When should bedtime be?

[whitterbugk]

I'm thinking about starting a schedule for when I go back to work and I have no idea what time I should try to put him down.

Up until this week, he's been eating every two hours so he didn't really have a bedtime, just an eat-awake-sleep schedule. He's started sleeping for longer stretches at night (woo-hoo!), so I think it's time for some actual bedtime nonsense.

Major points:

- H has to be at work by 8 a.m. I like to be at work at 8, but I can come in whenever. We ride together about half the year, separately the other half.

- Before baby, we left for work at 7:40. I got up at 7:20, he got up at 7:30. We are obviously not morning people, nor high maintenance.

- My mom will be watching him most of the time. Her house is 10 min. round-trip from ours.

So should I just start with a random time and go forward or back based on his behavior the next day?

[GailGoldie]

baby is about 6w old?

i wouldn't have a set bed time... just put him down after his last feeding before YOU go to bed. That's what we always did.

[ijack]

He's only a month old - so right now his bedtime is probably going to be around 10pm. He'll start to kind of creep up his bedtime as he gets older by getting tired earlier or wanting to eat more. Chances are he's not going to have a normal kid bedtime (7/8pm) until he's closer to 3 months.

[ECB]

As best you can, follow his queues. One of the biggest things I learned is "put your baby to sleep at the FIRST sign of being tired". I would wait a little while until I thought he was "really" tired - and then bedtime was a pain, he didn't alway sleep that great.

Once I put him to bed at the first sign - he went to sleep easier and slept better. I was stunned at the change!

But I really believe in trying to follow your childs queues as best you can. This led us, fo ra long time, to a very early bed time. As a baby, I was often putting him to bed by 6!!! Oy.

As time has passed, it's gotten later and later and now it's between 7:30 and 8.

[whitterbugk]

Thank you! My best friend said she started a bedtime routine and set bedtime at 1 month, so I was panicking that I was doing it wrong.

[whitterbugk]

Aug 23, 2012 14:10:00 GMT -5 ECB said:

As best you can, follow his queues. One of the biggest things I learned is "put your baby to sleep at the FIRST sign of being tired". I would wait a little while until I thought he was "really" tired - and then bedtime was a pain, he didn't alway sleep that great.

Once I put him to bed at the first sign - he went to sleep easier and slept better. I was stunned at the change!

But I really believe in trying to follow your childs queues as best you can. This led us, fo ra long time, to a very early bed time. As a baby, I was often putting him to bed by 6!!! Oy.

As time has passed, it's gotten later and later and now it's between 7:30 and 8.

What sleepy cues do you see? I've tried to watch, but he doesn't rub his eyes yet and just yawns randomly.

[satama]

I let my kids set their own bedtimes. I just followed their signals for when they seem sleepy. I agree to try and start with feeding and putting down right before you go to bed (like 10 or so) and let the baby move the bedtime up gradually. Both of mine settled around 7:30 by about 3 months or a little later.

[ijack]

for us you could tell when she wanted a "bedtime" because she would nap during the day and then wake to eat, but at night she wouldn't wake at 3hrs, she would keep going. So I would let him go about his normal day (which is going to change every day probably) and let say he eats at 7ish, then around 9 you can start whatever routine you want (books, bath, whatever) and then feed him again and 10 and let him go as long as he wants.

[ECB]

Maybe you have to wait a little longer, then! IT was usually rubbing the eyes and yawning a lot that told me he was tired.

[Deleted]

My DD is about the same age and I'm finding that her natural bedtime is around 7:30-8 pm. After this point, she'll settle down and sleep for 4 or 4.5 hours, wake to eat, and then go back to sleep.

In a few weeks, we'll start dream feeding to see if we can lengthen that first stretch.

[Deleted]

Aug 23, 2012 14:13:20 GMT -5 whitterbugk said:

Aug 23, 2012 14:10:00 GMT -5 ECB said:

As best you can, follow his queues. One of the biggest things I learned is "put your baby to sleep at the FIRST sign of being tired". I would wait a little while until I thought he was "really" tired - and then bedtime was a pain, he didn't alway sleep that great.

Once I put him to bed at the first sign - he went to sleep easier and slept better. I was stunned at the change!

But I really believe in trying to follow your childs queues as best you can. This led us, fo ra long time, to a very early bed time. As a baby, I was often putting him to bed by 6!!! Oy.

As time has passed, it's gotten later and later and now it's between 7:30 and 8.

What sleepy cues do you see? I've tried to watch, but he doesn't rub his eyes yet and just yawns randomly.

You can tell sometimes when their eyes get heavy looking. They're not quite as alert anymore and start to get fussier. My DD also starts moving her head from side to side quickly, like she's anxious to get back to sleep but doesn't know how to relax on her own.

[froggy76]

We didn't really start a "bedtime" until around 3-4 months. Prior to that, we would just put DD to bed when we went to bed at 10 or 11. In the evenings, she'd just nurse or sleep in our arms.

When we did start bedtime, she'd go down around 7:30 or 8:00 (still the same at 9 months.)

[sewpinkgal]

J set a pretty early bedtime for himself between 6-6:30pm when he was a few months old. He consistently did his longest stretch of sleep then so we rolled with it. At almost 11 months we're closer to a 6:30-7pm bedtime (still on the early side).

[pugz]

G is 6 weeks old now and doesn't have a set bedtime, it's basically when we are going to bed so between 9:30-11 depending on when her last evening feeding falls. We do a short routine after her last bottle, get her in her jammies and read her a book. Then we let her sleep as long as she wants and the first stretch is usually a bit longer than usual, 4-4.5 hrs between feedings instead of 3-3.5. I think she'll start sleeping longer when she can eat more, right now she gets 2.5 oz from the bottle at each feeding, plus whatever she gets when I BF her, which isn't much.

[oregonpachey]

DS#1 was never on a schedule but he ended up putting himself on one at around 6 months. He would typically go down around 9:00 though. Sometimes as late as 11:00 which sucked.

DS#2 we put on a bedtime schedule right away. He has always gone down at 8:00, no later. It works for him.

[hopecounts]

DD kind of naturally fell into an 8 pm bedtime around 4-5 months when she dropped her 3 rd nap.
Before that it was more like 10 before she had her "night" sleep
I stay at home and she has consistently woken up at 7:-7:30 since she was born.
At this age I'd work on getting into a consistent eating and napping routine (eat around x, nap around y) which should lead to a naturally occurring bedtime at a reasonable time.
I definitely wouldn't stress about a "bedtime" at this age though I would try to be semi-consistent with wake up times just to get him used to it which should also help things fall into place.

[pugz]

it is kind of confusing at this point because G always goes to sleep after she eats, we might get a 30-45 minute period of alertness, then she gets sleepy, I swaddle her, and she goes to sleep for 2-3 hours. Last night she was awake from 6:30-9, longest stretch ever.

[aspentosh]

At that age, we didn't have a bedtime for DD. We didn't start having one (a loose one, at that) until 3-4 months old. Now she's consistently in bed around 7:30pm.

[drloretta]

At that age DD went to sleep around 7:30, give or take. We just followed her lead and have never given her a set bedtime.

[jinnifah]

I decided to let DS set his bedtime. It seems to change weekly and get progressively later. This week it's 9:30 pm, last week it was 9pm, 8:30 pm the week before.....oh well. If I follow his cues he goes right down without spending an hour patting him and singing

[Deleted]

Aug 23, 2012 14:48:11 GMT -5 froggy76 said:

We didn't really start a "bedtime" until around 3-4 months. Prior to that, we would just put DD to bed when we went to bed at 10 or 11. In the evenings, she'd just nurse or sleep in our arms.

When we did start bedtime, she'd go down around 7:30 or 8:00 (still the same at 9 months.)

Same here. Until he was about 4 months old, after his evening feeding (usually around 7ish) he'd nap in the RnP while DH and I watched a little TV. We'd then feed him at 10 or 11 right before we went to bed.

He set his own bedtime at about 4 months. He wouldn't nap in the RnP anymore, and would get really fussy and show signs of sleepiness (rubbing his eyes, yawning). After a couple of days of trial and error, we figured out that we should start his bedtime routine (diaper change, into jammies, short book, nursing to sleep) around 8:00 or so. He's usually asleep by 9. This is still what we're doing at 6 months.

[jr009j]

DD gave herself a 7 pm bedtime around 8 weeks. We based it on her behavior in the evening-she whines and rubs her eyes a lot. She's now 5 months old and she's gone to bed at 7 or earlier every night since we started the bedtime. We really try to follow her cues, but even if she hasn't been acting tired, if you rock her at 6:55, she's asleep instantly. She was sleepinging through the night, but in the last week or so hit some kind of growth spurt because she wakes up starving in the middle of the night.

We wake with her 6:30/6:45 and are out of the house by 7:20 most mornings.