see where he's at.

I'd check his weight and check with the doc. We weren't concerned once he gained his birth weight back (which was at something insane like 4 days due to all the formula).

5) He likes to snuggle and fall asleep on me before going back to bed. Am I totally setting myself up to have to snuggle him before bed? I feel like he's too young to be worried about these patterns yet.

Don't worry about this at all at this age. We did most naps on a parent for at least a month, and I still sneak one in on the weekends occasionally; since he's been at day care he's slept great during the day. He may turn out a great sleeper or a horrible one, but at this point just do what you need to do to sleep.

6) When can I introduce the bottle without worrying about 'nipple confusion'? I've got loads of breastmilk, a pump, and dh would love to help out more. I'm thinking 4 weeks??

We had to right away, and didn't have any problems, but our plan was to try to go at least 2-3 weeks.

Thanks PS - any other sleeping/eating tips feel free to share!

It's easy to freak out about everything at this stage, but it all changes so quickly. Try to go with the flow and survive and not worry too much about habits; they'll change on their own soon enough.

[devonpow]

1. Habits really don't form until 3 months+. For newborns, the rule of thumb is "whatever works". As long as it is safe, go for it. DS2 only naps in the swing/on me/in the stroller/in the bjorn, and only sleeps in the rock n'play or swing at night thus far. He has yet to sleep on a flat surface...I'm not worried yet.

2. I don't have a good answer for this, other than trying the wet/cold washcloth on his feet to keep him going I had to do that with DS1 as an infant - he was a really sleepy eater.

3. The grunting/noise will eventually stop, but it can take a while. With both kids we had to move them into their own rooms at 4 weeks simply because we couldn't take the grunting anymore. We all slept better once we did this.

4. I always wake to eat DURING THE DAY. I don't let him go more than 3 hours. I never, ever wake at night. I say tank them up during the day, plus eating more/waking a bit more during the day helps differentiate between night and day (IMO)

5. Again, no worries about habits now. Snuggle away!

6. Both of my kids took at least one bottle a day from day 1, and both went back and forth from boob to bottle with zero issue. My LC told me that unless there is an underlying BFing issue (bad latch, etc) that nipple confusion is essentially a non issue. I do however have several friends who waited a while to introduce a bottle, and their kids would never take it.

[knittable]

Once you've had the weight check at the doctor it's fine to let him sleep. But until then, he is allowed one five hour stretch per day, so long as there are at least eight feedings during the day, so you might have to wake him more often during the day. If he is jaundiced or if there are any other concerns you should make sure you wake him night and day.

Ask your ped about the stroller. I don't think they're as safe as a real bed. Try swaddling, try white noise, try patting him to sleep while he's in the crib if he'll let you.

www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/waking-a-sleepy-baby

Try unswaddling, turn the light on, tickle feet to wake him up. Is he jaundiced?

Some babies are just really noisy sleepers. You might get more sleep if he's in another room. Even the hallway outside your room might help.

Snuggles are lovely. His sleep will go to hell when he's four and nine months anyway, so make the most of it now. And he'll be fourteen and embarrassed by you in about three weeks from now.

Introduce a bottle at two weeks (provided no nipple pain, and good weight gain) and make sure you give one or two per week so he doesn't forget how to do it.

In general, www.kellymom.com is an awesome site with really good advice.

[ringstrue]

1) ditto swaddling/making him "cozy" in the crib or PNP to mimick the smaller space. My mom even taught me the technique of putting a bit of the swaddling blanket up by their cheek so they feel it and are comforted by it.

2) What do you mean by 1/2 way through the feedings? Some babies can feed FAST and newborns are good at stopping when they are full unless they pull off due to being upset. DD nursed in 5 minute sessions - 5 MINUTES!! I hesitate to say to mess with that unless you are wrapping him up hella warm and he is too warm to stay awake, kwim?

4) Don't wake him!!

5) No - we did this until she was too old for that to be enough and needed definitive "rock in the rocker" time before bedtime. I wanna say we did it just having her falling asleep to watching TV and snuggling for the better part of her first year.

6) Start with the NB size nipple and move up to a size 1 if he really hates, the NB size, like DD did. That's the only thing that can become an issue - using a big size.

[heyjude]

1. Babies usually like the bassinet in the beginning for the reasons you sited. You could try a swaddle to put him somewhere else. In fact swaddles are great regardless.

2. If he still seems hungry, keep feeding him. Take off his clothes or blow on his face to keep him awake and sucking.

3. I can't speak on baby sounds.

4. I think you are to keep waking every 3-4 hours until they are back at birth weight. But definitely talk to your doctor about this.

5. Don't worry about forming habits right now. All your baby knows is snuggling (think of the womb) so give him lots of it!

6. We were cleared for introducing a bottle at 3 weeks because we had to supplement and were using an SNS; but if we didn't have to supplement I'm not sure I would have started a bottle that early. If your husband wants to help out with feeding that means you have to pump to maintain supply. Is that really helping? (not in my book! I hate pumping). Give him diaper duty or something like that...that's helping! Also I think for the first 6 weeks just focus on breastfeeding and establishing supply. Don't worry about pumping yet (unless you need to increase supply, but that's a different story).

Finally, I highly recommend The Happiest Baby on the Block.

Good luck mama!

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone.
I think I will keep him in the bassinet for now since it works. It is perfectly safe I just wanted him to use the crib. Lol.

I'm going to try and wait at least 2 more weeks to introduce the bottle, which would make him 5 weeks at that point. That's also 2 weeks before we are going to a wedding where we will have a sitter for the night.

[Deleted]

My pedi told me to try to get him to take the bottle before 2 months, that it would just go easier that way and would get more difficult the longer I waited.

Pudding took it like a champ but he also takes a nubbie so the fake nipple thing wasn't weird to him at all.

[Deleted]

Also, be brave and try the bump. It's not as erm special as it used to be. Especially look into the drunk parenting board. They seem normal.

[Deleted]

He seems to hate swaddling, yet against me curls himself up. I'm Going to keep trying.

[heyjude]

May 16, 2012 20:02:09 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Also, be brave and try the bump. It's not as erm special as it used to be. Especially look into the drunk parenting board. They seem normal.

Agreed.

[heyjude]

May 16, 2012 20:11:22 GMT -5 @lauriergirl28 said:

He seems to hate swaddling, yet against me curls himself up. I'm Going to keep trying.

Everyone says this at first. They will love it.

[Deleted]

May 16, 2012 20:11:22 GMT -5 @lauriergirl28 said:

He seems to hate swaddling, yet against me curls himself up. I'm Going to keep trying.

Does he hate swaddling in that he protests and screams or just kicks off the blanket? If the latter, I'd say try the Halo Sleep Sacks for newborns and young babies. They worked beautifully for us, but I stopped using them when LilShirley found her hands and began to scoot all over the damn crib, for fear she would flip over onto her belly and not be able to flip back.

[Deleted]

Pudding didn't like swaddling but he loved being curled up against me so I let him sleep on his stomach. I totally understand if you aren't comfortable with that but it's what worked for all my babies.

[terpsfan]

SNUGGLE!!!!! And I usually wait 4 weeks for any sort of "other" nipple...bottle or paci. Neither of my kids took to a paci so don't take my word for that one if you want yours too. I was a nipple confusion freak though...

[JLN]

1- Get a rock nplay if you don't want him in the Dreami. Its cozy and you can easily move it from room to room.
And swaddling him will help him sleep.

2 - Try feeding him in only his diaper. It will help keep him awake and eating more.

3- oh the noises! I remember those. For P it ended at about 6 weeks.

4- I wouldn't wake him unless Dr tells you to.

5- He cant form habits yet. Get in all the snuggle you can now because it wont last forever.

6- I've heard 4 to 6 weeks.

[pescalita]

They hate the act of getting swaddled, but they'll often like it once they're all cozy, if they can settle down. We tried to swaddle A arms out for awhile because he fought it so hard, but he would startle an flail his arms and wake himself up. The Velcro did the trick.

FWIW, I don't mind pumping terribly, and it was worth it to me to a) get a break, b) give MrP a chance to feed (once he was back to work I was "off" as soon as he came home, and c) know he was fine taking a bottle when he needed to later. What wasn't helpful was MrP taking the feedings overnight. By the time he got the bottle and warmed it, A was pretty upset, and he wouldn't go right back to sleep afterward like he would after nursing. I was awake just the same, and more stressed out because I wasn't doing anything.

I think it's just one of those things you have to figure out what works for you.

[karinothing]

I just wanted to say one thing about the bottle. It isn't so much nipple confusion that you have to worry about but rather the baby is best at building your supply. Your supply becomes regulated at around 6 weeks. So pumping before then (assuming you don't have to pump for some reason) could lead to an oversupply (pumping makes you think you need more milk than you do) or a low supply (since the pump isn't as efficient).

[jlt19]

ETA: that was annoying how it posted!

1.No advice, but I think I'd let him sleep where he wants at this point. We had DD in her crib from day 1. The miracle blanket truly is a miracle.

2. That sounds normal to me, just keep doing what you're doing.

3. Best advice I got from my pedi, turn off the monitor. You will hear him when he needs you (provided your rooms are close enough). But, agaiin I will say that's b/c we put DD in her nursery from night 1.

4. I'd ask your pedi. I think mine said 5 hours, but DD was growing REALLY well.

5. I wouldn't worry about developing the habit just yet. Maybe around 2-3 months. DH napped after work every day with DD on his chest for as long as he could.

6.I think if you start off with only 1 bottle a day, even as early as 2 weeks (provided bfing is going well) will be safe.

You sound like you're doing really well. Keep it up!

[Deleted]

Ok, I have to say THANK YOU for the swaddling advice.
I swaddled last night using the 'swaddle me' or whatever it is with velcro and he slept from 1130 till 4am!! Those 4.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep were BLISS.

He's past his birth weight according to his check up this am so there is no way in hell I'm going to wake him up when he's sleeping. LOL. I will feed extra during the day if I need to.

The biggest reason I haven't put him in his crib or his own room is because he doesn't really cry when he wants to be fed, just makes sucking noises. And i've been told its a pain in the ass when they DO start to cry....so should I just move him to his own room, turn off the monitor and wait for a cry? Cause if i use a monitor i will still hear the crying.

[caden]

I'm late to this post but I thought I'd add my 2 cents:

1) There's no magic answer. My kids hated sleeping anywhere for the first few weeks of life and then one day they liked it. Nothing was changed except they figured out they were supposed to be really sleepy when it got dark out. I would just keep trying every few days and if not, then keep using the travel bed until safety makes you find something else.

2) I had to work REALLY hard at keeping my preemies awake for a full feed. I would completely undress them mid-feed, wipe a wet washcloth on their faces, feed in a bright room. Whatever worked. I'd much rather go through that work than feed, put them to sleep and wake back up in 10min. It won't be too much longer where he'll have enough energy to stay awake and you won't have to work as hard. In fact soon he'll go from sleeping too much to "Why won't you friggen fall asleep?".

3) No it doesn't stop. White noise machine FTW.

4) That's a question for your doc.

5) He's probably too young to form habits, but you're not. The problem with this is that this will work well and then you'll be fearful to try anything else b/c you know it won't work. Keep that in mind if you're still doing this (or rocking, or whatever other sleep prop) weeks from now b/c at that point he probably will have formed the habit. At <2 weeks, you're fine. Whatever works is good. But I promise your life will be SO much easier when he figures out how to fall asleep drowsy but awake so don't give up on it long-term. (See "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" for more on this; it saved my sanity).

6) Don't know.

[knittable]

May 17, 2012 12:09:51 GMT -5 @lauriergirl28 said:

The biggest reason I haven't put him in his crib or his own room is because he doesn't really cry when he wants to be fed, just makes sucking noises. And i've been told its a pain in the ass when they DO start to cry....so should I just move him to his own room, turn off the monitor and wait for a cry? Cause if i use a monitor i will still hear the crying.

Yes, it's a pain to feed them when they get worked up, and it is 100% awesome to feed him at the hunger sign you've noticed during the day. But. If you're only half sleeping while listening out for those sucking sounds at night you're going to be a zombie. And more and more as he gets bigger he'll just stir in his sleep, make some random sounds and go back to sleep again. It is OK to put him a bit further away from you so only sounds that really mean "I really need you!" are heard. It's also OK to be woken by a sound and lie there and listen and wait for them to become needy (with mine pitch was a great indicator of whether they were just making sounds or whether they needed someone). I look at it this way, if they are fine without me during the night, I want to allow them to continue to be fine without me, instead of teaching them to need me.

[knittable]

May 16, 2012 19:17:19 GMT -5 @lauriergirl28 said:

Thanks everyone.
I think I will keep him in the bassinet for now since it works. It is perfectly safe I just wanted him to use the crib. Lol.

I'm going to try and wait at least 2 more weeks to introduce the bottle, which would make him 5 weeks at that point. That's also 2 weeks before we are going to a wedding where we will have a sitter for the night.

Don't wait. Really. Google while you're nursing for "my baby won't take a bottle" stories/threads. The common thread is waiting until after three weeks.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 5:50:13 GMT -5 karinothing said:

I just wanted to say one thing about the bottle. It isn't so much nipple confusion that you have to worry about but rather the baby is best at building your supply. Your supply becomes regulated at around 6 weeks. So pumping before then (assuming you don't have to pump for some reason) could lead to an oversupply (pumping makes you think you need more milk than you do) or a low supply (since the pump isn't as efficient).

I had engorgement at the start so I got a pump, but I only used it enough to make me comfortable, and my supply seems to be ok now with regards to how much he eats. I'm WAY more comfortable.

I still hate breastfeeding, I really do.

now I'm tempted to start the bottle sooner rather than later. I guess the hesitation is just that i will still have to pump, possibly in the middle of the night, so that doesn't really get me any more sleep. BUT it would be so nice to be able to have DH feed him sometimes. Would give me more freedom so I don't feel so trapped to this kids schedule!

[heyjude]

If you can figure how not to feel trapped as a breastfeeding mama please let me know. B/c in my mind whether pumping or nursing I'm always bound to her feeding schedule. At this point I have just succumbed to this reality but in the beginning I really felt like my time was never my own. Periods of not nursing were just countdowns to nursing. And I fought this a bit.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 13:16:27 GMT -5 heyjude said:

If you can figure how not to feel trapped as a breastfeeding mama please let me know. B/c in my mind whether pumping or nursing I'm always bound to her feeding schedule. At this point I have just succumbed to this reality but in the beginning I really felt like my time was never my own. Periods of not nursing were just countdowns to nursing. And I fought this a bit.

That's precisely hoW I feel. Honestly? I swear ppd is tied to bfing, at least for me. I think I'd be happier if I wasn't bfing. But I'm gonna stick with it,

[EloiseWeenie]

If it makes you feel better, I hated bfing my first. I nursed for 6 months, pumped for 2 months, then my milk dried up one night while on vacation. I was done mentally, and my body made the final decision for me.

Now I'm 7.5 months in to ebf my daughter. It is totally different experience. I wouldn't say I like it, but I definitely don't hate it. It's easy and it's free (because that's my main reason I do it). I really don't mind feeding her, and I don't dread the nursing sessions (unless it's the middle of the night- but she's not pulling that trick anymore). It helps that she isn't an aggressive eater like my son was, and she eats fast.

swaddling is magical- Don't worry about when to stop swaddling, the baby will let you know.

[heyjude]

It will get better, I promise. Your child will eventually look at you with his beautiful eyes and give you a smile while nursing and it will melt your heart. And soon he will start to develop his sweet baby chub and you can say "I did that." And it will all be worth it. At least thats been my experience.

BFIng is so hard and emotional at first in ways they don't really prepare for. But it will totally get better!! I'm so glad I stuck with it despite our early challenges. Good luck!!