Trailing Spouse

[crazygame]

Is being a trailing spouse an acceptable reason for a break in employment?

My husband has bounced around with respect to jobs since law school.   There is a good reason for each move, but I know that doesn't matter if you don't get to the interview phase to explain yourself.

My firm is allowing me to move to an office a few hours away, a move that my husband and I both really want to make.   My husband finding work over there may take a while and it will be really hard for him to take full days off from his current job to travel to interviews.  Does it make sense to just list our house and move when it sells? My husband could handle the move, stay home with the kids until we find a house and appropriate daycare, and look for work there once we have a local address.  

We could just stay where we are until he finds a job, as my firm has given me an open ended timeline. 

[dulcemariamar]

How hard will it be to find work? Is he okay at being home? Can you live off of your salary.

I hope it is okay because I am also a trailing spouse.

[hermione]

I think relocating is a fine reason for an employment gap. He doesn't have to say he's a "trailing spouse."

[hbomdiggity]

I think bouncing around in law is relatively common at this point.

I didn't respond to your earlier post, but I'd be inclined to move sooner rather than later since I'd be worried the firm would change their mind re letting you move.

[dcn]

We move a lot and I've never really had a problem explaining or finding a job. He can just say he's relocated.

[mswax]

As sexist as it sounds, I do think it's harder for men than for women. For this reason, I think your DH will do better to find a job out there before he leaves his current one.

Sorry...I know that's not the answer you want.

[crazygame]

Aug 27, 2015 10:26:46 GMT -5 dulcemariamar said:

How hard will it be to find work? Is he okay at being home? Can you live off of your salary.

I hope it is okay because I am also a trailing spouse.

I'm not sure if he would want to stay home. We are talking tonight and I was trying to figure out how I feel if he suggests moving before he finds a job.

We could live off my salary. I'm the primary breadwinner and he makes just a little more than daycare costs.

[crazygame]

Aug 27, 2015 12:36:36 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

I think bouncing around in law is relatively common at this point.

I didn't respond to your earlier post, but I'd be inclined to move sooner rather than later since I'd be worried the firm would change their mind re letting you move.

This has crossed my mind.

[crazygame]

Aug 27, 2015 12:50:13 GMT -5 mswax said:

As sexist as it sounds, I do think it's harder for men than for women. For this reason, I think your DH will do better to find a job out there before he leaves his current one.

Sorry...I know that's not the answer you want.

Thanks. I hadn't really thought of that.

[kershnic]

I mean, you never know what lurks in the minds of those interviewing him - some probably do judge a man moving for his wife even if they suck - but some won't. He can be vague and say he relocated for family reasons, or moved for his wife's job. He will want to emphasize that the move is permanent so they don't think he'll move again in a few years when you get another opportunity. I'd be concerned about waiting too long in case your employer rescinds the offer to move. I'd probably just take the chance and go, unless he's in a field where it will be really difficult to get a job and it is very important to him to continue working and working in that field.

[egishere]

We are dealing with this same scenario right now. I need to relocate and DH is looking for a job but doesn't have time either. Luckily my company is being flexible with me on the relo timeline. We are working on finding a headhunter to help with this - would that be an option?

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2015 12:50:13 GMT -5 mswax said:

As sexist as it sounds, I do think it's harder for men than for women. For this reason, I think your DH will do better to find a job out there before he leaves his current one.

Sorry...I know that's not the answer you want.

The opposite may be true if it works like job flexibility where studies show men are more likely to be granted flexible schedules and are perceived more positively for taking them.

As a hiring manager, people change jobs a lot these days. And a gap to relocate seems normal. Some HR groups don't even consider it an employment gap if it's less than 3 months.

[grosnl19]

I sure hope so, I have been one for the past 4 years and 4 months...and I have another 1 year left.

We moved overseas for DH's job so a bit different.

I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing for a short-term.