I HAVEN'T SLEPT AT ALL

[Deleted]

I live in the ghetto. Not in the cute "my house is only 2000 sq ft, it's soooo gross until we get our granite countertops" way, like the real ghetto. Normally it's totally cool - I actually enjoy the different flavors we've got going on, mainly bc I'm nosey.

But now all the juicy stuff is happening at night, and I'm totally creepy, so I have to eavesdrop on the whole thing. A couple of neighbors got in a huge drawn out fight last night. Naturally, I went out on the patio so I could witness the whole thing while calculating the statistical probability of getting stabbed.

It was like a remix of Precioius/Real World/Flava Flav/Maury.

There were three couples: Couple A, Couple B, & Couple C. H of Couple A got wife of Couple B pregnant, and is also sleeping with wife C. Husband of C didn't care bc he "spread he seed where it want to grow too" but got pissed for "calling his lady out - be respectful to your ho". H of B is pissed all around. It's a clusterfuck three drunk dudes running around a parking lot, doing these slow ass sloth punch throws, and the wives taking turns either pulling each others hair - and then having these weird kumbyah Ya-Ya SisterHood moment - and then back to calling each other a slut.

And then one of the chicks lost her flip flop in a tree and the dudes fought about who was going to get the shoe.

Those fuckers never quit. I left for the gym at 4am and they were STILL going at it. Which is selfish really, bc now I don't know how it all ended. Now I haven't slept at all and will totally be delirious by the end of the day - and it's all these jokers faults bc they didn't start this discussion until 10pm.


Sidenote: Black people arguments involve so much more exercise than white people arguments. They were running around EVERYWHERE - sprinting, hurdling, probably some jogging in place. I know drinking was involved, but it was totally MESMERIZING just thinking of the stamina that had to be involved. I felt like a little bitch doing my C25K run at the gym afterward.

[mrsbro]

This was the best part of apartment living!


Sent from my VS910 4G using proboards

[thinkofthesoldiers]

This is awesome. I like the 'respect your ho' aspect. Hos need respect too, yo.

[Deleted]

I'm hoping for an encore, bc I feel after 7 hours I deserve some closure dammit.

[Deleted]

Hahaha I thought about it when I was typing it, but I figured it was like a thank you card comparison since it was genuinely impressive.

[Deleted]

Draaaaaaaaaaaama!!!!!!!

Jake hates that I like eavesdropping.

[Deleted]

haha. that's great. I love hearing stuff like this but I would hate to live there and deal with that nonsense.

I really want to know how it ended.

Ditto PP on getting it on video.

[Deleted]

Jealous!

The couple that used to have massive screaming fits in the middle of the street (sometimes with friends involved) recently moved out. I have no one to judge anymore.

Send some of those people up my way. I too eavesdrop like it's my job when this starts.