Monday randoms

[Deleted]

Good morning! Trying to eat my breakfast before everything gets crazy here. One of my coworkers is on vacation and management fails to get coverage so it's going to be an overwhelming 2 weeks.

I'm feeling a little anxiety today. I think I have a ton of "what ifs" floating around in my head in reference to our possible relocation. I have so much paperwork to do for my job license before I can actually apply to any positions. I tend to get myself all worked up over these things. I just keep trying to tell myself that I'll end up where I'm supposed to be.....it's not working so far!!!! Lol.

[bl]

There is a concert I would really like to go to on Wed night, but I don't have anyone to go with. I am really tempted to go by myself, but it is downtown (which already gives me anxiety), a very high energy rap concert, and all general admission, so I won't have a seat to just chill in by myself. I am worried it will be so awkward and I won't be able to enjoy the show, but then I also think everyone will be paying attention to the show and not to me and it might be fine.

[Deleted]

I had a great second date last night! I'm super swooney. We cooked dinner together then ate it on my buildings roof top deck. Then we watched a movie and he introduced me to a new TV show. He was really sweet and gave me a good night kiss and snuggled while watching the movie but didn't try to make any moves. We also have great conversation and so much in common! Someone I can cook with, chat politics with and watch stupid comedies with? Sign me up!

[GilliC]

I spent a bunch of time last week going through my bookshelves finding things to get rid of, because I'm trying to reduce the amount of "stuff" I own. I managed to empty an entire shelf, which I moved out of the living room. However, I feel like the space is kind of empty now. Then my friend came over and said, "What happened to the rest of the books? It looked better with more books."

So now I'm thinking that when I get home, I will be moving the bookcase back and unpacking the box full of books I was planning to give away.

[glynn]

Down 57 pounds since 12/1. I was stuck at 50 for so long but the last 2 weeks have been great. Possible new guy makes me eat better  or less.

[Deleted]

Feel better inara!

[pantsoffdanceoff]

It's been a crazy day so far at work.

I went to Bar Method this morning so I'm feeling good that I already got a workout out of the way.

I went over to my hookup's place (I need a nickname for him) to "Netflix and chill" last night. It was a good time but he keeps wanting me to spend the night which I just cannot do because of my dog. And honestly, I don't want to. I want to go home and sleep in my own bed ALONE. 

[jojoandleo]

pantsoffdanceoff-Let's call him "NAC" (Netflix And Chill guy. )

I think I am living in sort of denial that I am moving this weekend. Probably because I'm not REALLY fully moving. I'm moving clothes and shit, really.

H was annoying again. he thinks we need to fucking TIER the backyard for our house to sell. Our house is on a hill, and the dogs have destroyed the yard, but REALLY!?! NO! Get some dirt to fill in the holes and throw down some sod. He's acting like we need to rebuild our entire fucking house. STAHP, H. Stop. His dad is firmly team Jojo. AND he was like, "If you insist on tiering it, I'll bring all my shit and we can do it in a weekend." (His dad has a farm and he has built his own a-frame home and stuff. He is VERY handy. I also have very hand friends who could help. BUT, I think he is being stupid.)

I really want to bring at least my dog with me, but I will be living with a friend with a dog who doesn't like most other dogs. That's the saddest part for me and the reason I may find a place to stay sooner rather than later.

[calle28]

Congrats glynn! What a great accomplishment.

[bl]

jojoandleo I liked for the nickname, not the rest. Have you tried introducing your dog with the other just to see? I am sure being away at first will be hard enough it would be nice to have a little buddy with you.

[jojoandleo]

Aug 24, 2015 11:08:58 GMT -5 bl said:

jojoandleo I liked for the nickname, not the rest. Have you tried introducing your dog with the other just to see? I am sure being away at first will be hard enough it would be nice to have a little buddy with you.

The pup has been to our place, BUT he was around BOTH our big dogs (he's a little wiener dog), so, that ups the intimidation factor. I may ask her if I can bring him up this weekend to see...

[stephreloaded]

Aug 24, 2015 9:41:49 GMT -5 GilliC said:

I spent a bunch of time last week going through my bookshelves finding things to get rid of, because I'm trying to reduce the amount of "stuff" I own. I managed to empty an entire shelf, which I moved out of the living room. However, I feel like the space is kind of empty now. Then my friend came over and said, "What happened to the rest of the books? It looked better with more books."

So now I'm thinking that when I get home, I will be moving the bookcase back and unpacking the box full of books I was planning to give away.

I tend to give away books after I read them. I tend to not re-read books and I am glad that someone else can get to enjoy them . I am also ruthless when getting rid of stuff. 

[bl]

glynn congrats on the weight loss

I bought a ticket to the concert, and am going to give it a try. If I find someone between now and Wed to go with that will be great, but I am going either way. If my anxiety gets too out of control or I hate it, I can always leave and it was only $30 wasted. I looked up the setlist and there are only 3 songs I don't know which is always nice. Right now I am excited, but also start to turn red (this is a symptom of my anxiety) when I talk about it lol.

[Deleted]

bl, now I'm curious. That totally sounds like my type of concert. Off to google.

[bl]

Aug 24, 2015 13:32:11 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

bl, now I'm curious. That totally sounds like my type of concert. Off to google.

It's MGK, I saw him back in 2012 and he puts on a really good energetic show. 

[Deleted]

Yeah, he's here tomorrow night but I'm too old to go out like that on a school night. I think my cane would trip the younguns in the crowd.

[bl]

It will be an extra coffee kind of Thur morning for sure. I definitely will not be in the front where I assume will be kind of moshy because I am too old for that, but hanging out by the bar doesn't sound like an awful idea.

[bg]

You should totally go bl!!! I think you're correct that people'll be paying attention to the concert and not you -- that's been my experience as well.

Great job glynn!

This is the last week of teaching for me. I'm excited to wrap things up and start writing again. I never thought I would actually say that!

[jigsy]

I just read this article - zenhabits.net/a-guide-to-beating-the-fears-that-are-holding-you-back/

Which has given me a little push. I realized recently that my fear of not being good enough is holding me back from doing a lot of things. I want to try to overcome that because it is stupid. I realize this. But easier said then done, right?

Until then, I read articles that pump me up a little.

[jigsy]

Since it is slow, I will provide some fodder...so last week, I texted Vegas. Since then we have been exchanges texts every few days or so. After a pep talk from a friend, I decided I would ova up and see if he wanted to hang out again since he wasn't really saying it, but was texting, so yeah...basically, I don't really need a pen pal. I don't deal with it from online dates, certainly won't deal with it from this guy who claims to hate texting anyways.

So I asked...

And his response was "I think that would be fun, but I just haven't been feeling well (he has an ongoing medical issue) and work has really got me down, honestly, I think I am a little depressed so I wouldn't be very good company"

Ultimate It's not you, its me?

FTR, there is a little more after this point, but I wanted to see if I did the "right" thing ("right" because I did what I did, and whatever, whatever, I do what I want.)

And again...it's slow...so I am posting shit I probably normally wouldn't.

So there.

[jojoandleo]

Well, it's not like you did something wrong in the immoral or legal sense, but I don't think it was healthy. I think this guy has made it clear he can't or isn't willing to give you what you want. The continued conversation is an ego boost to him and keeping you feeling things for him. I think to really move on from this guy and be happy and healthy, you need to stop.

I did stuff like this a long time ago. I built a guy up in my head to be better than he was and pined after him. I made myself available to him. In the end, he used that and left me with less self-esteem than I had to begin with. I get his responding gives you a self-esteem boost, because he likes you enough to respond, but the fact is- he cannot give you what you need now. Move on. He's not all you have built him up to be. Easier said than done, I know, but I promise when you look back on this in a year you will be all "what did I see in that douche!?!"

[Deleted]

I'm a newbie, so I hesitate to jump in where I'm not known well, but I just have to agree with jojoandleo. I've been there, too. A guy I was crazy about was too depressed to give me what I needed, but obviously still wanted me around/enjoyed having me available. I agreed to be "friends" (aka; support him while he bitched about life but was never there for me), and it just made everything so much more painful. Finally, after months of waiting for him to get better, I told him to step up or get out. He chose to get out, because it was "bad timing" for him. He strung me along and told me I would always be the one that got away. It was torture. But I eventually realized that he was never going to step up. And you don't need someone who is okay with taking from you knowing that they have nothing to give back. If you let him, he'll keep you around because he gets the fun part of relationship without any of the responsibilities. I may not know you, but I think you deserve more. For what it's worth.

[Deleted]

I'll second PP. I had a guy like this for about two years.
Including the going several months without texting.
Honestly my friends gave me tough love.
And I gave myself some.
The truth is I got tired of being used. I realized I was worth so much more. I stopped allowing myself any excuses to text him. And walking away from that has done enormous things to my self esteem. I'm so embarrassed for myself when I look back on it. It was then and there I said I would never chase a guy again and I haven't. It's been very freeing and had opened me up to healthier interactions. I haven't met "the one" and sure a guy I was dating ghosted me and it sucked. But I dealt with it all gracefully and with self respect. I walked away knowing I deserve more. And when that guy texted me a month later I was able to delete and move on. Bottom line ask yourself why invest energy into someone who won't invest in you? The reasons don't matter. He doesn't want to date you. Full stop. So don't waste your time and allow yourself to move on and be healthy. For me moving onto other men was not the cure. Being boy free for 8 months was. It allowed me to really love me and realize I don't take shit anymore. Because at the end of the day being alone with myself is way better than chasing someone. It was good to have that time of just no men. No texts to boost my esteem or distract me. No men to fall back on because I was bored. No men to comfort me. It was hard but then so so amazing.

[alleinesein]

bl Go and have fun!!  I go to concerts alone whenever someone I like is in town.  I've even traveled overseas to go to concerts by myself  Everyone will be paying attention to the performer and no one will notice you (unless you decide to be a stage invader or a crowd surfer).

I get to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night.  I like my dark little cave for sleeping; where I am at has lots of natural light and half the windows don't have curtains or blinds.  

I signed up for a Dinosaur Paleobiology class that starts next month.  I'm debating going back to school so its a good way to check out how science classes are being taught online.  I took a meteorology class online 10+ years ago and the course was structured well so I hope this one follows the same format.  

[GilliC]

Aug 24, 2015 12:25:23 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Aug 24, 2015 9:41:49 GMT -5 GilliC said:

I spent a bunch of time last week going through my bookshelves finding things to get rid of, because I'm trying to reduce the amount of "stuff" I own. I managed to empty an entire shelf, which I moved out of the living room. However, I feel like the space is kind of empty now. Then my friend came over and said, "What happened to the rest of the books? It looked better with more books."

So now I'm thinking that when I get home, I will be moving the bookcase back and unpacking the box full of books I was planning to give away.

I tend to give away books after I read them. I tend to not re-read books and I am glad that someone else can get to enjoy them . I am also ruthless when getting rid of stuff. 

Aside from guidebooks and industry-related textbooks, most of them were things I haven't read. I just assumed that with over 300 unread books on my Kindle, I might as well get rid of the stuff my parents have bought me that I'm probably never going to get around to.

I'm thinking that no one will really want a bunch of outdated Lonely Planet books though, so I'm considering committing book murder on them to make some catch-all storage for the living room.