Ugh dw is not budging

[ssg73]

So I had made up this whole scenario about how dw found out the sex of the baby on Monday and was semi convinced that she was going to surprise me yesterday. Dw is super creative with surprises so I was pumped. Dd watched the American girl movie the other day and was obsessed with trying French macaroons. So dw was stopping at a bakery last night to get some. In my stupid head I convinced myself that she was going to bring home either pink or blue ones to surprise me. So I open the box....chocolate and vanilla????no cute sunrise for me. Am I the only one not in agreement about this with their spouse??

We talked this morning. I even told her my woeful macaroon tale and she still isn't budging. I am being held on team green against my will. Oh and there is no way I could know and dw not know. I would screw that up in no time flat.

[shoeless]

I'm sorry. I would be sooo frustrated in your position! Has she explained why she wants to be team green? Not that there is a right or wrong way, just that maybe focusing on her thought process might make it easier to go without knowing. Vice versa, have you been able to present your case on why you would like to know sooner than later (think of the fights on names you'll save if you only have to deal with one sex )

I'm sympathetic since I can't imagine not finding out the first moment I can!

[Muddled]

Lol. Just accept it.


We weren't in total agreement at first. I was surprised that he actually closed his eyes when instructed during the A/S. He's come around to my side. Why does it really matter anyhow? You will love that kid just the same either way.

[CrazyLucky]

Haha, DH was with me on team green for the first kid. Then for the second, he really wanted to know and I really did not. I gave in and told him he could ask the ultrasound tech if he wanted to, but he didn't. I think he realized it was more important to me than to him. I thought it was fun to not know, to get to think about having another boy or a boy and a girl. I liked thinking of both sets of names. And I really liked not having 15000 pink ruffly dresses before she was born. Of course, within a couple of weeks, we had 15000 pink ruffly dresses, but what are ya gonna do?

[cactuscookie]

Ugh! The curiosity would drive me crazy. Did you find out with your daughter? If so, maybe it's fair that you compromise and stay Team Green for this one.

[ssg73]

It doesn't matter other than I would start selling clothes if it is a boy. We didn't find out with dd (although a nurse slipped at the hospital when I was there before delivery so we kind of knew but at that point we were just trying to survive and it was anticlimactic). Dw just thinks this the only good surprise left in the world so she wants that. I think she is hoping to have that magical moment in the delivery room since last time suck balls.
I get it but being the "other mother" I don't get to experience as much. I guess it would make I more real for me.

[Muddled]

Aug 12, 2015 8:03:24 GMT -5 CrazyLucky said:

And I really liked not having 15000 pink ruffly dresses before she was born. Of course, within a couple of weeks, we had 15000 pink ruffly dresses, but what are ya gonna do?

This is how I originally convinced him.

We just won't mention that second part. Lol.

[bcarp30]

You make up those ideas just like I do! And then I get disappointed when DH doesn't do this idea I thought he would do!

I feel like there has to be a compromise. What if you guys find out but don't tell anyone else? There's no way I could wait so I'm team SSG here!

[Muddled]

I'm sorry you are feeling somewhat removed from the pregnancy. Soon you will be able to have your hand on her belly to feel all the rolls and kicks.

[loira]

Sorry you're stuck wondering. Maybe this way you get the fun of anticipating 2 separate scenarios, life with a boy or life with another girl. Anyway, it can only be one or the other, it's not as if there are multiple options.

[anna7602]

Aug 12, 2015 9:05:56 GMT -5 loira said:

Sorry you're stuck wondering. Maybe this way you get the fun of anticipating 2 separate scenarios, life with a boy or life with another girl. Anyway, it can only be one or the other, it's not as if there are multiple options.

This, definitely. Also, I've had a lot of macarons in my life and can't say that I've ever seen a blue one, so it seems like you could only pick this baked good as a baby's sex announcement if you had reason to buy pink ones. 

[ssg73]

This is all true and at least I have macaroons to eat to ease my pain.

[boiler717]

Oh man that's tough. I can see both of your points -- she wants the experience she didn't get before, you want to feel more connected to the pregnancy. I think they are both good reasons. Can you agree to table for a month or two then talk more? Maybe she would agree to a big reveal celebration or at that point you may feel more connected?

[swiftlyirun]

We're in the same boat- DH wanted to know but I convinced him it was better not to know. However at the NT scan this morning I got the feeling he was 2 seconds from asking the tech if she could tell.

I just keep reminding him that it will be way better not to have gender neutral stuff/too many "suggestions" on names from family. It's easier to deflect if we dont know.