Needing motherly advice

[ohiowan]

But first--I just started lurking/posting here this week, so hello!

I just started back to work this week after 5 months off with my newborn. I only get to see him about 2 hours while he's awake now, and I feel like he never smiles at me or giggles for me now. He smiles like crazy at my husband and the women at daycare though. I feel like he doesn't know me now.

Is this just in my head? Or a normal phase from starting day care?

[eddy]

I totally had this fear with my first. I promise it is just a phase or you are just catching him at his tired/cranky time of the day. As painful as it sounds I started getting up early with my first so I could catch those early morning happy baby time. Hang in there it is an adjustment!

[cleo29]

I can't speak from experience, but I do know that the last two hours before my baby goes to bed are generally not a pleasure cruise. She is hungry, tired, cranky, etc.

I'm sorry I'm guessing this is normal and I imagine a tough transition for both of you.

[OHMBLEEGOHHHHH!]

What cleo said. You're still very special to him.

[Dezi]

I feel your pain. I just returned to work after 5 YEARS home with my kids. When I come home they seem to want nothing to do with me and it's heartbreaking. I really think I'm just catching them at a cranky time. I also think my guilt is making me see things that aren't really there. Give yourself time, I'm sure that it's normal and it will get better.

[cleo29]

You made me cry, Sue. Not cool, not cool.

[bananapancakes]

That was beautiful, Sue Sue. I hope your son has a great experience at college. He has a great mama!

[Deleted]

Geez Sue, it's water works central for me tonight.

To OP, I remember feeling this way when I had to go back to work too. Your baby absolutely knows who you are, they know your voice, your smell, your laugh, your smile, etc.. Right now you are just catching her at the end of her day and she is tired. She knows her mama. Just cover her in kisses and make those two hours count.

Also, you will come to find that children save their crappy behavior for mom. My son can be happy as a clam all day. When I pick him up from daycare it can be melt down city sometimes. Just because he is tried, and mom is finally there.

[Deleted]

I'm going back to work Monday and my baby is 5 months old, too. I worry about this. I'm glad I'm not the only one who does.

That said, Sue Sue made me tear up, and I know she's right. I've never seen it put so eloquently though. Beautiful.

[statlerwaldorf]

I wouldn't worry about it. He absolutely knows who you are. Changes can be overstimulating and he might just be tired when you see him. I think a lot of kids go through a phase where they appear to prefer one parent. DD went through phases back and forth. It was heartbreaking because I felt like she liked DH better, but before I knew it she was only wanting me and that was exhausting. It went like that back and forth.

[angelaa73]

Relax. I guarantee you're the love of his life! You know what I think? I think wee ones are super amazeballs at picking up nonverbal cues and tension, since they can't communicate otherwise. So relax and he will too.

[ohiowan]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and reassurance. Now that i've gotten a good cry in, I can start my day . I woke up at four to cuddle him for a while before I had to get ready. Starting next week, there will be some nights I won't get home until 10 or 11PM after going in at 630a. Would you wake your little one up to cuddle and eat getting home that late, or let them sleep and spend time together in the morning? That's only going to last until late october, then I'll get to be home by 4. (I teach and coach)