So, DH and I came to his hometown two days ago to check on how his mom was doing. She's not been well.
As things turned out when we arrived, she was _really_ not doing well. She passed away last night.
We went to the hospital when they called to say she had stopped breathing and they were trying to bring her back, and were there by the time the doctor came out to say they were not able to do so.
DH still hasn't been able to reach his siblings. It looks like making arrangements is all going to fall on him. He's doing (mostly) OK, or at least as OK as you can be in this situation.
Does anyone have any words of advice? A friend of ours is part of a family-run funeral home, so we have made arrangements to have her body transported there, but otherwise, I have no clue what else is all going to happen or need to be taken care of. We're slowly putting together a list.
We have been told she has a life insurance policy to cover the costs of her burial, but have no idea who it is with, or where she might have kept the papers. I don't think there is/was a will, which may complicate matters.
So sorry for your loss. Does she have bank statements you can look at to see which insurer she was with? Although, I have no idea how you access her bank information.
I'm sorry for your and his loss. I haven't been involved with that ever myself, but definately ask the funeral home friend for advice of things you may be forgetting as they deal with this all the time. They may have a checklist to be able to offer you of things to think about.
I'm sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice for you either, except maybe her bank statement would show an auto-withdrawal for the premiums for her life insurance (to maybe tell you at least which company?).
The funeral parlor should walk you through everything. They'll help you write the obit, pick out readings, songs for the service. Help you decide what kind of service as well as burial or creamation.
I would go through her firebox/safe etc anywhere the life insurance policy might be. Also check her check register / paid bills to see if you can atleast find who it is with by finding the check she paid to them or a copy of the bill.
I am so sorry for your loss. Once the funeral home has her information, they are typically really great at walking you through all the steps and things that need to be done. Life insurance premiums are typically paid monthy, right? Maybe you could go through her checkbook and see if any checks indicate what the life insurance company was?
I don't really have any advise, but I was also going suggest that perhaps the funeral home or someone in a similar position may be able to help with pulling together a list of what has to be done vs. what can wait?
I'm sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice for you either, except maybe her bank statement would show an auto-withdrawal for the premiums for her life insurance (to maybe tell you at least which company?).
The funeral home will be able to help you with a lot of it. They usually have a checklist that helps with things like putting an obituary in the local paper, arranging flowers, any donations people want to send. Big hugs.
When FIL passed unexpectedly we just looked through his apt for information regarding bank accounts and the like. Thankfully he had a planner with account numbers and passwords. It helped us get in touch with businesses to close his accounts. As far as the burial, we relied heavily on the funeral home to lead the way.
Post by njohnson1972 on Aug 20, 2012 9:13:14 GMT -5
I just buried my father last month.
He had no will and I am his only child. He had no spouse. I ended up paying for the funeral myself. It was around $10,000.
He did have a life insurance policy and some cash in a checking account, but I was not able to get them in time for the funeral since a death certificate is required. That is why I went ahead and paid for it. Basically, his estate will pay me back now that we have the death certificate which we can file with the courts. Since it all flows to me anyways, it is no big deal. But if they are siblings involved, you can still work it out so that the estate pays back for funeral expenses incurred by you or anyone else.
Post by littlemermaid on Aug 20, 2012 9:14:24 GMT -5
The funeral home should be able to help you with all of the funeral arrangements. I know they helped us with every last detail when my father passed away earlier this year. Definitely look through her check ledger to see who the insurance company may have been for the policy.
Post by dr.girlfriend on Aug 20, 2012 9:17:45 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss. Here is the big thread I had on the old board about funeral cost breakdowns for my MIL's funeral. The funeral director was really really nice, and walked us through pretty much everything. The only big expense we didn't do was some kind of reception afterwards. We just had people all go to the same restaurant and we picked up most of the tabs.
When my Grandpa died I helped my mom with the arrangements. Luckily, my grandpa let us know where all his paperwork was so we could start contacting the proper people. I agree with the PPs who mentioned the funeral parlor and visiting her bank. You'll be able to get a list of her reoccurring charges, current balance, etc. The funeral parlor should also have a checklist type thing with information on who to call or where to start looking. Finally, if it's an option visit her place and thumb through her mail/files, etc.