Can we do a FFFC?

[Mrs.Rad888]

Oct 9, 2015 22:13:13 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

I just got back from a first date.

He told me that in July and August he had no sex drive

WTF WHY SAY THAT TO SOMEONE YOU JUST MET

Wasn't this an early episode of Friends? 
Maybe he's hoping that you see it as a challenge to break his streak. You know, to "put the snap back in his turtle."

[abcdefu]

Oct 9, 2015 14:23:47 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I am shaking upset at some of the responses in an ML thread dealing with a judge sentencing a DV victim to 3 days jail for contempt. I just feel like DV victims are the least understood, and most blamed out of all victims. Yes, they go back, A LOT. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I wish people would just leave and leave for good the first time. Yes, I wish they all would press charges and testify. But I also understand, the mind frame of a VICTIM, is not the mind frame of someone on the outside. That it's not as easy as "just leave" "Just show up to court."

I really just want to cry. And hug everyone. And live in my liberal hippy bubble.

I saw this on tv last night and my heart broke for that woman. The judge re-victimized the victim. I was so upset and angry watching the video. There was an almost abcdefu-shaped hole in my television. I hope she gets thrown off the bench. Disgusting!

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2015 22:13:13 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

I just got back from a first date.

He told me that in July and August he had no sex drive

WTF WHY SAY THAT TO SOMEONE YOU JUST MET

*-) Ummm....odd. 

[alleinesein]

So one of my old friends from high school just moved back into town. We both applied for jobs at the same company. She is a SAHM and has no work experience for the past 10+ years. She scored 2 interviews and was offered the position today; I got a rejection letter telling me that I was not qualified. WTF?!?!?!?! 

I occasionally give FWB shit/tease him when he goofs up on something easy.  He has a PhD but the simplest things can get him all flustered.  

[bl]

I went to a concert and got entirely too drunk and fell and lost my drivers license before the night was over. I have never had a night like that in my 15 years of drinking. I skinned my knees, elbow AND FACE really bad plus twisted my ankle to the point that it's swollen and black and blue. I did all this 2 nights before my best friends wedding that I am in. Thank goodness makeup covered it up like 80% and our dresses were long. As much as I feel like an ass and hope to god I can still fly with no id, I can't say I didn't have fun.

[cuddlyevil]

bl, do you have your passport? You can use that.

[bl]

Oct 10, 2015 8:54:33 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

bl, do you have your passport? You can use that.

No, and it's still in my maiden name. I didn't bring my SS card either so I can't even go get a new Id while im in Texas (I still haven't changed over to florida). I've read online in several places that if you get there early it's possible to fly with minimal to no identification, I just hope it's true

[celeste]

Oct 10, 2015 8:57:09 GMT -5 bl said:

Oct 10, 2015 8:54:33 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

bl, do you have your passport? You can use that.

No, and it's still in my maiden name. I didn't bring my SS card either so I can't even go get a new Id while im in Texas (I still haven't changed over to florida). I've read online in several places that if you get there early it's possible to fly with minimal to no identification, I just hope it's true

My H lost his DL on a trip recently and at security he had to show everything he had with him that had his name and mailing address (mail, paycheck, etc.). Just be sure to leave yourself lots of extra time and print off anything you can that proves who you are.

[Deleted]

Good luck bl. Hope you're able to get home ok. 

[Deleted]

Oct 10, 2015 14:59:43 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Oct 9, 2015 16:20:50 GMT -5 @wandering said:

I think I gave you some tips previously, but if you have any last minute questions, feel free to PM me and I can see if I can help. 

What would you think of adding a tour of a Makuleke Village? The lodge we are in is in their section of the park and its offered as a side day trip.

Ok I know nothing about that area except that it's in Limpopo which is a beautiful area. I'd need to know more about the tour to have an opinion.

Personally I'm against any of those kind of township/village tours where they seem to be like "hey let's look at all these poor brown people in their neighborhoods" like they're zoo animals. But if this is something different than that, disregard my advice. Limpopo is a beautiful area.

[sparkythelawyer]

Oct 9, 2015 16:14:42 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:20:17 GMT -5 glynn said:

I am currently trying to do that..... I hate this... I have only twice every been with someone who physically I was really attracted to and I want that. I hate hurting people.

Fat and ugly girl chiming in- don't waste his time.  He deserves someone who is fine with all of him and won't care if he isn't physically perfect.

I think this is a little unfair.  She's not saying she needs physically perfect.  She needs "physically perfect for her," which is different for every person.  I'm not hearing her say she needs Matt Damon.

[alleinesein]

Oct 12, 2015 12:43:01 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Oct 9, 2015 16:14:42 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

Fat and ugly girl chiming in- don't waste his time.  He deserves someone who is fine with all of him and won't care if he isn't physically perfect.

I think this is a little unfair.  She's not saying she needs physically perfect.  She needs "physically perfect for her," which is different for every person.  I'm not hearing her say she needs Matt Damon.

Um I am well aware the everyone has their ideal of what is physically perfect for them; I'm not an idiot.  Nor did I ever imply that OP was looking for "matt damon" or anyone else.  

But as someone who has been online dating for a few years it is not fair to the other person to continue to lead them on or date them if you have no interest in them physically.  

Would you want to waste your time trying to get to know someone who thought that you weren't physically attractive?  If you meet someone and there is no spark/attraction/physical connection and that is something that you are seeking then it is best to walk away so that the other person can find someone who is attracted to them.

[Deleted]

[cuddlyevil]

Oct 12, 2015 15:12:24 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

Oct 12, 2015 12:43:01 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

I think this is a little unfair.  She's not saying she needs physically perfect.  She needs "physically perfect for her," which is different for every person.  I'm not hearing her say she needs Matt Damon.

Um I am well aware the everyone has their ideal of what is physically perfect for them; I'm not an idiot.  Nor did I ever imply that OP was looking for "matt damon" or anyone else.  

But as someone who has been online dating for a few years it is not fair to the other person to continue to lead them on or date them if you have no interest in them physically.  

Would you want to waste your time trying to get to know someone who thought that you weren't physically attractive?  If you meet someone and there is no spark/attraction/physical connection and that is something that you are seeking then it is best to walk away so that the other person can find someone who is attracted to them.

So we should nix someone we have intellectual chemistry with just because we may not be physically attracted to them initially? 

I can see nixing someone if there are no other attractions (sense of humor, intelligence, etc.). But to assume physical attraction is the be all and end all seems extreme.

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2015 15:49:34 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

Oct 12, 2015 15:12:24 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

Um I am well aware the everyone has their ideal of what is physically perfect for them; I'm not an idiot.  Nor did I ever imply that OP was looking for "matt damon" or anyone else.  

But as someone who has been online dating for a few years it is not fair to the other person to continue to lead them on or date them if you have no interest in them physically.  

Would you want to waste your time trying to get to know someone who thought that you weren't physically attractive?  If you meet someone and there is no spark/attraction/physical connection and that is something that you are seeking then it is best to walk away so that the other person can find someone who is attracted to them.

So we should nix someone we have intellectual chemistry with just because we may not be physically attracted to them initially? 

I can see nixing someone if there are no other attractions (sense of humor, intelligence, etc.). But to assume physical attraction is the be all and end all seems extreme.

Way to be an idiot.  

[alleinesein]

Oct 12, 2015 15:49:34 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

Oct 12, 2015 15:12:24 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

Um I am well aware the everyone has their ideal of what is physically perfect for them; I'm not an idiot.  Nor did I ever imply that OP was looking for "matt damon" or anyone else.  

But as someone who has been online dating for a few years it is not fair to the other person to continue to lead them on or date them if you have no interest in them physically.  

Would you want to waste your time trying to get to know someone who thought that you weren't physically attractive?  If you meet someone and there is no spark/attraction/physical connection and that is something that you are seeking then it is best to walk away so that the other person can find someone who is attracted to them.

So we should nix someone we have intellectual chemistry with just because we may not be physically attracted to them initially? 

I can see nixing someone if there are no other attractions (sense of humor, intelligence, etc.). But to assume physical attraction is the be all and end all seems extreme.

The OP had posted that she WANTS the physical attraction.  If that is what SHE WANTS then she needs to let the guy in question find someone else.  She straight up stated that she wants someone who she physically attracted to and she isn't with the guy in question.  I did not issue a blanket statement for every situation; I was responding to what she said in her post.   

[cuddlyevil]

I get that and if she's not into him then she needs to say something.

But you're being a little aggressive here.

[jigsy]

To be fair to @alleinsein -this is FFFCs...so flames were expected
And the poster said something like "I've been overweight and have worked to lose it..." which to me feels like a dick thing to say because she's assuming this guy is a slob who isn't trying to take care of himself, or at least isn't going to give him the chance to show it.
I dunno, we all want to be attracted to the person we are with, but it feels a bit harsh to go out with a dude who you already knew was bigger, then claim he's great except you'd never want a fatty because you yourself worked hard to get away from it.

[1confused1]

I wasn't physically attracted to my xh when I first met him. His personality and charm won me over first.

[jellymankelly]

Oct 12, 2015 19:31:53 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

I don't think I've ever had an experience where someone was my type personality wise and not physically. I think I'm physically attracted to guys that turn me on with intellect and humor.

This is also my experience. I've dated all types - from the traditionally "hot" guys, to the less obvious ones. They've all been physically attractive to me because there are other things I find attractive. I can be blind to a whole lot of imperfections if you're talented, or smart, or funny.

[Deleted]

Oct 12, 2015 20:14:46 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

Oct 12, 2015 19:31:53 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

I don't think I've ever had an experience where someone was my type personality wise and not physically. I think I'm physically attracted to guys that turn me on with intellect and humor.

This is also my experience. I've dated all types - from the traditionally "hot" guys, to the less obvious ones. They've all been physically attractive to me because there are other things I find attractive. I can be blind to a whole lot of imperfections if you're talented, or smart, or funny.

Same. If I'm attracted to a person, I'm attracted to them. It's pretty and white to me. I've never been attracted to a personaily but them phyiscally. Maybe upon first glance I might not find someone phiscally attractive, but they become attractive as I warm up to their personality.

[Mrs.Rad888]

Oct 12, 2015 20:14:46 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

Oct 12, 2015 19:31:53 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

I don't think I've ever had an experience where someone was my type personality wise and not physically. I think I'm physically attracted to guys that turn me on with intellect and humor.

This is also my experience. I've dated all types - from the traditionally "hot" guys, to the less obvious ones. They've all been physically attractive to me because there are other things I find attractive. I can be blind to a whole lot of imperfections if you're talented, or smart, or funny.

Definitely. It's kind of funny how someone gets better looking as you get to know them and develop feelings. I've gone out with guys that I didn't think were very good looking when we first met, but as their personality comes through, it definitely affects how I see them. I've also gone out with guys who were good looking at first, then once their personality comes through, they're not so hot.

It's also funny how you don't notice stuff, like morning breath, when you first start falling for someone, but later in the relationship, when maybe there aren't so many butterflies, that morning breath will knock you over.

[jojoandleo]

Oct 12, 2015 19:31:53 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

I don't think I've ever had an experience where someone was my type personality wise and not physically. I think I'm physically attracted to guys that turn me on with intellect and humor.

I'd agree with this to an extent. I'm sure there are guys that are amazingly funny and smart that I just never LOOK AT in that way, and never develop anything other than friendship.  Physicality just IS a part of it biologically.  If you were attracted to anyone who was your type of personality, then there would be no friendships with your chosen sex.  If I love your personality and don't want to fuck you, we are friends.  LOL.

[jojoandleo]

Oct 13, 2015 10:55:44 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Oct 13, 2015 8:40:13 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I'd agree with this to an extent. I'm sure there are guys that are amazingly funny and smart that I just never LOOK AT in that way, and never develop anything other than friendship.  Physicality just IS a part of it biologically.  If you were attracted to anyone who was your type of personality, then there would be no friendships with your chosen sex.  If I love your personality and don't want to fuck you, we are friends.  LOL.

Point taken. I guess I just think there is some sort of chemistry that doesn't seem to be based purely on the physical side. I have dated short, tall, thin, stocky, dark light etc. I can't figure out the common theme.

Agreed.  Attraction is not PURELY physical.  There are some guy I originally thought were attractive UNTIL they talked, so it goes both ways.  I just think no matter what, physicality is still a part, even if a minor one.