Time for a new weekly check in! 8/24

[ssg73]

Maryellen I am glad you got some good news. I am sorry this has been such a roller coaster.

[boiler717]

I'm sorry Muddled. I hope it improves soon.

[swiftlyirun]

FX for you maryellen!

Not much new here- we have finally told most friends and family the exciting news!

Anyone have experience with body pillows? I've been having major back pain and not sleeping well. The other weekend I started with a regular body pillow MIL gave me which didn't work well for me, so I picked up the boppy sleep pillow with detachable parts (great in theory but none of the parts stay velcroed even for 2 seconds!) and that went back, so I picked up the "big boy" back and bump pillow, but it feels too short and almost like it's strangling my 5'8 frame.

My last option is the snoogle (s/p?) any luck with that one? My main issue is my back right now but I'm hoping to have something that will support my (eventual) bump too!

I DO like that the back-and-bump pillow kept me elevated b/c I think it helped with my congestion, so I'm a bit torn there. So.many.decsions.

[cactuscookie]

Aug 25, 2015 4:59:11 GMT -5 Muddled said:

My back. There is nothing I can do for it.

Hugs. My back is starting to be just a little sore, and it really worries me for the next five months.

I've lost track, when are you due? Another month or so?

[lms]

Whew! No pregnancy test today. I have an appointment to see an OB nurse on Monday. I guess she'll be the one to schedule me with the actual dr.

[Muddled]

Aug 25, 2015 9:56:38 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Aug 25, 2015 4:59:11 GMT -5 Muddled said:

My back. There is nothing I can do for it.

Hugs. My back is starting to be just a little sore, and it really worries me for the next five months.

I've lost track, when are you due? Another month or so?

Yup. One more month. It's hard to imagine that this kid can actually get bigger in there. There is no room left!

[G22]

Aug 25, 2015 9:52:23 GMT -5 swiftlyirun said:

FX for you maryellen!

Not much new here- we have finally told most friends and family the exciting news!

Anyone have experience with body pillows? I've been having major back pain and not sleeping well. The other weekend I started with a regular body pillow MIL gave me which didn't work well for me, so I picked up the boppy sleep pillow with detachable parts (great in theory but none of the parts stay velcroed even for 2 seconds!) and that went back, so I picked up the "big boy" back and bump pillow, but it feels too short and almost like it's strangling my 5'8 frame.

My last option is the snoogle (s/p?) any luck with that one? My main issue is my back right now but I'm hoping to have something that will support my (eventual) bump too!

I DO like that the back-and-bump pillow kept me elevated b/c I think it helped with my congestion, so I'm a bit torn there. So.many.decsions.

I have a king sized memory foam pillow (so essentially body pillow length) that I've been using and its the perfect fit for me. The memory foam keeps it fuller so it doesn't squish too thin and do nothing for me. I had it prior to pregnancy and used it between my knees then anyways.

I borrowed my SILs snoogle when we visited last month and just couldn't get the hang of it. I move around and roll from side to side a lot at night, and it just got in my way more than it helped. I found myself fighting it a few times to position it properly. If I moved less at night, I might have like it better.

[G22]

Aug 25, 2015 4:59:11 GMT -5 Muddled said:

maryellen, I can't imagine all the emotion! I hope your fetus continues to grow.



My back. There is nothing I can do for it.

I'm sorry friend. I hope it eases up on you. I had back pain for a couple days last week and I was miserable because nothing helped. Turns out mine was related to a UTI, but still it sucked.

[boiler717]

I love my leach and co back and belly pillow! It's amazing. It supports both.
My back also hurts. I've been getting massages every 3 weeks. I stretch every morning and night and can definitely tell if I skip a session. I'm wearing a support belt 24/7 too.

[dollyllama]

That's great maryellen. Grow baby grow!
We've got our 16w appointment on Friday and leave straight from there to go out of town for the weekend.
We bought a doppler over the weekend after a Friday night panic attack and I am having a hard time being convinced that I've found anything but placenta but DH is certain it's been baby.
I know everyone is different but when do you feel like your anxiety tapered off? I tell myself leading up to every appointment that I'll be calmer after ____ appointment and it doesn't happen. Of course after my OB told me all the risks of pregnancy axiety, I have anxiety about being anxious and am wondering if it's time to think about meds or if it'll get better soon. (Sorry for the wall of text)

[pooh8402]

dollyllama, my anxiety tapered off once I started feeling him. I would say that my highest amount of anxiety was between the NT scan (because my first tri symptoms were gone) and the anatomy scan (because I started feeling him for sure that day). so those 8 weeks were rough. I used the doppler at work a couple of times.

[bcarp30]

dollyllama watch some YouTube videos and they will show you how to use the doppler and what the different sounds are!

With DD my anxiety never tapered off. I had the normal first tri PGAL anxiety and then concerns about a late loss. I don't think it helped that DD had so many random issues (placenta previa, fetal arrhythmia, and a pre-term labor scare at 20 weeks. But she had me come in every 2 weeks to gauge how I was feeling and keep an eye on my anxiety. Would they be willing to do that? We also set up a similar plan for this pregnancy and her theory was pregnancy is more about managing the mother's anxiety to make the baby healthy.

Hugs to you!!

[dollyllama]

Aug 26, 2015 10:39:11 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

dollyllama, my anxiety tapered off once I started feeling him. I would say that my highest amount of anxiety was between the NT scan (because my first tri symptoms were gone) and the anatomy scan (because I started feeling him for sure that day). so those 8 weeks were rough. I used the doppler at work a couple of times.

This is so helpful to hear! I was so sure I'd start to have a handle on it after the NT scan but it got worse so I've been feeling like it won't ever get better.

[dollyllama]

bcarp30 DH and I were just talking about doing appointments every 3 weeks because I am usually okay for the first week and a half and week 2-3 I start getting ramped up and am a disaster week 3-4. We watched quite a few YouTubes which makes dh certain we've heard baby, he's more confident distinguishing them. I'm going to try using the headphones today to see if that helps.

[cactuscookie]

Aug 26, 2015 10:29:15 GMT -5 dollyllama said:

I know everyone is different but when do you feel like your anxiety tapered off? I tell myself leading up to every appointment that I'll be calmer after ____ appointment and it doesn't happen. Of course after my OB told me all the risks of pregnancy axiety, I have anxiety about being anxious and am wondering if it's time to think about meds or if it'll get better soon. (Sorry for the wall of text)

I do the same thing with telling myself (and DH) that I'll be calmer after each appointment, and then I am for a few days, and then the anxiety starts ramping up again. However, overall, I've relaxed more and more as time goes on, although some anxiety still flares up. I just wish she'd start moving so I could feel her regularly!

However, if you're concerned about the level of anxiety, I'd talk to your doctor and describe how you feel. She/he will be the best person to gauge what's "normal" and safe for you and the baby.

[KB]

dollyllama My anxiety has not gone down at all. I had my NT scan almost 2 weeks ago and haven't started feeling regular movement yet. I also haven't been able to find the baby on the doppler. I keep telling myself it's just this stage in pregnancy but I still freak a lot.

[G22]

My anxiety overall has been lower than I figured it would be. I think it tapered off around when I started feeling him move, which was around 18 weeks. And then especially after we had our anatomy scan and all came back ok. Now that I feel him, that's my daily reassurance and it makes me feel at ease for now.

[bcarp30]

dollyllama it might be worth it to ask them if they will do the appointments for you. I will say, for as anxious as I was while pregnant I have been so calm and laid back as a mom. It was like as soon as she was here, I had nothing to worry about. If you are still anxious for your pregnancy then I hope you are at least able to have that same experience!

[pooh8402]

Had my 6 week postpartum checkup today! Everything is all clear (dammit, dh will want some bow chicka bow wow). And I'm getting set up for an IUD in the next couple weeks--dh and I both know the stories about fertility being easier after IVF.

[belovedbride07]

I had my A/S yesterday at 18w4d and all looked good! We confirmed that Baby B is a girl, so it looks like we're getting one of each! We're thrilled!

Kicks/movements have become a lot more obvious, and DH and I saw movement from baby boy last night, and felt some strong kicks or punches! (Baby girl is farther back; her movements are still light, fluttery, is-that-gas?-like.)

[loira]

dollyllama, I'm not sure my anxiety will ever go away completely. It ramps up before appointments, after which I usually allow myself at couple of days of excitement. Mostly I try not to think about things. I feel baby move most mornings and evenings now, so that helps, but I feel like all the baby loss resources I read when we lost V mentioned so many different scenarios that I'm now nervous about all sorts of other stuff. The doctors at my hospital have been so good about not treating me like a crazy person, and explaining why X is unlikely (it's not enough to just tell me that it's unlikely). I hope I can find a doctor who's just as good in Canada.

[bcarp30]

maryellen when is your next scan? I've been thinking about you! Hope you're feeling okay!

[cactuscookie]

FWIW, I have a friend who had no history of losses and wasn't diagnosed IF (conceived on her 11th cycle trying, if I recall), and she said that her anxiety followed a pattern - relief after an appointment lasting until about halfway to the next appointment, then slowly ramping up in anxiety until the appointment, and then starting all over again.

So some level of anxiety is normal. Which doesn't make it any easier to deal with. And of course, our level of anxiety is probably greatly increased (some more than others) by what we had to do to get here.

[cactuscookie]

Aug 27, 2015 8:24:36 GMT -5 loira said:

dollyllama, I'm not sure my anxiety will ever go away completely. It ramps up before appointments, after which I usually allow myself at couple of days of excitement. Mostly I try not to think about things. I feel baby move most mornings and evenings now, so that helps, but I feel like all the baby loss resources I read when we lost V mentioned so many different scenarios that I'm now nervous about all sorts of other stuff. The doctors at my hospital have been so good about not treating me like a crazy person, and explaining why X is unlikely (it's not enough to just tell me that it's unlikely). I hope I can find a doctor who's just as good in Canada.

I just read a random blog entry about a terrible way that a pregnancy ended. Why why why did I read that? Now I have one more thing to worry about.

[loira]

Aug 27, 2015 9:53:13 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Aug 27, 2015 8:24:36 GMT -5 loira said:

dollyllama, I'm not sure my anxiety will ever go away completely. It ramps up before appointments, after which I usually allow myself at couple of days of excitement. Mostly I try not to think about things. I feel baby move most mornings and evenings now, so that helps, but I feel like all the baby loss resources I read when we lost V mentioned so many different scenarios that I'm now nervous about all sorts of other stuff. The doctors at my hospital have been so good about not treating me like a crazy person, and explaining why X is unlikely (it's not enough to just tell me that it's unlikely). I hope I can find a doctor who's just as good in Canada.

I just read a random blog entry about a terrible way that a pregnancy ended. Why why why did I read that? Now I have one more thing to worry about.

Don't send it to me! lol

Ugh, it's not like I go looking for this sort of thing. I don't do "research" on the internet, and I'm not someone who thinks woo and science are the same thing. But it's impossible not to come across these stories, and after what I've been through I know that anything can happen to anyone at any time. I suspect IF is similar in that it robs you of a certain amount of naïveté.

[G22]

Aug 27, 2015 9:51:24 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

FWIW, I have a friend who had no history of losses and wasn't diagnosed IF (conceived on her 11th cycle trying, if I recall), and she said that her anxiety followed a pattern - relief after an appointment lasting until about halfway to the next appointment, then slowly ramping up in anxiety until the appointment, and then starting all over again.

So some level of anxiety is normal. Which doesn't make it any easier to deal with. And of course, our level of anxiety is probably greatly increased (some more than others) by what we had to do to get here.

Pretty sure this is normal too. It seems we've all had vary degrees of this feeling on this board, but I'm sure its not just those who have trouble getting/staying pregnant. Which is comforting, because we're normal guys Its ok to feel some anxiety, pregnancy isn't a cake walk.

[cactuscookie]

Aug 27, 2015 10:05:32 GMT -5 loira said:

Aug 27, 2015 9:53:13 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

I just read a random blog entry about a terrible way that a pregnancy ended. Why why why did I read that? Now I have one more thing to worry about.

Don't send it to me! lol

Ugh, it's not like I go looking for this sort of thing. I don't do "research" on the internet, and I'm not someone who thinks woo and science are the same thing. But it's impossible not to come across these stories, and after what I've been through I know that anything can happen to anyone at any time. I suspect IF is similar in that it robs you of a certain amount of naïveté.

Yes, I'm purposefully avoiding any sort of research into things that could go wrong at this stage! I'm trying to bury my head in the sand as much as possible, but sometimes things pop up anyway.

I think the problem with IF, at least for me, is that there's just too much knowledge. Being surrounded by a group of women going through a similar experience has been a hugely important source of support, but you also see people experience hardship in a variety of ways, so you know too many different ways that things could go wrong.

Plus, because it was so damn hard to get pregnant in the first place, the likelihood of "replacing" the pregnancy is low. I know that you know better than anyone, loira, that one pregnancy isn't replaceable with another, but I definitely have a 'this is my only shot at reproducing' fear.

[G22]

Aug 27, 2015 10:48:28 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Yes, I'm purposefully avoiding any sort of research into things that could go wrong at this stage! I'm trying to bury my head in the sand as much as possible, but sometimes things pop up anyway.

I can relate to this in a sense. I've reached the point of being close enough to actually having this baby, I don't want to read up on anything labor related right now. I realize he has to come out, but I'm genuinely terrified of having a C-section (mostly due to controlling my anxiety during it). So my solution is to just pretend everything will go as planned and not read up on scary stories. I know if it comes to that, that adrenaline and a desire for him to be safe will win over and I'll do whatever is best. But it stresses me out reading about labor stories gone differently than planned for now.

[maryellen]

Aug 27, 2015 8:31:44 GMT -5 bcarp30 said:

maryellen when is your next scan? I've been thinking about you! Hope you're feeling okay!

Thank you! It is tomorrow morning at 9:15. I have been a bit nervous all week and am having a hard time staying positive. But I am exhausted and have some other symptoms so I'm hoping things look good. I'm 8w today - I can't believe this back and forth has been going on for 4 weeks.

[maryellen]

Aug 27, 2015 10:48:28 GMT -5 cactuscookie said:

Aug 27, 2015 10:05:32 GMT -5 loira said:

Don't send it to me! lol

Ugh, it's not like I go looking for this sort of thing. I don't do "research" on the internet, and I'm not someone who thinks woo and science are the same thing. But it's impossible not to come across these stories, and after what I've been through I know that anything can happen to anyone at any time. I suspect IF is similar in that it robs you of a certain amount of naïveté.

Yes, I'm purposefully avoiding any sort of research into things that could go wrong at this stage! I'm trying to bury my head in the sand as much as possible, but sometimes things pop up anyway.

I think the problem with IF, at least for me, is that there's just too much knowledge. Being surrounded by a group of women going through a similar experience has been a hugely important source of support, but you also see people experience hardship in a variety of ways, so you know too many different ways that things could go wrong.

Plus, because it was so damn hard to get pregnant in the first place, the likelihood of "replacing" the pregnancy is low. I know that you know better than anyone, loira, that one pregnancy isn't replaceable with another, but I definitely have a 'this is my only shot at reproducing' fear.

I think this is exactly it. And I think this is why I'm so bitter sometimes. I have a neighbor who is in my bunco group who just had her third. She was mad because she got pregnant on her second cycle trying when the first cycle would have been much better timing. And she announced to the world at 6 weeks. I wish I was "normal" and hadn't even had my first u/s yet - then I wouldn't have known everything I learned over the past 4 weeks and would just be blissfully pregnant. I wonder what it's like to just be pregnant and not worry.