WWYD?

[texaswildflower]

So, most of you know that I moved back home while DH is deployed. Originally, our plan was for me and R to stay in Texas since DH will only have one year left on his contract after he gets back from Afghan. Now we're both having second thoughts about that. We're ready to be together again. And being away from R is much harder on him than he thought it would be.

So, what would y'all do? Move back or tough it out for one more year?

[Deleted]

An extra year is a LONG time to be apart, especially immediately following a deployment. I would move back with him. Why "tough it out" when you can realistically be together for that year?

[brandienee]

A year is a long time. For me, personally, I would move back to be with him.

[texaswildflower]

I forgot to mention that there is a possibility of him being sent on a MEU for 6 months out of that year.

[softspot]

Go back to CP, even if it ends up being for only 6 months.

[texaswildflower]

Aug 21, 2012 12:32:48 GMT -5 softspot said:

Go back to CP, even if it ends up being for only 6 months.

I think I'd end up regretting it if I didn't go back, even if he is gone half of the time we're there.

[YellowRose]

Why do you want to stay in TX without DH?

[texaswildflower]

I don't want to stay here without him. But moving back would mean spending money we've been working on saving. I'm worried about the money situation, especially since I haven't been able to find a job.

[YellowRose]

I understand your financial concerns, but your first sentence answered the question IMO. How much would you pay out to move back, vs. what you've been saving.

Also, I think you need to consider what happens in the future. When he gets out, then what? What if neither of you can find a job in TX? What if he finds a job 1000 miles away? Are you willing to move then? If then, why not now?

[bettydraper]

I'd move back to be with him. Esp because you have a little one. That's a long time to electively be away from each other.

Is the job sitch better where your DH is?

[texaswildflower]

Aug 21, 2012 12:56:28 GMT -5 bettydraper said:

I'd move back to be with him. Esp because you have a little one. That's a long time to electively be away from each other.

Is the job sitch better where your DH is?

No, I had a hard time there too. I actually thought I'd have an easier time finding a job here. That was one of the reasons I came out here.

[softspot]

M, have you re-vamped your resume? Had someone else look at it?

[texaswildflower]

I had revised it when I first got back out here. I'm actually going to work on it again today once I finish cleaning and organizing the clutter on my desk.

[texaswildflower]

Aug 21, 2012 13:18:03 GMT -5 Stan said:

My sister is in HR, I bet she'd look at it for you!

I don't know what you should do. I will say you seem much happier (as if I can tell from FB) where you are. You always seemed so miserable here. OTH, I think it's unfair to A to b a long distance husband and dad if it's not necessary, and I would love to have you back here!

Yea, I'm really not all that much happier here. Its nice having my family around to help me out with R, but at the same time they kind of get in the way. They don't understand what its like to be separated from their spouse.

Part of what had me so down over there was the whole job situation. And I'm stuck in the same thing here too! It really sucks. There are times that I think I should have just stayed in California for the deployment.

I miss all the friends I have there too. Y'all get it. My friends here don't.

[letsbeawkward]

Move back. A year is a long time to choose to be apart. It will be better for you and baby R to have a husband/daddy again.

[NomadicMama]

I'd move back. Be together as a couple and a family when you are able. Perhaps you don't need to move everything back to California. Use this as an opportunity to downsize or store things with family--thus making it less expensive to move.

Good luck!

[prettyinpink]

Aug 21, 2012 17:01:10 GMT -5 NomadicMama said:

I'd move back. Be together as a couple and a family when you are able. Perhaps you don't need to move everything back to California. Use this as an opportunity to downsize or store things with family--thus making it less expensive to move.

Good luck!

This.

[twoslicehilly]

I would personally move back. Especially if you are both second guessing your original plans.

[honeybadger]

Move back.

But I may be projecting here because I've only been in our home state for 2 months and I already know that everyone told me who to stay put was right. I was convinced (by parents/family) that being near family to have the baby and for IJC would be best. That is a huge crock of shit and being here is incredibly stressful. This actually has nothing to do with being able to be back with your husband, lol.

I would definitely move back if he is in the states and you're looking at a year apart unnecessarily.