Starting to feel better

[achase123]

So my friend B came over last night and then I had a few other friends over. I talked to him about what was going on with J and got a guys perspective. He really kind of opened up my eyes a little bit. No matter what J "thinks" he's doing in this situation, he's not treating me with the love, courtesy and respect I would want from a relationship.

I feel like even if he does feel like he's doing the right thing to step back and contemplate things his method is what I'm completely uncomfortable with. How can you completely push aside someone you love and their feelings? When I asked to talk again the other night to apologize for wigging out, I wanted to do it in person. He was going fishing with his friends and brother until 7:30 or so and I had to wait until P was asleep until we could talk. So we agreed on 8:30. An hour before I got a text saying "for the sake of stress and my early morning can you please just call me?" It was pretty crushing to hear that. It felt cold and dismissive. If someone I loved wanted to talk I wouldn't even have gone fishing.

I also don't appreciate getting a random text here and there from him and then nothing. I feel like it's immature because there are bigger issues at hand than how my mud run went (which is what he asked about yesterday).

Anyways, I'm starting to feel better and realize my value. I feel like he's taking my feelings for granted and not holding my heart gently like someone who has a strong faith would.

So I wanted to share that things are getting easier!

[1confused1]

Hang in there.

When I broke up with M for the final time, I had to cut him out of my life completely (deleted his number in my phone, unfriended him on FB). He would send random FB messages saying "oh I thought I'd see you at this bar since we went there all the time" type shit and I finally had to let him know that what he was doing wasn't ok.

In regards to talking with him and him wanting you to call him instead: I had something very similar and I ended up telling M, if you really wanted to make this work, you would be at my door right now. It was very eye opening to see that I was the only one really working at the relationship.

[achase123]

Oct 4, 2015 10:58:34 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Hang in there.

When I broke up with M for the final time, I had to cut him out of my life completely (deleted his number in my phone, unfriended him on FB). He would send random FB messages saying "oh I thought I'd see you at this bar since we went there all the time" type shit and I finally had to let him know that what he was doing wasn't ok.

In regards to talking with him and him wanting you to call him instead: I had something very similar and I ended up telling M, if you really wanted to make this work, you would be at my door right now. It was very eye opening to see that I was the only one really working at the relationship.

Thank you! I appreciate you sharing that experience. When I told my guy friend about that he was shocked. He's very sweet and diplomatic and he was like "am, that's a lame excuse. That's ridiculous".

[Deleted]

Ugggg I'm so sorry. And I agree with 1confused1 and your friend. He's not making an effort. Part of me wonders if he just doesn't want to be the "bad guy" so he's pretending to try.

[achase123]

Oct 4, 2015 16:04:30 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Ugggg I'm so sorry. And I agree with 1confused1 and your friend. He's not making an effort. Part of me wonders if he just doesn't want to be the "bad guy" so he's pretending to try.

That's a really good point!

[pandora]

I'm glad you're feeling better. You deserve so much more respect and kindness.

[achase123]

Update on the situation; I sent him a text last night asking him to please not reach out to me unless and until he's ready to have a mature discussion about us and if I'm still open to it then we can talk. He responded with "of course!" That was it. I'm just flabbergasted by the lack of respect, consideration and maturity.

[pandora]

Oh, that was flip and rude. Honestly, I would delete his number and would consider blocking it. He doesn't deserve any more of your attention. I would have no respect for him anymore. I'm mad for you!


edited for spelling

[somersault72]

It sounds like you're doing great. I'm glad you were able to talk to your friend so he could help you realize you're worth so much more than what you're being given right now. Onward and upward!

[glynn]

Oct 6, 2015 8:40:23 GMT -5 somersault72 said:

It sounds like you're doing great. I'm glad you were able to talk to your friend so he could help you realize you're worth so much more than what you're being given right now. Onward and upward!

This!!! Is is hard when you are in it but you deserve better.

[Deleted]

Wow, his response is so immature. I can't remember who said it before, but you definitely dodged a bullet on this one. I'm sure it doesn't feel that simple now, but I'm happy you're feeling better, and his continued horrible communication is a huge indication of the kind of person he is. You definitely deserve better!

[jojoandleo]

Oct 5, 2015 20:05:37 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Update on the situation; I sent him a text last night asking him to please not reach out to me unless and until he's ready to have a mature discussion about us and if I'm still open to it then we can talk. He responded with "of course!" That was it. I'm just flabbergasted by the lack of respect, consideration and maturity.

Fuck him. He is dumb.