Help me pick childcare

[hbomdiggity]

GAH. For being a planner, I've put my head in the sand re childcare. I couldn't find a ton of options which is frustrating and I think I just knew that I had no idea what to ask/prioritize or what I would want until baby was here.

I go back to work mid October. DS will be ~16 weeks. H has an option to take paternity leave, but its only 60% pay. He was planning to take from Thanksgiving through Christmas, but that leaves us with no care for the month when I go back to Thanksgiving (MIL can come for 1 week, so we'd still need care).

I previously interviewed 2 in-homes. Neither do waitlists or guarantees - just "keep in touch." One hasn't responded to my email from last week, so I'm assuming she doesn't have any availability or doesn't like me. The other just emailed that she has one infant spot left and available now.

I realize most of my pros/cons are pretty typical, but I would love your thoughts.

FWIW, DS will be going to preschool at 2 (already on that waitlist) so I am less concerned about the socialization aspects.

Option 1 - In home
Pros:
- location. If I'm going to have care outside the house, the location couldn't be better. it's in my hood, less than a mile and walkable.
- cost. $900/mo, includes food.
- experience. she comes highly recommended from a coworker who sent her sons there. CW's oldest is now in college, so she's been doing this forever. she also made it seem like the other parents are a close group.

Cons:
- 14 kids total/4 infants:2 caregivers. it wasn't until I had my own kid that I realized this seems like a lot of kids, esp infants for just 2 people. I get they are pros, but babies just want to be held.
- schedule. hours are 7am-5pm. I will be responsible for p/u and I have never left work before 5pm. I work long hours (10hr days). obviously I will have to get to work much much earlier. There will be some days that I have to work late and will have to hope H can make it in time (he has a long commute, I have a 2mi commute).
- schedule. she has planned vacation (two 1 week I think) and holidays so we will need backup care and have no local family. at least for the upcoming holiday season DH could use his paternity leave if needed.
- older home. this is not a fancy facility, but it seemed clean.

Option 2 - Nanny
Pros:
- 1:1 care
- schedule. i get to pick the hours and option for longer hours (at an additional cost)

Cons:
- cost. I figure it will be at least $2000 for 40 hours, so double, if not more, than Option 1. We can technically afford it, but it will mean a much tighter budget, putting off larger purchases, etc.
- finding a good nanny. coworker has gone the nanny route and her nannies seem to have been great, but still have days of not showing up/late, etc. another coworker's nanny didn't show up because she got arrested the night before...
- someone else in my home.

--

If money wasn't an issue, I would lean towards the nanny. I've considered a nanny-share, but haven't had much luck finding a family. Plus, finding a family and a nanny is double the trouble.

[rootbeerfloat]

You don't have any potential nanny candidates yet? It's hard to compare with a hypothetical. If you got a decent vibe from the in-home, I would go with that.

[IrishBelle]

I would have picked the in home until I saw how many kids they have. Is that even legal where you are?

[egishere]

I don't see how you could manage a 5pm pickup. That would be stressful. I would keep looking for another in home option probably.

[Deleted]

Is it possible you could pay extra to extend to 5:30? My in home has the same hours and that's what we do.

However the ratio does seem like a LOT of kids. I know there are regulations so assuming she's meeting those I'd be okay with it.

[specialk]

I would have also picked in home, but agree that the number of kids seems really high and that pick ups are likely to be a problem. I would start interviewing nannies.

[cajunmom]

So you're going to use this place for like three weeks and then what are you going to do during your H's leave? I mean, are you going to keep paying for your spot at the in-home if you go with that?

[dancingirl21]

In your case, I vote nanny. It seems like the in-home has too many kids and the hours are not good.

[hbomdiggity]

The 14/4 is the legal max for 2 caregivers. The other in home was the same.

The other in home was also a 5pm p/u so this is apparently standard here. I'm not interested in researching additional in homes. There is no fine for being late because she found parents willingly paid the fine to go to the grocery store or do other things kid-free.

And I haven't placed a nanny ad yet, but I'm pretty confident that I could find someone and the minimum cost. But I need to respond to the in home and don't want to jerk her along unless I'm serious.

The only way I see the in home schedule working is to get in much earlier and to work after baby goes to sleep. maybe if I was particularly busy I could hire a babysitter a few nights a week.

[Deleted]

If your DH is planning to take leave it only really makes sense that he takes it as you go back to work. If he can't do that, you end up paying for care you won't use while he's off.

A nanny seems more practical for your schedules. You guys need to decide if you can make the in home work or not, though. There's probably a reason your coworkers have nannies.

[hbomdiggity]

Sept 3, 2015 15:30:43 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

So you're going to use this place for like three weeks and then what are you going to do during your H's leave? I mean, are you going to keep paying for your spot at the in-home if you go with that?

H taking paternity leave was part of an ideal scenario of DS not starting care until January. Since there is a spot open now and we have no other option for Oct-Nov, I think we have to just arrange care now and H takes less paternity leave, if any.

I'm pretty sure the in home is going to want me to start paying now anyway and we are 6 weeks away from me needing her.

[zarapipe]

I would also suggest asking the in home about paying extra till 530

[cajunmom]

Sept 3, 2015 15:45:53 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

Sept 3, 2015 15:30:43 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

So you're going to use this place for like three weeks and then what are you going to do during your H's leave? I mean, are you going to keep paying for your spot at the in-home if you go with that?

H taking paternity leave was part of an ideal scenario of DS not starting care until January. Since there is a spot open now and we have no other option for Oct-Nov, I think we have to just arrange care now and H takes less paternity leave, if any.

I'm pretty sure the in home is going to want me to start paying now anyway and we are 6 weeks away from me needing her.

Say what now? Is this a thing? I require a deposit if a client won't be starting for quite a while and I have an open spot (as opposed to losing one child and the new child starting right away) but I couldn't imagine requiring people to pay for 6 weeks before they even start.

[hbomdiggity]

Sept 3, 2015 15:48:39 GMT -5 cajunmom said:

Sept 3, 2015 15:45:53 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

H taking paternity leave was part of an ideal scenario of DS not starting care until January. Since there is a spot open now and we have no other option for Oct-Nov, I think we have to just arrange care now and H takes less paternity leave, if any.

I'm pretty sure the in home is going to want me to start paying now anyway and we are 6 weeks away from me needing her.

Say what now? Is this a thing? I require a deposit if a client won't be starting for quite a while and I have an open spot (as opposed to losing one child and the new child starting right away) but I couldn't imagine requiring people to pay for 6 weeks before they even start.

Maybe not? It may not end up being 6 weeks, maybe more like a month before we confirm (she wants me to come by next week). I figured she would want some guarantee and I don't mind paying for that.

In any case, we would definitely be sending him come October. my H may take some paternity leave around the holidays but I would fully expect to pay full rates once we start.

[badtzmaru22]

Will the in-home work with you on an extended evening? Even to 5:30 maybe?

Our in home sounds very similar, and we love it. Wrt the amount of kids, at least here, some of those have to be school age kids. It seems like a lot, but I don't think it's bad. The state defines infants as under age two, and my daycare tries to stagger how many tiny babies they have at a time- with siblings, it's actually worked out pretty well. Ours currently has two 13mo (one is DS) and one 5mo, so to me that is vastly different than four 3mo. When DD started, she was 3mo, there was a 6mo, and that was it for under twos.

They do take a lot of vacations, and we have no local family, so we schedule my mom's visits to coincide with those times, or I take PTO, since I have twice as much time off as DH.

I think it's so hard to compare, not having a nanny in mind. But I hear a lot of horror stories of nannies calling off or quitting without notice... I don't know, I think I just prefer a group setting as well.

[nessness]

Is a center not an option? Mine is open until 6:15, and open every day except holidays. Cost would probably be intermediate between a nanny and in-home.

But if I could afford it, I would absolutely have gone with a nanny for DD as a young infant. The hardest part of going back to work for me was knowing she wasn't being held all day like she wanted.

[SJ]

I don't like either of those options.

The ratio and the hours of the in-home seem like deal breakers.

And 200%+ difference is huge.

Are you sure there are no other options? What about a nanny share? A center?

[hbomdiggity]

No center available. We live close to downtown and they are mostly in surburbia. There is one but no opening until September 2016.

Regarding the ratio, I believe an infant is <2 and you can only have two babies <1. Which attributes to the impossibility of finding an opening.

[Deleted]

Would you be open to a longer commute to find another in home? It just sounds like neither of those options are really great.

And, FWIW, I think 2k a month is probably on the low end of what you'd need to pay for 40+ hours for a nanny.

[hbomdiggity]

Sept 3, 2015 16:47:05 GMT -5 @republicrat said:

Would you be open to a longer commute to find another in home? It just sounds like neither of those options are really great.

And, FWIW, I think 2k a month is probably on the low end of what you'd need to pay for 40+ hours for a nanny.

I think a longer commute would defeat any advantage of just slightly better hours.

I think you are right re nanny costs. Prob more like 2400-3000.