Help me shop & a question

[huey]

My dear friend's daughter's baby shower is this weekend. She is a younger, single mom with limited money, so I am trying to narrow down what I want to get her to what she would use the most and stay within my budget. I really want to help her out. (side note, I feel so bad for her - she and her BF had dated for quite a while, she got pregnant, he left her so he could pursue his dreams as a rock band start. His mom called and offered to pay for the abortion )

I just looked at her registry and only 2 things have been purchased - a bumbo and a kick and play.

Okay, so my question - she registered for a little bath tub that I have that DD has outgrown. Would it be bad to give that to her? It is in great shap and looks new. Bad or no? Do I give that to her on the side or as a gift at the shower?

Also, I have $50 or so, to spend - what should I get? I feel so dumb asking this after having a baby. My first thought is the A&A blankets - we LOVE them! But, will she enjoy $35 blankets like we did?

Her registry is really a hodgpodge of stuff. I could get her the carseta ($75.00) or just load up on all the small things - diapers, wipes, pacis, blankets, etc etc.

WDYT?

[Deleted]

I don't think she needs $35 blankets. Diapers wipes, diaper cream bottles are a must for her. Absolutely give her to tub but not at the shower after. You can even write in the card you give her at the shower that you have some additional items your LO outgrew that you would love to give her.

[MamaMaui24]

Give her the bathtub separately. I'd email or call her now so she can take it off her registry. "I noticed you registered for the same bath tub baby huey has outgrown. If you don't mind hand-me-downs, it's yours."

I'd go with the car seat if it's in your budget.

[Ashley&Scott]

Aug 23, 2012 9:08:32 GMT -5 MamaMaui24 said:

Give her the bathtub separately. I'd email or call her now so she can take it off her registry. "I noticed you registered for the same bath tub baby huey has outgrown. If you don't mind hand-me-downs, it's yours."

I really like this wording.

For the actual gift stick to necessities she registered for, whatever is within your budget.

[ijack]

I would offer her up hand me downs separate from the gift. A carseat is a pretty nice gift

[huey]

Aug 23, 2012 9:08:32 GMT -5 MamaMaui24 said:

Give her the bathtub separately. I'd email or call her now so she can take it off her registry. "I noticed you registered for the same bath tub baby huey has outgrown. If you don't mind hand-me-downs, it's yours."

I'd go with the car seat if it's in your budget.

I like this idea

I know she doesn't need $35 blankets. And I just want to help give her the best start. I also thought about getting some thigs then giving the rest in a gift card so she can have a little fun shopping and picking out other things.

[huey]

I decided to get her the carseat unless someone else snags it. I sent a message to my friend asking if her daughter would want the tub and she said she would be thrilled

[schrodinger]

A couple of showers that I went to people brought hand-me-down stuff that they gave separately to the mom to be (bags of clothes, bottles, etc.). They brought a new gift that was opened with the rest of the gifts, and then kept the hand-me-down stuff in their car until the end of the shower. No one thought it was odd or unusual.

Another thing I saw done that I thought was neat was a mom brought a bag of stuff for the mom-to-be for after the baby was born. She had a bottle of witch hazel, breast pads and cream, etc. And then explained when she used each of them -- things like soak the pad in witch hazel, freeze it, then use it post birth to help stitches heal. I thought that was nice of her to do since this was the first woman in my circle of friends to have a baby. She also did this after the main shower.