Monday Randoms

[pantsoffdanceoff]

I feel like I can finally exhale. I had a funeral to go to this weekend and the office basically spent all last week planning it.

How was everyone's weekend?

[Deleted]

Hey. Still feeling a mess with anxiety. This is not panning out well. J and I are on each other's nerves because I expect him to be a certain way when I'm feeling like this and he isn't. I tried to talk to him, but since I'm emotional it didn't bode well. Things had been so great and now I feel like shit about everything.

[glynn]

I spent to much money this weekend. I loved seeing my DD1 which is getting harder and harder since she is 5 hours away. Talking to a new guy......

[achase123]

Sept 28, 2015 10:21:45 GMT -5 TR said:

Pretty good weekend, I was house/dogsitting for A while he was at his college reunion. Lazy Friday night, went to a soccer game with a girlfriend Saturday night, lazy Sunday until A came home.

achase123 - how did the retrieval of your stuff go?

Thanks for checking. I'm really glad I went alone because we ended up talking and that was good. I feel like the text he sent wasn't a break up text but I completely panicked when i saw it and said all or nothing. He said he was just feeling a lot of things and wanted some time to sort that out. After he'd given it thought over the weekend he said he just wants to make sure he's 110% up to the task of getting married and being a stepdad. In theory I get this but it's also annoying to me how he went about it.

I don't really know where it may go one day but for now I collected my stuff and got some clarity on what he's thinking. I have a lot of things that I pondering now too. The main thing is that I want to always do not just what's right for me but for P.

I do think it was good that we talked though. It was too weird and too sudden to not get some answers.

[Deleted]

achase123, honestly I'm not sure what to think. I'm glad you spoke to him to get some clarification. Is it that he's not ready for marriage? The commitment to you and P seems to be scaring him. Ummm. He should have thought of that when he began dating you. Does he think you are ready for marriage? Are you?
I don't like how he went about this.

[idahome]

I'm already exhausted. I made the mistake of checking my work emails at 3:30 this morning and found out that I have a huge project ahead of me. Today is the start of week 10 and I can official say I've hit the overwhelmed part of my job. I'll come through it in the end, but it's going to be dicey for a few weeks. Personal life is confusing right now and I'm not in the mood to deal. So I think I'm adopting a "head down, push through" mindset until the end of next month.

[achase123]

Sept 28, 2015 11:54:07 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

achase123, honestly I'm not sure what to think. I'm glad you spoke to him to get some clarification. Is it that he's not ready for marriage? The commitment to you and P seems to be scaring him. Ummm. He should have thought of that when he began dating you. Does he think you are ready for marriage? Are you?
I don't like how he went about this.

So many good questions, so many to think about. Everything I know about him is that he ponders and is very very strategic about things. I think he wants to be 150% sure that he's ready to not just be married but be a dad. I agree. The way he went about this was not good. He did apologize for that.

As strange as it may sound I'm somewhat relieved because I know he does still care and k know my perception of him was not off as much as I originally thought.

That being said I want this time for ME to think too. Do I want to be married? Is he the right one for me? How would these issues effect us or is this a good thing? We've never had so much as a problem so it's a bit of a relief in a weird way to know we're human and there's a passion there.

I made an appt with my counselor and I'm really trying to believe that in time the right decision will come to me.

[1confused1]

I had really great interactions with my ex-inlaws and xh this weekend, it was so so weird to have this after after almost 4 years. I'm hoping it will continue.

I am desperate to lose weight. I started using Slimfast today. I know it's not the best, but it's easy and all I can do right now.

[1confused1]

achase I'm glad you guys had a chance to talk. I hope your counseling appointment helps you as well.

[bg]

I had fun photographing the moon last night and exchanged emails with another woman who lives in the building who was doing the same. I emailed her some photo stuff I said I would and we'll see if I get a response. Making friends is hard.

In job application mode this morning, which is both anxiety inducing and exhausting. Yoga this afternoon can't come soon enough.

Sounds like a productive talk achase123.

[brooke77]

achase123 Any reason that he even sent the text instead of bringing his feelings up in a conversation in the first place? It sounds like it was not an appropriate feeling to text (though a completely appropriate feeling to have) and could have saved you a world of hurt. Why didn't he feel comfortable communicating such a huge issue in person?

My weekend was great. Although I'm at the point where a few of my friends are asking about dating. It's been three months since the separation and things were over a long time before then, so what am I waiting for? It's intimidating for sure...

[achase123]

Sept 28, 2015 13:47:36 GMT -5 brooke77 said:

achase123 Any reason that he even sent the text instead of bringing his feelings up in a conversation in the first place? It sounds like it was not an appropriate feeling to text (though a completely appropriate feeling to have) and could have saved you a world of hurt. Why didn't he feel comfortable communicating such a huge issue in person?

My weekend was great. Although I'm at the point where a few of my friends are asking about dating. It's been three months since the separation and things were over a long time before then, so what am I waiting for? It's intimidating for sure...

I'm not sure. I think he had zero idea it would carry the weight it did. Dumbass move on his part. Idk I'm glad we talked but I'm still processing all of this.

[Eureka1984]

Did anyone watch Blood and Oil on ABC? I'm happy Nate Archibold is back on tv

[jojoandleo]

achase123-Yeah, if it wasn't really a BREAK-UP text, I'm not AS livid, but it was still shitty. AND majorly cowardly. I think a break is a good idea for you to figure out how you feel with this new information. I don't think he is necessarily a bad guy, but what does his reaction to basically cold feet when you all don't even live together mean for the future?

You plan to move in and he get's scared and just doesn't show on move in day?

You all get in a fight and he just shuts down and leaves rather than talking it out?

Communication is SO vital in a relationship. It's what is causing issues in mine right now. I knew from the beginning MH was not the best talker, but we never fought, so I brushed it under the rug.

I think you said before he has issues with confrontation. This is something you need to decide if you can handle. I can handle a LOT of it with MH. The latest bit of his inability to communicate is tough. But, normally, I can handle giving him space after a fight until he is ready to talk. Is that something you can do? Because it sounds like he's not going to really be ready to talk after a fight. He's going to have to process it for a bit and maybe he won't even want to talk once he sorts them out. Like, he texted you after thinking it through this time. Maybe he will be a letter writer/etc. in the future rather than talker.

[achase123]

Sept 28, 2015 17:39:41 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

achase123-Yeah, if it wasn't really a BREAK-UP text, I'm not AS livid, but it was still shitty. AND majorly cowardly. I think a break is a good idea for you to figure out how you feel with this new information. I don't think he is necessarily a bad guy, but what does his reaction to basically cold feet when you all don't even live together mean for the future?

You plan to move in and he get's scared and just doesn't show on move in day?

You all get in a fight and he just shuts down and leaves rather than talking it out?

Communication is SO vital in a relationship. It's what is causing issues in mine right now. I knew from the beginning MH was not the best talker, but we never fought, so I brushed it under the rug.

I think you said before he has issues with confrontation. This is something you need to decide if you can handle. I can handle a LOT of it with MH. The latest bit of his inability to communicate is tough. But, normally, I can handle giving him space after a fight until he is ready to talk. Is that something you can do? Because it sounds like he's not going to really be ready to talk after a fight. He's going to have to process it for a bit and maybe he won't even want to talk once he sorts them out. Like, he texted you after thinking it through this time. Maybe he will be a letter writer/etc. in the future rather than talker.

I think this will be a good time for both of us to have some space and to think about everything you've mentioned. I appreciate you sharing your insight about your own experience with me for sure.

We haven't had a lot of problems to deal with thus far so it is good to have this perspective to see what happens.

I don't like being "in limbo" and undecided but this is one time I need to be patient and give mySelf time to evaluate. I did reach out to my counselor just haven't heard back yet.

I do know I was surprised how difficult last night was because I can be cold and defensive when I'm hurt I didn't do s very great job of not showing how hurt I am and he saw through that. I also am surprised how much I miss him during the day and how I want to text him something dumb or tell him something exciting and I can't. I felt such relief when W and I broke up so this is way different.

[imalwaysme79]

Random from an infrequent poster: I got engaged this weekend

[frontbutt]

I've never wanted to quit my job more than today.

I've been at this place for over a year and it's been great, but lately it seems like I have to spend more time managing egos rather than actually doing my job. A co-worker completely misinterpreted my email, and basically accused me of throwing her under the bus. Then before I could explain the confusion, she blew me off. To top it off, another clique of women in my department are sort of being jerks to this other male employee. I spoke to them about it today, and they were like, "Don't even go there. Don't get me started. Ugh." and didn't offer any explanation of why they were being asshats. I wish people would be professional. Can we just do our jobs and go home? 

I can't quit, but I swear to God on days like today...

Anyway, lots of DEEP BREATHING. 

On a happy note, my divorce was finalized last week. I had no idea until I got the paperwork in the mail. So, yay? I am happy it's finally over, and now I want to sell this house and move the hell on.

[redshoejune]

It was a long weekend but a pretty good one for me. My x sucks and I think I just have to keep going forward with that. I am done trying to have a good relationship with him for now, he keeps infuriating me by lying, especially about his girlfriend and her involvement with our kids.
I really enjoyed looking at the moon last night, but stayed up too late and have been tired all day.

[Deleted]

Sept 28, 2015 20:10:56 GMT -5 imalwaysme79 said:

Random from an infrequent poster: I got engaged this weekend

Congrats!!!