Post by jeaniebueller on Sept 3, 2015 10:54:21 GMT -5
If your gut is telling you something is off, I would trust it. Her reasons for not wanting you to linger are crazy. I use an IH daycare too and she always makes time to chat or for us to just watch the kids play with no hesitation.
That is weird. I see the other kids at my dayhome all the time; it's not a problem to me if other parents hang out for a bit.
Your gut is telling you this isn't a great fit. It's okay to look at other options. You don't need to be "justified". Just tell her you've found another place, and give whatever notice is required. Do you have a contract?
Confidentiality? Are the children going to reveal secret identities? I would look for a new place if only because her saying that makes me think she's...not smart.
Post by cincodemayo on Sept 3, 2015 11:03:15 GMT -5
Sorry, I would start looking. It seems odd that you can't sit there for a minute to see how your child is, and her reason is odder-like she is trying to cover something up.
hell no. You lost me at 2 big dogs who are sometimes inside. Using confidentiality and the probation officer parent as an excuse so that you couldn't observe your own kid in daycare is bullshit. It kind of comes off as a veiled threat too. I would take her out so fast.
Nope. I would be done. I can't leave my kid with someone that I felt uncomfortable with. I didn't go with the daycare 30 seconds or 2 minutes from my house because of this. She goes to a place 12 minutes away
Ugh, yeah I would not be okay with the closed door policy, and I would tell her directly that that is my reason for leaving (after your LO is done there, though, not when you give notice)
I'm not sure how a probation officer parent is relevant. Are the kids in witness protection or something?
Sketchy.
I think she thinks that the probation officer parent does not want other parents to see her own kids. I do know that some people in those fields try to keep a low public profile. Like for instance, my friend/neighbor who is a probation officer doesn't let her FB friends tag her in their photos, just to keep her social media group more contained. And my dad, who was a prison warden, didn't keep photos of us on his desk at work. That sort of thing. But I still think her concern is way overblown.
But I still don't 100% know that she was talking about. To be honest, I was so flustered and uncomfortable, I just wanted to end the conversation and leave.
Even in this case, she is toeing confidentiality lines by telling you that. You didn't need to know. It's not like you wanted photos. You wanted to observe your own kid.
I understand your discomfort and I think it is warranted. I would go with your gut on this one.
I'm a big "go with my gut" person. Even before you provided more details, I was thinking it's time to find somewhere else. With the confidentiality thing & all that, no farking way. I sent DD to a preschool with famous people's kids in which they had a real lock-down on providing contact info for other parents (you had to leave a note for the parent in the kid's cubby and hope they responded bc the school wouldn't provide emails or phone #'s for birthday parties, play dates, etc.), and we were STILL allowed to hang out and take a good look at other faces there and all that jazz. Your DCP's attitude just sounds really, really weird to me.
Time to find someone else. That is so strange that you aren't allowed to look at the other kids. I always am looking at them because it's fun to see how much they've grown up, and they're often playing together anyway. Hope you find a better fit.
Not that you needed it, but you're validated. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't right for you. You shouldn't head off to work with doubts and concerns about the care your child is getting. I'd be done.
Listen to your gut. I would feel uncomfortable with this situation, too. You gave it your best shot and did your due diligence on the front end, but it just didn't pan out. And that's ok.
Someone else's "confidentiality" doesn't trump YOUR right to see YOUR child. WTF?
To what others said, perhaps that parent made a comment about "due to my job, I don't want people to know my kids come here/ who my kids are" or... who the heck knows what. The parent may have said something just to be like "If someone comes knocking at your door asking if my kids are here - say no". I HIGHLY doubt that this parent said anything even close to expecting her to not let OTHER parents into her house to see their own kids!
Post by SallySparrow on Sept 3, 2015 12:01:14 GMT -5
1) I have dogs and Hell no to all that.
2) Confidentiality? No. Most daycare centers around here have two way mirror things so parents can drop in and see their kids anytime they want. Our in-home has an open door policy.
Those two things alone would make me look elsewhere.
Go with your gut and find a new place. Even if she's not sketchy, she's weird and makes you feel uncomfortable. That's enough for you to switch providers.
I'm an assistant at an in-home daycare and this is raising a thousand red flags for me. Did you check out her licensing through the agencies and see if there were any flags?
Post by redpenmama on Sept 3, 2015 12:50:47 GMT -5
Yes, that exchange is super weird (not to mention confusing). Go with your gut on this one ... if it didn't feel right to begin with, combined with the "confidentiality" conversation, I'd probably leave. Plus, her unwillingness to let you stick around leaves me suspicious -- not to say she's hiding something, but I would want a DCP who was more open with me about my child's care.