Confessions?

[G22]

I have several.

One of my brothers called me last night to tell me he bought an engagement ring and is planning to propose to his girlfriend. I am so stinking excited for them! I love his gf and I think they are great together. But it makes me feel so darn old knowing I now have a sibling getting married soon.

M and I are running our first half marathon tomorrow. I am excited and slightly nervous.

Our youngest pup has some weird quirks and I'm not sure what to think about them. Occasionally he is weirded out by people he doesn't know or kids. And he tries to run the other way, or freaks out barking. But not all the time. He loves the dog park and playing with other dogs. But if he's on a leash, he is slightly leash aggressive towards other dogs. I don't know his background before we rescued him. We are planning on taking him to training to try and help with the leash issue.

[Dumbledork]

One of my younger sisters got married just over a year ago to a younger guy. When they married they were 21 and 19. They've been separated now for at least four months. I think he moved out first, started sleeping with someone else, dumped that girl and asked to come back home to my sister, but she said she needed time to think.

When I was home in July, I saw her at the fair with a much older guy. I asked her about it later that night and she's dating him now. He's 34, she's 22. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say. I just kind of stood there with my mouth open in shock looking stupid. She's still not divorced. Her relationship makes me in favor of Stantopia.

My family is nuts and every time I go back, I leave thinking "How the eff did we grow up together and become so different?"

[Deleted]

I don't think 12 years is a big deal depending on personalities/maturity levels. I'd date someone with a 15 years on me as long as he was ok having kids in his 40s

[ilovelamp]

As hard as it was to leave my family behind, I have never felt so free from the crazy drama. I can finally see it was a blessing to move. And I am getting better at not feeling guilty that I left when they are miserable.

I know I shouldn't because of money, but I decided to take horseback lessons. It's really cheap (I promise!) And to be honest I have never been happier. I don't feel stressed or worried when I am there. It makes me feel pure joy.

[kcd0531]

My SIL is at least 10 years older than my older brother. I have no idea how old she really is because when they got married she was only 5 years older than him. Then the truth came out (to my family anyway) that she is even older than the 5 year difference. I can't remember exactly how much older. Apparently she didn't want to weird anybody out. I'm weirded out that she felt like she had to lie about it to begin with.

I'm also side-eyeing the hell outta her more and more lately. She quit her job in May (?) without having another job lined up and so now my poor brother is trying to support himself, her, and his daughter on a $12/hr job in Colorado. If it weren't for the fact that his MIL lived with them and collects disability their mortgage wouldn't get paid.

Add insult to injury? The company she quit just recently went under and if she hadn't quit she would've received compensation AND qualified for unemployment. But, she quit so she doesn't and can't.

I feel justified in calling her a selfish bitch regarding this.

[honeybadger]

I never have any good confessions.

[Jam]

Yeeeeah. I TOTALLY dated a 34 year old guy when I was 20. I thought he was 26 (because that's how old he looked) and didn't find out his real age until about a few weeks after I had already started sleeping with him regularly LOL. I guess that's my throwback Thursday confession.

Also, I totally agree with Stan on the "unresolved issues". I had major daddy issues and was on the rebound. This guy took care of me. He was kind, looked out for me, etc... I obviously didn't see it at the time but 8 years later, I 'get it'.

[basilosaurus]

When I was 23 I "dated" (as in, mostly fwb, but we spent a ton of time together) a guy who was 34. I still see nothing wrong with that. Life stage matters more than age. We were in a similar place (rebound, didn't want serious), similar interests, and we had fun. We're actually still in some minimal contact. Like, I'll have a drink with him and his wife if I'm in town.

Your sister is rebounding. Give her some leeway. She's obviously made the decision not to take doucher back.

[basilosaurus]

Aug 23, 2012 15:43:10 GMT -5 kcd0531 said:

I'm also side-eyeing the hell outta her more and more lately. She quit her job in May (?) without having another job lined up and so now my poor brother is trying to support himself, her, and his daughter on a $12/hr job in Colorado. If it weren't for the fact that his MIL lived with them and collects disability their mortgage wouldn't get paid.

How do you know she didn't do this with his support? He might have even been the one to encourage her to quit.

[Deleted]

Stan-young 20's. Ideally, no more than 5-7 years age difference. I can't date down. I have a good male friend that is 33. We aren't in different places in our lives, of course add a few years and we probably would be.

[honeybadger]

I just (finally) got an e-mail from the Coach whose team Isaac will be on. He sent out the list of scheduled practices and I am SO FREAKING EXCITED. 2 practices a week, an hour each, for the next 3 weeks before games start. This on top of Pre-School means SO MANY activities which means AWESOME sleeping for him. And friend making, of course!

My confession is that I feel guilty that I am most excited for how fast this is going to help the next few weeks go by.

[Deleted]

Aug 23, 2012 18:05:06 GMT -5 Stan said:

Aug 23, 2012 17:09:05 GMT -5 @lemonlover33 said:

Stan-young 20's. Ideally, no more than 5-7 years age difference. I can't date down. I have a good male friend that is 33. We aren't in different places in our lives, of course add a few years and we probably would be.

For me, it worries me when a guy is older and in the same place as a young twenties woman, kwim?

I see what you're saying and I agree for the most part. Follow the rule, not the exception.

[basilosaurus]

Aug 23, 2012 18:05:06 GMT -5 Stan said:

Aug 23, 2012 17:09:05 GMT -5 @lemonlover33 said:

Stan-young 20's. Ideally, no more than 5-7 years age difference. I can't date down. I have a good male friend that is 33. We aren't in different places in our lives, of course add a few years and we probably would be.

For me, it worries me when a guy is older and in the same place as a young twenties woman, kwim?

^o)

I think it really depends on how you're defining same place as well as whether a different place is inherently incompatible.

I think relationship goals should be the same. Do you want to get married? Ever? Now? Some vaguely defined future? Age doesn't necessarily answer that. Someone in their mid 20s can reasonably be in the same place wrt something like marriage goals as someone in their late 30s. Certainly 5-7 years isn't a big deal.

Emotionally, I think differences can be ok. Speaking from experience, it was because of the support of someone older and more experienced that I was able to navigate the transition from college to adulthood. And not everyone has the same experiences at the same age. My mom died when I was young, but I wouldn't say my partner needed that same life changing emotional roller coaster to be compatible with me. So, what major differences are there in 5 years that are due to age alone?

Kids could be the same. Would you side-eye me for not being sure if I want kids at 31 when people know at 25?

[amaristella]

I'm about to waste some serious time reading this website.
dog-shaming.com/

[basilosaurus]

I agree in general that it's kinda squicky to have a guy that much older, but I guess I'm just defensive of the sister because she may be in a very casual relationship. Just seeing someone at a fair doesn't show their relationship. It may not be a life decision situation, kwim?

Thanks for the compliments, but I assure you I had plenty of stupid and immature moments that were cringe worthy!

[G22]

Aug 23, 2012 19:35:25 GMT -5 amaristella said:

I'm about to waste some serious time reading this website.
dog-shaming.com/

Thank you for posting this. H and I enjoyed it!

[bigmamma]

My mom cut my younger sister out of her will.



This should be fun in about 40+ years.

[brandienee]

I love having a job, but it has kicked some recessive OCD gene into overdrive. I can't stand the sight of something out of place right now. At least my house looks amazing because of it.

If I don't get some decent sleep tonight, I am going to break down and buy some ZzzzQuil.

Sometimes I wish I could be snarky, but the thought of stirring the pot gives me anxiety, so I usually keep my "side-eye" comments to myself. Gawd, I need to grow a pair. LOL.

[kcd0531]

Aug 23, 2012 16:57:27 GMT -5 basilosaurus said:

Aug 23, 2012 15:43:10 GMT -5 kcd0531 said:

I'm also side-eyeing the hell outta her more and more lately. She quit her job in May (?) without having another job lined up and so now my poor brother is trying to support himself, her, and his daughter on a $12/hr job in Colorado. If it weren't for the fact that his MIL lived with them and collects disability their mortgage wouldn't get paid.

How do you know she didn't do this with his support? He might have even been the one to encourage her to quit.

I know because he is pissed as hell at her for quitting without having something else lined up.

[verycontrary247]

Aug 23, 2012 23:02:06 GMT -5 Stan said:

Aug 23, 2012 22:59:43 GMT -5 brandienee said:

Sometimes I wish I could be snarky, but the thought of stirring the pot gives me anxiety, so I usually keep my "side-eye" comments to myself.

I've been hanging out elsewhere because I say snarky things in my head, realize that even if they're correct, they sound mean, and I realize we're too P&R for that these days.

Agreed.

I'm 100% surprised no one called me out for saying prettyinpink's bridesmaid dress was hideous.

[hurricane]

Aug 24, 2012 8:41:54 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Aug 23, 2012 23:02:06 GMT -5 Stan said:

I've been hanging out elsewhere because I say snarky things in my head, realize that even if they're correct, they sound mean, and I realize we're too P&R for that these days.

Agreed.

I'm 100% surprised no one called me out for saying prettyinpink's bridesmaid dress was hideous.

I don't post much on here because if I have nothing nice to say I won't say it at all, since I don't think this board can handle the snark/dose of reality that used to go on. That was always fun to watch.

[twoslicehilly]

My big brother got married the other weekend in Vegas to a girl he met online about 2 weeks prior. I've acted really supportive because I know how much it sucks to have every one nay saying you. She's really sweet, but I'm almost wishing I could be there when the shit hits the fan. Cause it's gonna.

[Jam]

Soooo why are you guys holding in your snark? Is it because most everyone is familiar with each other or because you think you'll be ganged up on by some phantom P & R police?

Snark =/= Bullying. At least it doesn't have to.

[smiles]

I have a confession, that I want to share with y'all, but I need to wait a little longer.

But a confession/vent I can share now.
I have been looking for and interviewing with different families who are seeking child care. I have on my profile on a website. I state the price range I am looking for and that I would need to bring my daughter.

So far, I have interviewed with a lady that wasn't sure if she wanted me to bring my daughter, and if she did hire me, she would pay me less because I have her. I wouldn't need To bring her every day, but she kept saying that she would pay me less on the days I had her. I asked if I would get paid more for the days I didn't bring her though. They had no answer and said they didn't think of that. No duh!

This other lady I really liked, met up with me and really wanted to have me watch her daughter in my home. That's great! It would be 6:45-5:45 M-F. Guess how much she would pay me? $3.00 an hour. But really a weekly rate of no more than $170.

I wish I could just find a family that is cool, willing to pay me at LEAST minimum wage.

[amaristella]

Smiles it makes no sense to me at all when I see people who won't even pay minimum wage for someone to watch their child. Obviously if there's a group daycare they can afford to spread the cost per child out a teeny bit but when it's practically one on one? Geez.

[letsbeawkward]

Oh heck no smiles, that is ridiculous. $3 an hour? No way.

[NomadicMama]

Aug 23, 2012 17:22:18 GMT -5 honeybadger said:

I just (finally) got an e-mail from the Coach whose team Isaac will be on. He sent out the list of scheduled practices and I am SO FREAKING EXCITED. 2 practices a week, an hour each, for the next 3 weeks before games start. This on top of Pre-School means SO MANY activities which means AWESOME sleeping for him. And friend making, of course!

My confession is that I feel guilty that I am most excited for how fast this is going to help the next few weeks go by.

Don't feel guilty about keeping busy!! Isn't that the advice we give people? It's just that much easier because you don't have to plan and execute the activity but are still busy.

Crap, LO starts his soccer program soon--I think this coming week, but I haven't received any information. Thanks for jogging my memory!

[bigmamma]

Confession: I am so freakin STOKED that the kids are going back to school - it has nothing to do with their educational future and everything to do with my house staying clean and me staying out of a mental institution.


Now... what to do with the 4 year old...

[NomadicMama]

Aug 25, 2012 7:27:11 GMT -5 bigmamma said:

Confession: I am so freakin STOKED that the kids are going back to school - it has nothing to do with their educational future and everything to do with my house staying clean and me staying out of a mental institution.


Now... what to do with the 4 year old...

This is why I am thrilled that my neighbor was able to get LO a spot at a local kindergarten. Had you told me a year ago that I'd be sending my three year old to kindergarten five days a week for six hours a day, I'd have thought you were nuts. Now? It will be the reason I survive this deployment without being committed. The fact that LO will learn German is a bonus.

[prettyinpink]

Aug 24, 2012 8:41:54 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

Aug 23, 2012 23:02:06 GMT -5 Stan said:

I've been hanging out elsewhere because I say snarky things in my head, realize that even if they're correct, they sound mean, and I realize we're too P&R for that these days.

Agreed.

I'm 100% surprised no one called me out for saying prettyinpink's bridesmaid dress was hideous.

I didn't call you out because honestly I don't like it all that much. So I wasn't going to waste my breath defending something I don't really like. This wedding as been the biggest pain in my freaking side and I'm doing my best to survive the next 2 weeks and get through it with the grace that I know I do possess.