Can we do a FFFC?

[Deleted]

I'll start. I have a few:
I'm sort of drunk at 12:15 and taking a conference call from my dad's kitchen.
Two monthish ago I slept with my exboyfriend who I hadn't seen in 1.5 years (don't worry I never talked to him again)
I'm suddenly getting a shit load of hair in weird places (tell me I'm not alone!)
My feelers were ridiculous when I got a super minor flaming for thinking A was fading

[jojoandleo]

I am shaking upset at some of the responses in an ML thread dealing with a judge sentencing a DV victim to 3 days jail for contempt. I just feel like DV victims are the least understood, and most blamed out of all victims. Yes, they go back, A LOT. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I wish people would just leave and leave for good the first time. Yes, I wish they all would press charges and testify. But I also understand, the mind frame of a VICTIM, is not the mind frame of someone on the outside. That it's not as easy as "just leave" "Just show up to court."

I really just want to cry. And hug everyone. And live in my liberal hippy bubble.

[glynn]

I meet guy I have been texting.... Physically he does not do it for me. Everything else is great. I love the ego boost he gives me but I need to tell him. I have been trying to back away....... I am sad about it all.... WHY.... I knew he was a bigger guy but I was trying to give it a chance.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2015 14:23:47 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I am shaking upset at some of the responses in an ML thread dealing with a judge sentencing a DV victim to 3 days jail for contempt. I just feel like DV victims are the least understood, and most blamed out of all victims. Yes, they go back, A LOT. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I wish people would just leave and leave for good the first time. Yes, I wish they all would press charges and testify. But I also understand, the mind frame of a VICTIM, is not the mind frame of someone on the outside. That it's not as easy as "just leave" "Just show up to court."

I really just want to cry. And hug everyone. And live in my liberal hippy bubble.

AMEN!It's not as easy as saying "oh a child is involved" "you are beligerant." NO SHIT you and your child were threatened. I would be a mess of anger and fright to. This is why I work in shades of gray. ALSO wtf to that judge. Maybe a "I know this is so hard. I need you to be strong and we need you to be strong for your child." Also why the fuck can't people testify without the accused in the room?

[jojoandleo]

Oct 9, 2015 14:41:04 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 9, 2015 14:23:47 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I am shaking upset at some of the responses in an ML thread dealing with a judge sentencing a DV victim to 3 days jail for contempt. I just feel like DV victims are the least understood, and most blamed out of all victims. Yes, they go back, A LOT. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I wish people would just leave and leave for good the first time. Yes, I wish they all would press charges and testify. But I also understand, the mind frame of a VICTIM, is not the mind frame of someone on the outside. That it's not as easy as "just leave" "Just show up to court."

I really just want to cry. And hug everyone. And live in my liberal hippy bubble.

AMEN!It's not as easy as saying "oh a child is involved" "you are beligerant." NO SHIT you and your child were threatened. I would be a mess of anger and fright to. This is why I work in shades of gray. ALSO wtf to that judge. Maybe a "I know this is so hard. I need you to be strong and we need you to be strong for your child." Also why the fuck can't people testify without the accused in the room?

Right to confront.  BUT, you can testify via video feed, etc.  But, yeah, the accused is entitled to know what you are saying against them.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2015 14:39:13 GMT -5 glynn said:

I meet guy I have been texting.... Physically he does not do it for me. Everything else is great. I love the ego boost he gives me but I need to tell him. I have been trying to back away....... I am sad about it all.... WHY.... I knew he was a bigger guy but I was trying to give it a chance.

This is why I say NO to not meeting in person as soon as possible. I'm sorry. It's my number one dating testimate. Meet as soon as possible, keep texting casual. Anyway I think we've all been there, done that.

[calle28]

Oct 9, 2015 14:39:13 GMT -5 glynn said:

I meet guy I have been texting.... Physically he does not do it for me. Everything else is great. I love the ego boost he gives me but I need to tell him. I have been trying to back away....... I am sad about it all.... WHY.... I knew he was a bigger guy but I was trying to give it a chance.

I dated a bigger guy once. I saw he was big on his profile, but like you, had an open mind and wanted to give it a chance.

The sooner you tell him, the better! I always sucked at ending things with guys. But it's all part of dating.

[calle28]

My flameful, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6 weeks and I'm falling hard, like, I want to say I love you. But I won't because it feels like it's way too soon.

[glynn]

I could not meet him right away he works out of town often and such. I hate it because he ticks a lot of my boxes off. Now I don't want to hurt his feelings he is a good guy. I have been bigger and told him so.... I feel good about myself now with 60lbs lost and working on it daily.

[calle28]

Oct 9, 2015 15:07:44 GMT -5 glynn said:

I could not meet him right away he works out of town often and such. I hate it because he ticks a lot of my boxes off. Now I don't want to hurt his feelings he is a good guy. I have been bigger and told him so.... I feel good about myself now with 60lbs lost and working on it daily.

I know it's hard not to feel bad, I always felt bad when I ended things. But you guys have only gone out one time and you both deserve to be with someone who you're physically attracted to. You're doing him a favor by letting him go.

[glynn]

Oct 9, 2015 15:17:01 GMT -5 calle28 said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:07:44 GMT -5 glynn said:

I could not meet him right away he works out of town often and such. I hate it because he ticks a lot of my boxes off. Now I don't want to hurt his feelings he is a good guy. I have been bigger and told him so.... I feel good about myself now with 60lbs lost and working on it daily.

I know it's hard not to feel bad, I always felt bad when I ended things. But you guys have only gone out one time and you both deserve to be with someone who you're physically attracted to. You're doing him a favor by letting him go.

I am currently trying to do that..... I hate this... I have only twice every been with someone who physically I was really attracted to and I want that. I hate hurting people.

[calle28]

Where are you going @32flavors?

[jojoandleo]

I'm going to leave work and go "work from home."

[calle28]

Oct 9, 2015 15:39:54 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:23:10 GMT -5 calle28 said:

Where are you going @32flavors?

2 nights in joberg, 3 on safari in northern Kruger and 3 nights in Cape Town, followed by a 24hr layover in Amsterdam

That sounds amazing! Are you going solo?

[jigsy]

Oct 9, 2015 15:43:34 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:41:02 GMT -5 calle28 said:

That sounds amazing! Are you going solo?

No, with a friend from here actually! (I'm StPete, the friend from here is ltp but she doesn't post anymore.

How did I not know this!

Hey stranger!

Hope you have an amazing trip!

[alleinesein]

Oct 9, 2015 15:20:17 GMT -5 glynn said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:17:01 GMT -5 calle28 said:

I know it's hard not to feel bad, I always felt bad when I ended things. But you guys have only gone out one time and you both deserve to be with someone who you're physically attracted to. You're doing him a favor by letting him go.

I am currently trying to do that..... I hate this... I have only twice every been with someone who physically I was really attracted to and I want that. I hate hurting people.

Fat and ugly girl chiming in- don't waste his time.  He deserves someone who is fine with all of him and won't care if he isn't physically perfect.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2015 15:05:59 GMT -5 calle28 said:

My flameful, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6 weeks and I'm falling hard, like, I want to say I love you. But I won't because it feels like it's way too soon.

Aww! Is this the guy you weren't head of heels physically attracted to at first?

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2015 15:43:34 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:41:02 GMT -5 calle28 said:

That sounds amazing! Are you going solo?

No, with a friend from here actually! (I'm StPete, the friend from here is ltp but she doesn't post anymore.

I think I gave you some tips previously, but if you have any last minute questions, feel free to PM me and I can see if I can help. 

[calle28]

Oct 9, 2015 16:19:23 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:05:59 GMT -5 calle28 said:

My flameful, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6 weeks and I'm falling hard, like, I want to say I love you. But I won't because it feels like it's way too soon.

Aww! Is this the guy you weren't head of heels physically attracted to at first?

Yes, I'm so glad I gave it a chance! Yeah, I'm taller than him when I wear heels and I'm bigger than him, but who cares!

[calle28]

Oct 9, 2015 16:08:18 GMT -5 jigsy said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:43:34 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

No, with a friend from here actually! (I'm StPete, the friend from here is ltp but she doesn't post anymore.

How did I not know this!

Hey stranger!

Hope you have an amazing trip!

I didn't know either!

Hey girl!

[glynn]

Oct 9, 2015 16:14:42 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

Oct 9, 2015 15:20:17 GMT -5 glynn said:

I am currently trying to do that..... I hate this... I have only twice every been with someone who physically I was really attracted to and I want that. I hate hurting people.

Fat and ugly girl chiming in- don't waste his time.  He deserves someone who is fine with all of him and won't care if he isn't physically perfect.

See this is my problem, I by no means need or want physically perfect. I did not have it with my X. I do want someone that I am fine with that is why I was giving it a chance. He keeps making comments about me and fishing for me to return them. I take a little time to warm up to people, it may be something I can deal with but I don't feel right stringing him along while I am trying to decide. He is not for sure a "no".  I have had several of those. It's what makes this hard.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2015 16:22:36 GMT -5 calle28 said:

Oct 9, 2015 16:19:23 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Aww! Is this the guy you weren't head of heels physically attracted to at first?

Yes, I'm so glad I gave it a chance! Yeah, I'm taller than him when I wear heels and I'm bigger than him, but who cares!

Yay I'm glad you gave it a chance. I remember telling you I felt the same way about my current boyfriend. We also spent a lot of time together in the beginning and moved "too fast" according to the "rules." (Didn't say I love you though), but I didn't give a fuck. Do what makes you happy!

[Eureka1984]

Oct 9, 2015 14:43:40 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Oct 9, 2015 14:39:13 GMT -5 glynn said:

I meet guy I have been texting.... Physically he does not do it for me. Everything else is great. I love the ego boost he gives me but I need to tell him. I have been trying to back away....... I am sad about it all.... WHY.... I knew he was a bigger guy but I was trying to give it a chance.

This is why I say NO to not meeting in person as soon as possible. I'm sorry. It's my number one dating testimate. Meet as soon as possible, keep texting casual. Anyway I think we've all been there, done that.

This is also one of my biggest dating testimates. I am so sorry. Please tell him sooner rather than later. Dating sucks sometimes

[jigsy]

Oct 9, 2015 17:22:38 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Oct 9, 2015 16:20:50 GMT -5 @wandering said:

I think I gave you some tips previously, but if you have any last minute questions, feel free to PM me and I can see if I can help. 

You have, thank you!!

jigsy I've not been here much and I haven't really advertised the change when I am here. Hi!! Come visit soon ☀️??

I believe I will be there in January

[jojoandleo]

Oct 9, 2015 17:22:38 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Oct 9, 2015 16:20:50 GMT -5 @wandering said:

I think I gave you some tips previously, but if you have any last minute questions, feel free to PM me and I can see if I can help. 

You have, thank you!!

jigsy I've not been here much and I haven't really advertised the change when I am here. Hi!! Come visit soon ☀️??

Hiiiiiiii! I didn't know that, but I understand the not advertising. Hope you are doing well!!

[calle28]

mp - Have you talked about SJC?

[1confused1]

Oct 9, 2015 19:16:17 GMT -5 calle28 said:

mp - Have you talked about SJC?

I was wondering the same. I think I would have paid attention given that's where I'm from.

[Deleted]

Poof
Confession----Somewhere deep down, I am still scared of being hurt again. And it stems from my past.
please tell me I'm not the biggest asshole ever.  

[calle28]

@blueyes623 - You're not an asshole! At least you're aware that you have trust issues. A counseling appointment can't hurt. I'm sure J will forgive you.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2015 21:47:01 GMT -5 calle28 said:

@blueyes623 - You're not an asshole! At least you're aware that you have trust issues. A counseling appointment can't hurt. I'm sure J will forgive you.

Thanks   J accepts me for who I am, but occasionally reminds me that I'm being a crazy nut. I'm sad that I have a good guy and I'm still having trust/jealousy issues in my head. Then I start to think things that are untrue and I do realize I'm being irrational.