Sunday Night Randoms, life dilemmas, and more

[abcdefu]

First, I would like to give a big shout out to the stomach virus I had the last two days! I lost two more lbs so thanks virus!

I posted last week that one of two lawyers is leaving my firm. My boss is the only remaining lawyer and he is almost 70. The lawyer that is leaving is in her early 40's and she was supposed to take over after my boss retired. It is a super nasty split, but it might be for the best because she is a major procrastinator and everything is so last minute.

I am going to be out of a job as my boss has made it clear he isn't hiring any more lawyers and my area is really not good for my job. Most lawyers in my area have private practices and do their own work.

Part of me is like: go back to school; get my master's degree and look to relocate.

Another part of me is like: Don't go back to school because more debt would suck; plus I have no clue how long my health is going to hold up.

The last part is all like: Just move to Florida. The warm weather would be really good for my nerve spasm disorder (cold weather makes it worse) Plus my grandparents and other family members live down there and I wouldn't have to deal with my fath..I mean sperm donor.

I have no clue what I am going with my life....blah!

Who else is here?!?

[redshoejune]

I'm here. Not a lot going on. Had a tough weekend with my kids and worried about the big one and her emotional drama and stress. But they're in bed now and I'm going to get to paying my bills tonight.

[llh0211]

Haven't you been wanting to move, abcdefu? Perhaps this is the push you needed?

I've had a great weekend, and am now enjoying a quiet evening snuggling my Fitz. I stayed with my BFF Friday night, and slept on her sofa, with my dog too. I have had the worst knot in my back since then.

[bg]

Add me to the no clue what I'm going to do with my life too. I think Florida sounds like a fun change for you!

Trying to psych myself up for a week of writing.

[abcdefu]

llh0211 - yes!!! I've been dying for a change. I think I'll stick it out for another year and get everything together.

I just don't want to move with the mindset that it will change everything and my life will magically be perfect! I can't set myself up be I will be disappointed. There are a lot of pros but also cons to moving. I just want to make sure I am making the right decision.

bg - I love Florida! I really think it could be a good thing for me but I'm terrified!!

[MauMau]

I've been MIA. I've just been having a real rough go of it the last month. I am having a hard time transitioning my life. I just want to stick my head in the sand.

[abcdefu]

I'm sorry MauMau If you're not in therapy, talking to a counselor might help. You can always vent/get support here! HUGS!

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Well you've got built in friends in Florida (me and bl), especially if it is Central Florida.

I was in an anxious mood for most of the weekend and it started to calm down yesterday. I went and bought some 5-HTP and will be starting that tonight before bed. Currently I'm making a house cleaning schedule for every night this week and I'm actually excited about it.

[imalwaysme79]

Sept 21, 2015 7:41:12 GMT -5 pantsoffdanceoff said:

Well you've got built in friends in Florida (me and bl), especially if it is Central Florida.

And I'm in south Florida

[imalwaysme79]

I have no balance between work, school and life. I feel overwhelmed so often. I need to figure out how to get this under control.

[winecat]

I'm sorry MauMau.

[bl]

abcdefu I made the move to FL a year ago this month and it has been SO good for me. It was scary as hell though, and I almost cancelled it several times and cried for like half the drive here. I don't think any change like that is easy, but sometimes change ends up being a great thing.

MauMau I'm sorry lots of thoughts your way.

I slept like absolute shit last night and am hoping tonight is much different because I have something planned every single night this week and then fly out for my 250 mile bike ride on Saturday which I feel way under prepared for.

[abcdefu]

I'm looking in the Orlando or Tampa area since I have some nice relatives in both areas. If I can get a good job without having to go back to school, then perfect!

I know Eureka1984 is in that area too so I would have more built in friends in Florida than real friends here lol!

[jigsy]

Sept 21, 2015 7:41:12 GMT -5 pantsoffdanceoff said:

Well you've got built in friends in Florida (me and bl), especially if it is Central Florida.

I was in an anxious mood for most of the weekend and it started to calm down yesterday. I went and bought some 5-HTP and will be starting that tonight before bed. Currently I'm making a house cleaning schedule for every night this week and I'm actually excited about it.

I cannot tell you how big of a plus this is. I moved to LA and the only people I really knew were from here. Heck, when I first moved here, Miso was really the only person I had met more than once, lol.

But then, I met mp in person and now she is my best friend.

It's a great thing

[jigsy]

It's no longer sunday...but why start a new randoms thread, lol.

My life feels a little weird right now. I kind of feel like a boat just drifting in the currents. I have been trying to get a new job for a couple months, and have had zero bites. My personal life feels equally as aimless and weird. I guess the real issue I have right now is that I have no drive right now, and it is a weird thing for me because I have always been really driven. I just don't have anything solid to work towards right now.

I know it will all work out in the end. I had a minor breakdown last week where I just wanted to pack up my car and drive off (because when isn't just running away the right answer, right?). But that made me cry because even if I REALLY wanted to do that, I can't, because I don't have my car...going on two months now. blah.

[MauMau]

Sept 21, 2015 6:18:46 GMT -5 abcdefu said:

I'm sorry MauMau If you're not in therapy, talking to a counselor might help. You can always vent/get support here! HUGS!

Thanks ladies.

I go once a week it helps a lot.

[jigsy]

Another random, and this will be TMI, but...I recently bled a ridiculous amount (I think) while having sex. It was not period blood...just blood blood. And I say I think because the first time, lights were out and I cleaned up in the dark before hitting the bathroom, but judging by the feel of everything, it was a mess.
Subsequent follow-up had a little redness, but I feel like that is sort of normal? For me at least?

I scheduled an appointment with the OB/GYN, partly because of this, partly because it is time anyways, but I hope I am not dying (this is hyperbole, lol). I mean, it was rather deep, and it has been a while, so maybe I was just unprepared.

Sex...there is nothing sexy about the aftermath. lol.

[jojoandleo]

Sept 21, 2015 11:29:57 GMT -5 jigsy said:

It's no longer sunday...but why start a new randoms thread, lol.

My life feels a little weird right now. I kind of feel like a boat just drifting in the currents. I have been trying to get a new job for a couple months, and have had zero bites. My personal life feels equally as aimless and weird. I guess the real issue I have right now is that I have no drive right now, and it is a weird thing for me because I have always been really driven. I just don't have anything solid to work towards right now.

I know it will all work out in the end. I had a minor breakdown last week where I just wanted to pack up my car and drive off (because when isn't just running away the right answer, right?). But that made me cry because even if I REALLY wanted to do that, I can't, because I don't have my car...going on two months now. blah.

I could have written this almost word for word. My life feels adrift. I haven't really settled in to my new job yet and it has almost been a month. I still feel like I have no idea what I am doing and feel stupid in general. And I have no drive. Which is weird, because I am usually considered a VERY hard worker.

My personal life is also all weird. Not currently living with MH, leaving behind a lot of friends. One of my supposed best friends going off on me (and I haven't heard from her since).

I just feel kind of lost.

[jigsy]

Sept 21, 2015 18:56:25 GMT -5 mp said:

jigsy especially if it's been a little while for me - having sex can shake things up and cause me to spot or even start my period days early. SO LAME.

And to you and jojoandleo I'm sorry guys. feeling lost is the suck.

But I just finished that...I mean, maybe it knocked something loose? :barf: But it was like red...not, you know, not red. LOL. It makes me never want to have sex with new people because it can end up being embarrassing.

I mean, if a dude makes a big deal out of it, then he's a dick who never should have been allowed into the holy of holies (I don't think that is a word, though I distinctly remember using in Mormon Land...hmmmm) in the first place.

Also, I crack myself up with the double entendres.

And the fact that I have to point it out probably makes me lame. womp womp.

[jellymankelly]

I need someone to talk to me about the new Ryan Adams. Because I have lost the ability to even. Who even thinks about doing something like this? With Taylor Swift songs? And it's all GOLD. I mean, amazing. I can't...

(Edit again: This is clearly just a random and not a life dilemma. I'm trying to internally process some weird stuff job-wise right now, so obsessing about music is a good distraction.)

[Linie]

Sept 21, 2015 16:52:32 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Sept 21, 2015 11:29:57 GMT -5 jigsy said:

It's no longer sunday...but why start a new randoms thread, lol.

My life feels a little weird right now. I kind of feel like a boat just drifting in the currents. I have been trying to get a new job for a couple months, and have had zero bites. My personal life feels equally as aimless and weird. I guess the real issue I have right now is that I have no drive right now, and it is a weird thing for me because I have always been really driven. I just don't have anything solid to work towards right now.

I know it will all work out in the end. I had a minor breakdown last week where I just wanted to pack up my car and drive off (because when isn't just running away the right answer, right?). But that made me cry because even if I REALLY wanted to do that, I can't, because I don't have my car...going on two months now. blah.

I could have written this almost word for word. My life feels adrift. I haven't really settled in to my new job yet and it has almost been a month. I still feel like I have no idea what I am doing and feel stupid in general. And I have no drive. Which is weird, because I am usually considered a VERY hard worker.

My personal life is also all weird. Not currently living with MH, leaving behind a lot of friends. One of my supposed best friends going off on me (and I haven't heard from her since).

I just feel kind of lost.

I feel exactly the same. I changed careers 4 months ago and I used to work all the time; now: not so much. I posted here last week about my BF feeling guilty about being with me because his daughter has serious abandonment issues and so he told me he had no time or strength to be in our "wonderful" relationship and yet, we spent the weekend together (3 of us) as if nothing had happened; he even took me in his arms for a kiss when she was out of the room. I don't understand this.
I am going to be 45 on Friday. I do not think I have problem with the number, but then again, I feel so stuck... and tired

[glynn]

I am all weepy today and I have not had that in a long time.

The divorce is killing me. He works with his girlfriend and I figured out a couple weeks ago how to read his text. He goes in early to visit her and stays late to do the same. I am so lonely and need/want some male attention. Not really sex just to fell appreciated and told I look nice.

I have worked so hard in the last year and lost 60 pounds and now H decided to leave 4 months ago. The GF is not cute at all be they are always saying how sexy each other are and how much that .... with each other is great. Ugh. So I went on Match and have been talking to a guy free last Sunday and continued this week. He has been great to talk to and just what I needed but I do not think that I am attracted to him. One picture of him I can deal with the others no so much. Now I feel terrible and do not know how to get out of this. I love the attention though.

[jellymankelly]

Sept 22, 2015 9:28:52 GMT -5 glynn said:

I figured out a couple weeks ago how to (deleted the rest in case you decide to delete later).

Stop doing this. From a former snooper, I can promise you that you'll feel a lot better if you don't do it anymore. I know it's hard, but the first step to not caring about what he's doing is getting accustomed to not KNOWING what he's doing. It's too hard to move on when you're worried about what he's doing with his time. ((Hugs!!) 

[Deleted]

Tampa is a wonderful place to live!!

[glynn]

Sept 22, 2015 9:48:44 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

Sept 22, 2015 9:28:52 GMT -5 glynn said:

I figured out a couple weeks ago how to (deleted the rest in case you decide to delete later).

Stop doing this. From a former snooper, I can promise you that you'll feel a lot better if you don't do it anymore. I know it's hard, but the first step to not caring about what he's doing is getting accustomed to not KNOWING what he's doing. It's too hard to move on when you're worried about what he's doing with his time. ((Hugs!!) 

I am really not worried about what he is doing. I need it for evidence for the divorce. He claims he is not seeing anyone. I have text and pictures that show otherwise but I can't tell anyone except my lawyer.

I am just super lonely and keep getting blamed for this by his family. I do not think that he is telling them the whole truth. I am trying to be the bigger person right now. We go to mediation on Oct 7 which can not come fast enough....

Thanks!

[jigsy]

I think the adjustment from having someone always around to having no one around is the hardest to deal with glynn. I didn't even really like being around XH at the end of the marriage, but it still stung to not have someone checking in or whatever. So I feel you. I am now over a year removed from separation, and I can tell you it gets so much easier. Don't feel bad about talking to someone on Match to fill that little void. I know I have done it, and it makes you feel better, and it gets you over the hump. There will be a day when just talking is no longer enough and you want to actually meet people, and that will be great.

And congrats on the amazing weight loss. It's an amazing thing that you have done for yourself! I know it is hard to not wonder what the OW has that you don't - but that gets you no where. You are an amazing women, your XH couldn't appreciate that. You are now free to find new love and connection with people who will appreciate you.

[Deleted]

I'll continue on with the randoms. I'm at the hospital waiting from my mom to get out of surgery. She was supposed to be done by now, but the doctor ran super late so now she's just going in. I'm so so so tired. I think things with A might be wayning. I'm not sure if it's that we've been so busy and out of town that it's impossible to connect or if things are fizzling. I'm so tired that at this point I don't even care.

For those who feel like they've lost their drive, I've been there. And I've realized that coasting in life for a while is okay. You don't have to be driven 100percent of the time. That leads to burn out. When I go through times where work isn't as busy I use that time to "drive" my personal life, connect with friends and family, take the time to go to my niece's baseball games, hell catch up on DVR if I feel like it. I reconnect with my hobbies and do a lot of cooking or entertaining for friends. The break is nice and by the time work picks up again I go into it excited and renwed instead of dreadful and exhausted.

[stephreloaded]

Sept 22, 2015 12:30:40 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I'll continue on with the randoms. I'm at the hospital waiting from my mom to get out of surgery. She was supposed to be done by now, but the doctor ran super late so now she's just going in. I'm so so so tired. I think things with A might be wayning. I'm not sure if it's that we've been so busy and out of town that it's impossible to connect or if things are fizzling. I'm so tired that at this point I don't even care.

For those who feel like they've lost their drive, I've been there. And I've realized that coasting in life for a while is okay. You don't have to be driven 100percent of the time. That leads to burn out. When I go through times where work isn't as busy I use that time to "drive" my personal life, connect with friends and family, take the time to go to my niece's baseball games, hell catch up on DVR if I feel like it. I reconnect with my hobbies and do a lot of cooking or entertaining for friends. The break is nice and by the time work picks up again I go into it excited and renwed instead of dreadful and exhausted.

What makes you think they are?

If you don't want to date him again, then let things run its course but even if you are travelling a lot right now, you can keep connecting via text and make plans for when the two of you are available. 

[Deleted]

Sept 22, 2015 13:34:46 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Sept 22, 2015 12:30:40 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I'll continue on with the randoms. I'm at the hospital waiting from my mom to get out of surgery. She was supposed to be done by now, but the doctor ran super late so now she's just going in. I'm so so so tired. I think things with A might be wayning. I'm not sure if it's that we've been so busy and out of town that it's impossible to connect or if things are fizzling. I'm so tired that at this point I don't even care.

For those who feel like they've lost their drive, I've been there. And I've realized that coasting in life for a while is okay. You don't have to be driven 100percent of the time. That leads to burn out. When I go through times where work isn't as busy I use that time to "drive" my personal life, connect with friends and family, take the time to go to my niece's baseball games, hell catch up on DVR if I feel like it. I reconnect with my hobbies and do a lot of cooking or entertaining for friends. The break is nice and by the time work picks up again I go into it excited and renwed instead of dreadful and exhausted.

What makes you think they are?

If you don't want to date him again, then let things run its course but even if you are travelling a lot right now, you can keep connecting via text and make plans for when the two of you are available. 

Oh I do want to date him for sure. I'm just tired in general. It's just really hard to get a relationship off the ground I think when you can only see each other every 10 days or so sometimes. We do stay in touch via text, but I feel like we aren't "there" yet where the texts help us connect beyond a "how was your day?" you know? (and talking on the phone is not helpful. I HATE it and can't wait to get off of the phone even if it's someone I like). It's just poor timing all around. We aren't exclusive so I'd assume he's dating other people and the less avaialble I am, the more available they are you know? I'm not writing it off, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much anymore. 

[stephreloaded]

I made an appointment with a new therapist that has been highly recommended by my co-worker. It sucks that she is far from where I live and that I have to upfront the money because she is out of network (I will get reimbursed later).

I am behind at work. I went on vacation and then got sick as soon as I got back so I an really behind. Instead of trying to be the most productive I can, I have been kind of half assing it some days. Now, whenever I think about work, I get anxiety which makes me want to work even less .