I need life advice/a kick in the ass

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

Are there any classes or volunteer groups near you that you might be interested in? You can meet a lot of people, in a casual, low pressure way, that way.

[lucky513]

have you looked into getting a roomate around your age?

[hubes]

For me, I had to decide enough was enough and change shit.

Sign up for MFP, first of all. Secondly, join a club or a group or take a class.

Why is he your ex?

[EmilieMadison]

Join a class or group (knitting, book club, anything), join a gym and sign up for group fitness classes! Those things alone will not only help you to meet more people, but will improve your physical wellbeing and health, which will improve your mood
Hang in there! You have a lot to offer the world, so give it to 'em!

[speckledfrog]

We all feel like this at one point or another. Life won't change just because you want it to, you need to take steps. Little, realistic steps. Make a list and then do the things on the list. It will make you feel worlds better.

[eb777888]

I agree with everything already said. I would just make a decision to take charge of my life-- join MFP, find a hobby, come to the get together :-) If what you're doing isn't working, mix it up! Join clubs, volunteer, make new friends.

[underwaterrhymes]

You need to read this thread.

community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/64175286.aspx

You are just getting started in life. 26 is young. You have so much ahead of you. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? Write your goals down and start making them happen. It's okay to feel the way you do - everyone does every now and then - but the biggest thing to realize is that you have the power to change things for yourself. I promise.

[speckledfrog]

Aug 22, 2012 21:23:06 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it.

I'm going to start making a list of ways I can improve my life. I have to get my ass in gear.

Realistic goals! Nothing shoots you in the foot faster than going for the end goal instead of the beginning steps.

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

I agree with speckled. Pick ONE thing, that is a weekly commitment. Don't decide you're going to VOLUNTEER and CROCHET and SPIN! Little, tiny, baby steps.

[maggiemoo]

I think it's hard having that much weighing on your mind. Make a list of what you want to change. Depending on your personality, pick just one. Either start with the hard stuff or not. I think once you work on one issue, it will be easier to tackle the rest. Everything else will fall into place.

[saraandmichael]

I am just going to pretend like I am you be who I am today telling my mid-20s self what to do.

1. Its just weight. Its not the end of the world, so don't be a dick and let the sadness of the extra pounds being there keep you from losing them. Get off your ass, get to a gym, work with a trainer for a bit and start feeling good about yourself.

2. Stop buying shitty food. Stop buying gummy coke bottles. If you are hungry then eat an apple. If you aren't hungry enough to eat the apple then don't eat.

3. Drink more water. A ton of it. You will look and feel so much better.

4. Sleep more. Sometimes like your life depends on it.

5. Stop talking to your ex and get the hell out there and meet people. You don't have to date them, but you are filling a void with something that isn't going to offer you happiness some years down the road.

6. Find some type of fun thing to do...a yoga class, a pottery class, a wine club. And them make yourself go to it whenever it meets. Monthly, weekly, whatever. Stop making excuses and go.

7. Don't be so hard on yourself. You will become so much more comfortable in your own skin after you turn 30. So keep working at finding things you like, but know that in a few years it is all going to get so much better because you will just start to really love and accept who you are. And so many of the insecurities you posses are going to fall by the wayside.

[sunflower22]

Are you an introvert? I am and I could totally see myself doing this if I lived alone. It's easy to just go home and stay in the same patterns. I'm convinced the only reason I'm not a hobbit is my outgoing husband pulling me out of my comfort zone. But since you're writing this post, it sounds like you're ready to make some changes! Good for you! Start small and work your way up.

[snatchparade]

Find a gym with group classes. Most gyms have a variety of classes, from strength training, zumba, kickboxing, pilates, yoga, etc. Sign up for some classes, see what works for you. You'll meet people, you'll start getting yourself into shape, and you'll feel 100x better about yourself.

Start with small changes and see what works. The hardest part is making the decision to change yourself and following through. You can do it!

[sunflower22]

Aug 22, 2012 21:49:46 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

Aug 22, 2012 21:46:23 GMT -5 sunflower22 said:

Are you an introvert? I am and I could totally see myself doing this if I lived alone. It's easy to just go home and stay in the same patterns. I'm convinced the only reason I'm not a hobbit is my outgoing husband pulling me out of my comfort zone. But since you're writing this post, it sounds like you're ready to make some changes! Good for you! Start small and work your way up.

Very much so. I'm shy and quiet at first so I don't have an easy time making friends.

Well then don't be so hard on yourself Once you start up some of your hobbies again I bet it'll be easier to make friends w people who already share common interests.

[Awkward]

Hi, creepy lurker from MM here. I'm pretty sure you are my future self if I hadn't decided I needed a change. I'm 24, have a shit job, few friends around here, live at home, and have a long distance boyfriend.

Do you like your job? I've decided mine is negatively impacting my quality of life and mental health. So I started thinking about how I ended up with this job and where I want to go from here. I decided I want to get out of this industry, AND that I want to move back closer to where I went to college and closer to my SO. I am very close to getting a job offer in a new city, one with enough money for me to live on my own.

But I'm not. I lived alone my senior year of college, and I did a lot of what you described, I isolated myself and put on weight. I don't care how much money I'll be making, living alone isn't healthy for me, and it sounds like it might not be healthy for you either. Know your limitations.

Friends. I made a long "woe is me I have no friends" post on MM a few months ago that got some good suggestions. The best and most obvious one: are there any GBCNers around you? Another MMer is one of my good friends now and even having one close friend has helped my self esteem enormously. Taking classes works depending on the class. I took one that ended up being full of SAHMs with multiple small children. There was no one there who wanted to go out for drinks on Friday night; know your audience.

Dating situation. Stop talking to him. Send him a Christmas card once a year, but that's it. It's not healthy for you to keep him around, no matter how good friends you might be now. Like Sue Sue said, he's getting an ego-boner from how you need him in your life. I guarantee he don't need you. I get that long distance is really REALLY hard. SO and I are going on 3 years. Once I make the move we'll be just over an hour apart rather than almost three. I told him he is welcome to join me, but this move is about my need to get out of a rut as much as it is being closer to him.

I know a lot of this means nothing since I'm still in the transition period, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone. The 25 year olds with husbands, 3 kids, 6 figure jobs, and gorgeous houses are the freaks, not us. I think you'll figure out your next steps pretty quickly.

eta: your signature cracks me up every time. I just watched that episode last night!

[leahmel]

SueSue is a wise wise woman.

I was in your perdicament around your age (I am 30 now). What I did was move to a new town, get involved in new hobbies, join meetup groups, started online dating, started a fitness routine... At first it was scary as hell putting myself out there and going outside of my comfort zone. (I have moderate social anxiety) Once I started getting to know a few people and picking up hobbies that I enjoyed I really started to blossom. Your late 20's are a time to cultivate yourself and become who you are supposed to be. Experiment with different activities, join different clubs/groups,volunteer, meet different types of people, travel if you can, be active. Go outside of your comfort zone, that is my biggest advice. If you don't like something or a certain group of people, you never have to see them or do it again! At least you can say that you tried it and can rule that out and move on to the next thing/group of people. I felt kind of paralyzed by my situation, which is hard to just overcome. Each day take a new baby step towards a new life, even on the days when you just don't feel like it!

I know that stuck in a rut feeling all too well, but I am a true testament to the fact that you can turn it all around and feel good about your life.

Start by writing down how you want things to be, then the things you can do to get there. Good luck, and PM me anytime if you want to chat, ok?