How did u feel about your toddler when you had another baby?

[luckyno7]

It's probably a combo of a lot of things....hormones, and lack of sleep on your part. My guess for him is he wants attention even if its negative attention.

My kids have been acting up more since having our third and I am way more short tempered due to lack of sleep.

H has been giving them more attention and they have been so much better.

Good luck!

[rootbeerfloat]

Normal. Hang in there.

[mainelyfoolish]

He's three years old, right? Three year old can be very...unpleasant.

[turtlegirl]

I definitely find myself being a tad short with the boys (especially the 3 year old), but I think it's just because I'm tired. And when I'm tired my patience is the first thing to go. I think the boys are overall adjusting pretty well and thier behavior is good, but when it's the end of the day and they stall even for a minute when brushing teeth, going potty, cleaning up, etc it gets on my nerves much quicker than when I was getting 8 hours of sleep a night.

But what I learned from when DS2 was born is just to not worry that much about letting things go around the house and use the tv as a babysitter without guilt. At least for the first few months. It may feel like you'll never get back to "normal", but everyone will adjust and find a new routine/new normal after 4 or 5 mobths.

[sjh722]

It was awful. So, so, so awful. I'm sorry. I'll see if I can dig up my post about it.

I did end up on Zoloft, I don't know if the PPD made it seem worse than it really was...but all of my friends said 1 to 2 sucked.

((Hugs)). It gets better.

[swank]

I'm not ashamed to admit that the iPad did a lot of parenting those first few weeks. This all sounds normal to me and I think it takes everyone a while to adjust.

Hugs.

[sjh722]

Sept 1, 2015 22:58:16 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Sept 1, 2015 22:57:07 GMT -5 swank said:

I'm not ashamed to admit that the iPad did a lot of parenting those first few weeks. This all sounds normal to me and I think it takes everyone a while to adjust.

Hugs.

We normally reserve the iPad for weekend use only, in the mornings.  I seriously am reconsidering this rule.  But I hate rewarding his shitty behavior with such a big treat.

Dude, just do it. We watched so much tv.

pandce.proboards.com/thread/439441/year-old-who-hates-baby?page=1

[july]

I think it is a normal reaction as a result of crashing hormones and lack of good quality sleep. My daughter is three and doesn't understand that she is not the center of the world so she wants everything done now. She is also going through a phase of testing her limits right now and will deliberately do the opposite of what I say. It can aggravate me and I don't have a second one yet.

[swank]

Sept 1, 2015 22:58:16 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Sept 1, 2015 22:57:07 GMT -5 swank said:

I'm not ashamed to admit that the iPad did a lot of parenting those first few weeks. This all sounds normal to me and I think it takes everyone a while to adjust.

Hugs.

We normally reserve the iPad for weekend use only, in the mornings.  I seriously am reconsidering this rule.  But I hate rewarding his shitty behavior with such a big treat.

I was EPing and just needed to keep her still while I pumped and fed DS and kept my sanity. Daniel tiger is my homeboy.

[sjh722]

Sept 1, 2015 22:59:08 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Sept 1, 2015 22:54:27 GMT -5 sjh722 said:

It was awful. So, so, so awful. I'm sorry. I'll see if I can dig up my post about it.

I did end up on Zoloft, I don't know if the PPD made it seem worse than it really was...but all of my friends said 1 to 2 sucked.

((Hugs)). It gets better.

MMM lied then! Bc the overwhelming majority said 0-1 was worse lol!!

One of my friends brought dinner over after #2 was born and was like "it's okay if you think it's awful. It is. I cried a lot." Also, incidentally, one of my SIL and several of my close friends have ended up with PPD with #2 when they didn't have it with #1 (myself included).

[GotWine]

I am so sorry. I can totally relate. My 3 year old has zero volume control and I am ready to pull my hair out. I am so sick of hissing to her to keep it down while I'm holding an almost asleep ds.

I will say that PP hormones made it much worse for me at the beginning. As time went on it became less enraging.

[july]

If you suspect PPD but wanted to give it some time, I would recommend that you write down your moods to track them. I spent too long convincing myself I was okay on the good days.

[GotWine]

Sept 1, 2015 22:59:31 GMT -5 sjh722 said:

Sept 1, 2015 22:58:16 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

We normally reserve the iPad for weekend use only, in the mornings.  I seriously am reconsidering this rule.  But I hate rewarding his shitty behavior with such a big treat.

Dude, just do it. We watched so much tv.

pandce.proboards.com/thread/439441/year-old-who-hates-baby?page=1

We relied pretty heavily on electronics during those beginnings weeks as well. Like A LOT, especially when dh went back to work. I felt pretty guilty about it, but she hasn't touched the iPad since May so I'm sure it all evens out. 

[mlt]

DS1 was newly 3 when we brought DS2 home. It was horrible. He screamed at me and threw things at my head while I was nursing. He spent so much time in his room and I spent a lot of time crying. I didn't have PPD, I was just overwhelmed when he was around. I was fine when it was just me and the baby. I sort of felt sorry for DS1 but I think it was also good for him to learn how to not be our only child. He had gotten pretty spoiled and we didn't notice it until DS2 came.

[redpenmama]

Sounds normal to me.

DD was 2.5 when DS was born. She was driving me nuts, but I was also very sensitive to the fact that this major life change just happened, and I didn't want to crush her spirits by snapping at her and being short with her. My mom was here for a month and kept her entertained, and that made all the difference. Without her help, I would've lost my mind. It definitely required a ton of patience to get through it. Hang in there.

[lilac05]

I think even if your 3 year old isn't even the tiniest bit louder than pre-baby, it FEELS like it. Because now you're overtired & worried that he'll wake the baby. It's all normal. (Plus, 3 year olds are notoriously loud and...difficult, new baby or not!)

I agree with PP that he's seeking attention, and will take any...positive or negative. It really sucks. What helped me was when our pedi said to try to put myself in DS1's shoes. She said to imagine how I'd feel if my H brought another person into our family/relationship without my permission. He now had to split his attention between me & another woman, and nothing I said or did would change it. Plus the new person was really needy! How would I feel when I saw them together? What would I do? I'd be so pissed, even if I also really liked the new person! I might be nice to the new person, but it might be different with my H. That hit me hard & helped me be a little more understanding of DS1's behavior.

And anytime he was extra attention-seeking, I called it out. "DS1, your behavior tells me that you need some attention. Say, 'mommy, I need some attention.'" Then he'd calm a bit, say it, and I'd shower him with some extra positive attention. The phase passed quickly for us...hopefully it will for you, too!

[longtimenopost]

Needed this tonight! DD is 2.5 and right now loves the baby, but she is testing limits and I feel so guilty. I just want her to feel loved and not replaced

[rugbywife]

It's been a huge challenge for us. And yes, my 16 month old gets more screen time than she used to, which most days is only 30-60 min but it feels wrong. She now only wants to watch tv in the basement playroom. And I can't be bothered to argue some days.

[daisybuchannan]

The first few weeks were crazy bc Connor was always an easy toddler/baby, and he was my WORLD. Then, all of a sudden, he was fucking with me/the baby, and it made me feel so mad at him! I had moments of "what have I done???" bc I felt like he was mad at ME, and I hated that I was so pissed off at him for being too rough, etc. That only lasted a short time, and everything is great now. I will still say that apart from the first few weeks, 0-1 was harder than 1-2. It's like Cameron has always been here (now) in a wonderful way. And now SHE is my angel, lol.

[water*drop]

That sounds pretty normal to me. DD turned 3 a few days before DS was born. The first 3 weeks were awful. I hated every minute when they were both home. I remember saying more than a few times to DH that I didn't really like being a family of four. DD was whiny, threw a million tantrums, and, although she adored DS from the beginning, she was very intense in that adoration. After 3 weeks, DD had adjusted some and was back down to a fairly normal level of fit-throwing. By 6 weeks she had pretty well figured out her role as big sister and was less intense, but I was still not super thrilled (but much better than at 3 weeks). At 3 months now, I enjoy her more often than not, and I actually enjoy our family dynamic most of the time. I mean, she's a normal 3-year-old, but she's fun most of the time.

I debated a LOT during the first 4-6 weeks about whether or not it was PPD. In the end, I decided that it probably wasn't since I was fine when I had either kid on their own (it was just when I had both of them that I hated life) AND, most importantly, because after 3 weeks, things steadily improved. Those first 3 weeks, though...

[water*drop]

Oh, and we were VERY generous with screen time for a while. I also tried to do as much one-on-one time with DD as possible. I'm breastfeeding, so our one-on-one time was limited to 2ish hours (I left a bottle home with DH just in case), but we went to get ice cream, ran to Target, made cookies with DH and DS totally out of sight, etc. I also let her help with DS as much as I could even though it tested my patience like crazy and made everything take 8 times as long as normal.

[gibbinator]

My patience with ds1 was definitely shorter. But thankfully he was still in daycare most days so I didn't have to deal with the 2yr old craziness.

[Deleted]

I vote normal b/c I'm going through the same thing. I know realistically that DS (3.5yo) is a great kid. He's not whiny, or aggressive towards me or DD. But with the sleep deprivation my fried brain has zero tolerance. He's SO LOUD. He's always yelling out of the blue, playing loud games like being a fireman by clomping around in my ankle boots, or chasing the dog around. He's also taken to yelling "NO I DON'T WANT TO!" I want to yell back "TOO FREAKIN' BAD!" But I have refrained myself yet thus far. I agree that he is a lot more work than DD. He's been watching an outrageous amount of TV. I know it should cut it back, DD is 5 months old and we're in a good routine now. But I just cannnnn't parent at 6am when DS gets up in the pitch black before dawn. I just can't. 3yos are just a handful no matter what else you've got going on.

That being said, I think it never hurts to get evaluated for PPD, it can only help.

[Willis Jackson]

It sounds normal to me.

I felt very protective of the baby and just wanted to hide away in a cave with him/her, away from any real or perceived threats, like a rowdy big kid. Like I literally wanted to growl at the big kids sometimes. lol.

[namasteak]

Sept 1, 2015 23:11:34 GMT -5 july said:

If you suspect PPD but wanted to give it some time, I would recommend that you write down your moods to track them. I spent too long convincing myself I was okay on the good days.

This is a really good idea and I'm totally stealing it for #2 since I did the same "convince myself I'm ok on good days" thing (which resulted in me not getting help as quickly).

Farmer - how many days PP are you? I think there is a big hormone crash around day 5.

[zeewifeandmama]

It was normal for our house. I don't like to think of the first few weeks home with both
Take the help. Just take it. He will be happy, you will be relieved and it will be better in the end. :: hugs ::: the transition was hard for us. It does get better!

[t]

DD1 has been the hardest part of parenting since DD2 was born (and I don't like newborns all that much). She is flat-out obstinate at times. It's a battle of wills in our house. She can stubborn and can really dig her heels in. Keeping her in daycare was a good decision for us because we needed a break from one another.
I did try to do things 1:1 with her as much as I could because all attention is on the baby. So I play a game or do a craft with her when I can get DD2 asleep. Painting her nails has been our special treat this summer. We also have a lot more screen time than I'd like normally. Movies, shows, time on the iPad.

[Deleted]

Completely normal. It's a big adjustment for everyone. He is probably mad/upset about the baby and might not even know how to verbalize why. Hang in there, it'll get better/easier in a little while.

[karinothing]

Normal. DS has been pretty good behavior wise but my temper is shorter probably due to sleep deprivation. He also always climbs all over me when I nurse and I seriously can't stand that. So I tend to get annoyed quickly then and snap.

[MadamePresident]

It's normal. I hated my toddler for a while after the baby was born. I was still nursing her and I seriously wanted to throw her off of me. Those intense feelings went away, but it wasn't overnight. My doctor assured me it was pretty normal.