green eyed monster :(

[swagger]

How do you handle seeing practically all of your friends / colleagues getting pregnant while you're silently praying every cycle?

I smile, congratulate them, but secretly I wish it was me. It's tearing me up.

[Deleted]

We just started TTC, so my jealousy has been more geared toward the fact that my career is going to be negatively affected by a pregnancy (hence, I've been waiting to lessen the impact), while the guys I work with suffer no negative effects when their wives get pregnant. I know I can't really BLAME other people for going on with their lives when I have CHOSEN to wait, but it still makes me jealous.

Like you, I smile, congratulate them, offer to baby-sit (an sometimes am taken up on my offer), buy gifts when appropriate, etc. Basically, I treat them like I hope I will be treated when my time comes (though I imagine that by then everyone will be too busy with their kids to remember Auntie Villain and how she was always there for them...).

Doesn't make it any easier though. Yeah, it sucks.

[statlerwaldorf]

It's hard. I just smile and congratulate them. I have a really hard time with people that get pregnant unexpectedly. I know that it in no way affects my IF, but it's kind of like a punch in the gut.

My cousin just announced her pregnancy. Her DD is a little younger than my DD and she is losing custody of her because of her drug use. She asked her mom for money for an abortion, but her mom is Catholic and wouldn't give her the money or have anything to do with her if she decided to have an abortion.

[jenn1298]

Aug 21, 2012 14:11:59 GMT -5 @esquirefish said:

I just had a miscarriage and my SIL is due in 6 weeks. That is going to be very emotionally tough.

Yes, that will be hard. Good luck to you!!

[Jalapeñomel]

I don't know. I struggle with this, and it gets really bad when I am PMSing.

[Jalapeñomel]

How long have you been trying?

[vivaladiva]

Like the others - smile, congratulate, and try to remember what I have to be thankful for in my life to avoid wallowing in despair. The jealousy feelings eventually lessen in intensity, but never completely go away. But treating them how I want to be treated when my time comes does help.

[swagger]

Aug 21, 2012 16:46:28 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

How long have you been trying?

We're going on our 9th month. It's tough since I work night shift and my husband works days. Sometimes, we don't see each other for 3 days due to schedule issues.

I'm hoping this is the month. I've been charting and think we're on track...but I've thought that before.

My husband's best friend (like my brother) just knocked up his nearly-underage girlfriend and many of my classmates are announcing their pregnancies.

[sunflower22]

I am always outwardly nice but if I'm in a funk I'll just distance myself a little. Prob 80% of my friends are pregnant or have kids, so sometimes I just hang out w that other 20%

[Cheesecake]

Depends on who it is. When it's a super good friend and/or someone who I know has been trying forever, I'll genuinely feel happy for them and will congratulate without it being forced. I will actually be smiling.

With everyone else it's really the question of whether or not I can get away with not congratulating. If it's just a FB announce, well, thank heavens for FB deciding what posts I should see or not. If I get a comment about not saying anything about it, I can just grumble stupid facebook, well yeah obviously congrats are in order.

If it's in person it's a fake smile and nod and 'oh wow, I'm so happy for you'.

[monsterellachz]

This got me today. We're not going to start trying for a little while yet, but I wish we would've already started a long time ago.

I work in a baby boutique.

I just have to remember we'll be there soon enough.

[winecheery]

Aug 23, 2012 21:14:26 GMT -5 monsterellachz said:

This got me today. We're not going to start trying for a little while yet, but I wish we would've already started a long time ago.

I work in a baby boutique.

I just have to remember we'll be there soon enough.

Oh good grief to the bolded. If I were ttc, or in the planning stages, I think that would be so hard after a time, seeing all those bumps in your face every. damn. day.

But of course, that's my mood today. You sound a lot more collected!

[TrickyBob]

I didn't used to get jealous and now I do. It sucks.

Close friends and family? I get excited for because even though I'm jealous, it isn't their fault and for all I know, they could have wanted it as much as I do. So I put on a happy face and ask if there is anything I can help them with or just offer a shoulder lean on if they need it. And then I buy them lots of baby junk.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment because my SIL might be pregnant and I'm acting like a down right child about it (only at home, not to her or anyone else's face). It's not that I don't think she'd be a good Mom or anything, but she relationship hops and is never really committed to one person.

Another "friend" has been with her boyfriend for a MONTH and is pregnant. And she's excited because they "planned it that way". She's another relationship hopper.

I honestly try not to let it get the best of me because I don't know anyone's full story but in the case of my SIL and semi friend, it's hard.

[monsterellachz]

Aug 24, 2012 10:49:25 GMT -5 winecheery said:

Aug 23, 2012 21:14:26 GMT -5 monsterellachz said:

This got me today. We're not going to start trying for a little while yet, but I wish we would've already started a long time ago.

I work in a baby boutique.

I just have to remember we'll be there soon enough.

Oh good grief to the bolded. If I were ttc, or in the planning stages, I think that would be so hard after a time, seeing all those bumps in your face every. damn. day.

But of course, that's my mood today. You sound a lot more collected!

I will say I'm learning a lot about how I will/will not act when I am pregnant or have children...

It really got to me the other day when a client was talking about their little sister who's turning 28 not wanting to miss anything her child does... I'm turning 29 in the spring. I had always wanted to start a family in my mid-20s... I think part of the reason it got to me was because years ago I imagined being at a different place in my life at this point.

We're really not that far away (end of this year/early next), but I'm getting super impatient now. I talk to H about it a lot. I'm counting down the months.

[7costanza]

I can definitely relate, it can be hard at times to hear about others getting pregnant, especially after a miscarriage (I've had two). Lately I've been trying to change my thinking and get excited because maybe their fertility will wear off on me.