NCEPr: Dealing with a SIL with crazy diet restrictions

[picksthemusic]

I have this SIL (my DH's brother's wife), and she is on the crazy side of the fence. Not certifiable, but has some outlandish ideas about things. She has general anxiety/depression, and stomach issues (GERD/reflux).

She has been seeing an ND, and has been taking all sorts of crazy supplements (including a liquid $$$ Vitamin D supplement), gone gluten-free (due to a 'sensitivity'), and all-organic. Girl won't even eat corn. She is also borderline anti-vaxx due to 'ingredients' and refuses the flu shot (she has no real medical reason for not getting the flu shot). This is not to say she shouldn't have the choice to not get the flu shot, but it's in addition to all the other stuff she's doing. Plus she's all about essential oils and smells of them constantly.

Anyway, she is deaf and has been since birth. She had a severely dysfunctional childhood (complete with abuse), and has been mostly brought up by people with little to no education. She is one of those people who believes what she reads on R.ealF.armacy.com (ie INGREDIENTS!!!), and now that she's married to my BIL, it's creating chaos in the family. She has adopted all of these restrictions, and makes shopping/eating out/being together a PITA. She already treats waitstaff like scum, so I'm sure she's had her food tampered with. So now add to that lots of special requests and subs, I really don't want to be in public with her. She and BIL are on SS and SNAP, so this leaves little to no room for squandering money on organic/GF.

I'm not really looking for advice, more commiseration. I can't change her, I just want to shake her. She won't listen to anyone and gets miffed if you try to explain anything real to her or present actual scientific evidence. She just shuts down and won't talk to you (which is easy since she's deaf - she just won't sign or look at you).

UGH.

[ttt]

She sounds like a real treat.

"Oh no I'm sorry we won't be able to make it. Maybe we'll see you some other time." Rinse repeat.

[iammalcolmx]

I feel bad for her if she's sick and allergic to things. Treating wait staff badly would make me never go out to eat with her. You can accommodate her during family functions. Give her easy food simple to make. If she bugs you that much, be like"fuck this"

[Deleted]

Maybe food/health is the only thing she feels she can control.

[ECB]

I'd stop going out to eat with them, quite honestly. MOre due to the rudeness than anything else.

And when you are going to be having them over, I'd tell her in advance what the planned menu will be and what - in the realm of what you're already making- can you make for her.

If she finds issue with this, then I'd just tell her "Please feel free to bring your own food.".

[sushi]

Messalina! I love sue sue's names.

I'd just not go out to eat with her. She's welcome to bring whatever to my home. I guarantee it won't be as good as what I make

[aurora]

Sept 1, 2015 8:51:40 GMT -5 tillie said:

DH and I won't go eat with SIL. She is not allergic to anything and doesn't have any food intolerances, however, she cannot just order something off of the menu (or with maybe 1 or 2 small changes). Everything has to be soooooo complicated, and then of course they never get it "right." She will then call the waiter over and just complain in a whiny voice and send things back over and over again until it's to her liking. One time, after drinking more than half of it, she returned a frozen mudslide because it was melting. I can't make these things up!!

LOL!

Time to give her a tutorial on thermodynamics?