MOOKS: When did you child stop having accidents

[monsterz]

Jr is almost 7 and he still semi regularly has accidents because he waits too long to go to the bathroom.  It generally is because he doesn't want to take a break from the activity he is doing to go.   I try to keep a change of clothes in his back pack but lately he has been taking those out so he ends up at camp with nothing to change into. At what age do kids start listening to their body and going to the bathroom when they need to.   I should add that while he is almost 7 socially and emotionally he is more like 4 or 5 so I'm not sure if that is related. 

[asoctoberfalls]

DS only had a couple of accidents when he first potty trained around 3 years. He has not had any accidents in at least 9 months (he just turned 4). I would discuss with your pediatrician. I could definitely see this depending on your kid's personality, so I don't necessarily think it's something to worry about, but I would ask.

[savan]

DS is 8 1/2 and will still have the occasional accident. He also does not like to stop what he's doing and go to the bathroom. Now his accidents are usually him peeing on the bathroom floor because he was running inside at the last moment. There is nothing physically wrong with him. I maintain hope that eventually he's going to be horrified at the thought of his friends realizing he's had an accident and will be better motivated to make it to the bathroom on time.

[redpenmama]

DD is 4 and has had maybe 2-3 accidents in the last 6 months because she waited too long to go. Both times, she ended up peeing on the bathroom floor, so she almost made it.

Sorry you are dealing with accidents. Every kid is different. I'm sure it's frustrating.

[mlt]

DS1 is 4.5 and will have an accident maybe once a month? Every six weeks? Always when he is outside playing and doesn't want to stop what he's doing to come in and use the bathroom. We are working on it and the frequency has slowed. We have also been better about forcing him to take potty breaks.

[anna7602]

DD had some accidents in the early days whenever she was anxious about something- my being out of town, starting at a new school, but this all pretty much stopped by age 3.5 or 4. She had one accident this summer at age 7 when she was out riding a horse and literally couldn't get back to an area with bathrooms in time. I don't think accidents are very common in kids this age unless there are extenuating circumstances. I would talk to your pedi.

[madringal]

I agree that it's probably time to talk to
your pedi. DD is 7 and hasn't had a daytime accident in 3-4 years. She does have the occasional nighttime one, usually 1-2 a year.

[h]

How frustrating! I agree with mentioning it to the pedi if you haven't already.

DS2 turned 5 in April and has had two, maybe three, accidents that I can recall in the last year. Accidents were rare by the time he was 4. DS1 just turned 8, and I can't remember the last time he had an accident--probably 3-4 years ago.

[drloretta]

DD had pee accidents until about 3.5/4. She had poop regression last summer and we sorted it out when she was 3 months shy of 5. If your DS is emotionally more like a 4/5 year old, I can see why this might still be happening. I agree that getting your dr on board may be helpful. We took DD to see her dr when she was having the poop accidents, and the dr said she would get DD a prize when she stopped (after checking for other issues of course). That was a big deal to her. There may also be physical/maturity issues going on as well.

What worked for us was a sticker chart. If she went a day (then 2, then 3) without an accident she got to pick a prize at the dollar section at Target. That may be one approach.

[Marmee]

poop or pee accidents?

[dcrunnergirl52]

DD and DS1 are almost 5, and they have accidents maybe once every 3-4 months, usually on the playground when they don't stop playing. And, it's almost always at school where they are distracted by friends. I can't remember the last time they had an accident at home...maybe a year ago.

[mrshandy]

DS is 5 and has them once every few months.

[nessness]

I would talk to your pedi to rule out any medical causes. I would also talk to your son's camp counselors and ask them to remind him (discreetly) to go to the bathroom every hour or so.

[thatgirl2478]

oooh, yeah, that would be frustrating!  I would definitely take him to the Dr, that's not normal IMO.

My DD was trained by 3.5 and stopped having accidents about 2-3 months later.

[lizlemon19]

My 7yo has probably had 3 accidents (pee) in the past year. 2 were while sleeping in an unfamiliar place (a hotel and my aunt's), and one was at home when he just didn't make it inside on time. He also has a trauma history so often regresses in other ways around big changes.

If he is still 6, I don't think it is super-alarming just yet for a boy. However, the fact it is happening at camp concerns me a little just that he doesn't seem phased by being embarassed around peers. At that age kids usually start to care about that. I think it wouldn't hurt to talk to your pedi, but he may need discreet reminders.

[jeaniebueller]

Aug 27, 2015 21:51:43 GMT -5 monsterz said:

Jr is almost 7 and he still semi regularly has accidents because he waits too long to go to the bathroom.  It generally is because he doesn't want to take a break from the activity he is doing to go.   I try to keep a change of clothes in his back pack but lately he has been taking those out so he ends up at camp with nothing to change into. At what age do kids start listening to their body and going to the bathroom when they need to.   I should add that while he is almost 7 socially and emotionally he is more like 4 or 5 so I'm not sure if that is related. 

Can you get him a watch with a timer on it that beeps when he must use the bathroom? My niece had chronic UTIs and that is how they handled it. I would actually bring it up to his DC teachers and school teachers so that they know he must use the bathroom, even if he claims he doesn't need to. My DS will still argue about having to pee, even if he has to go, so I always warn grandparents when they take him overnight to make him go even if he claims he doesn't need to.

To answer your OP, my DS is almost 7 and periodically has an accident overnight.

[formerlyak]

DS had a few at 6 - maybe 2. They were at the start of the school year when he had to change to a new school (did kinder at one school and then moved in first grade). For him it was a combo of anxiety and not wanting to stop an activity. I started to a reward system where he got a marble each day he remembered to pee at either first recess or lunch. 30 marbles = day at Disneyland. never had a daytime accident after that.

[monsterz]

Aug 28, 2015 9:09:46 GMT -5 Marmee said:

poop or pee accidents?

They are mostly poop accidents.  He did have pee accidents earlier this year but hasn't had them in a long time.   This summer there have been about 4 poop accidents.

[savan]

Aug 28, 2015 13:38:11 GMT -5 monsterz said:

Aug 28, 2015 9:09:46 GMT -5 Marmee said:

poop or pee accidents?

They are mostly poop accidents.  He did have pee accidents earlier this year but hasn't had them in a long time.   This summer there have been about 4 poop accidents.

That changes things.  Is he constipated?  DS went through this 2 years ago.  I had absolutely no idea he was constipated until he began having poop accidents.  Turns out he had been severely constipated for months.  His accidents were poop oozing out around the blockage because he had lost control of his colon.  It took a lot of miralax and time to get it under control.  Google encopresis and see if that fits.  

[Marmee]

Aug 28, 2015 13:38:11 GMT -5 monsterz said:

Aug 28, 2015 9:09:46 GMT -5 Marmee said:

poop or pee accidents?

They are mostly poop accidents.  He did have pee accidents earlier this year but hasn't had them in a long time.   This summer there have been about 4 poop accidents.

Sorry to be graphic but is it liquid or solid? At that age, there is a good chance he's constipated & having encopresis & cannot control it. My middle 2 have suffered from this as late as 6yrs old. Does he wet the bed? This is another sign.

[jeaniebueller]

That is a great point about being constipated. OP, if you think that is the issue, start offering miralax every day until he gets into a regular pattern.

[auntie]

What Marmee said.

This sounds like it could be encopresis or that he's at risk of developing it. I'd start with your pedi.  

It can happen when kids don't listen to their body's signal to go to the bathroom for some reason- often because they are hyperfocused on something they're doing or have anxiety about going to the bathroom for some reason. This causes them to become impacted and over time lose some sensation of needing to go as well as control of the muscles involved. Full blown encopresis can take considerable time to cure and generally requires medication with a GI and behavior modification with a therapist.

You mentioned emotional and social immaturity; encopresis is surprisingly common among kids with ASDs; the hyperfocus, hypotonia and differences in sensory processing complicate tx if this is the case. 

[greycat]

This thread has been so helpful. My nephew has had some (poop) accidents lately. He's almost 8 and I wonder if he's dealing with econpresis too. I'll mention it to my SIL.