Baby and you adjusting to daycare-talk to me

[eddy]

So you would think I am a first time mom with the amount of anxiety I am still having over this transition. wtf

Anyways how long did you feel like both you and your LO were into the swing of things and settled. Tell me stories. Extra bonus if your baby was BF and you can tell me about how long it too them to adjust.

I really think at this point I am just borrowing worries. I do not remember having this issue with Jack. I think I was to stupid to know better. But now that I am an enlightened second time parent I just am looking for trouble. I worry about his cat naps versus the big naps he takes at home, I worry that he isn't eating enough, I worry that part of his head is a bit flat (that has nothing to do with daycare lol) but I am just looking around for something to fret about.

The reality is Leo is a very low key baby. He doesn't get upset and he hasn't gotten upset about daycare. Sure he is only taking a couple ounces down in 4 hour periods and he is cat napping. He went three half days this week so in reality that is pretty good right? What in the hell am I worrying about? I am worried about how a full time week will go next week.

Also another part of my fretting is getting used to our new DCP. And I know it will take time and I will worry less about her. There is nothing that really sticks out to me, but I am still fretful about how she is caring for my preshus. Then I forget to ask specific questions because I am all "Myyyy baaaaby."
I need a drink.

[Deleted]

I know with DS, his daycare behavior and his at home behavior were totally night and day. He ate and slept and played differently at daycare, but he was happy and healthy no matter where he was.

It'll all work out.

[Deleted]

It took me two or three weeks to really feel adjusted. I hated walking out of there and leaving him and not being able to see everything that was going on. During the first three weeks, I know I called to check on him at least once a week. Thankfully, they were really patient with me about that.

My baby was BF, but I pumped a lot while on maternity leave and had DH or someone else give him a bottle once in awhile, so I don't think he had much of an adjustment after that. Sorry, that's not very helpful.

[julez]

I'll be honest - I was a bona fide wreck for the first month of daycare. DD is an only child and was BF'd. I hated my job at the time, and I'm certain that this contributed hugely to my distaste for going back to work. I spent the entire last week of my maternity leave crying - I was so worried that DD would just be parked in a bouncy seat crying all day, and it made me so, so upset. I was kind of a mess.

DD was never a chill baby, but she did take a bottle well, even though she was almost exclusively fed FROM the breast bf'd. She had zero problems taking a bottle at daycare and, even though she barely slept at home (like, literally - it was horrid) she took naps at daycare.

In all honesty once she was at daycare for about a month, she really got onto a true schedule, and it was so good for both of us. She slept better, and as a result I slept better and I had a better grasp on reality as a result.

Now? She LOVES daycare and never wants to come home with me at the end of the day.

This is kind of all over the place and our sitation is probably not at all like yours, but I wanted to say something here because I remember vividly how much going back to work sucks.

You will be okay, and HE will be okay. More than okay. He will be loved and happy and it will all be just fine. Promise.

[Deleted]

Well I'm very new to the mom thing, so I don't know how much help I am. But my baby is BF and I haven't noticed any differences in her eating. However, she has never napped well at daycare. Mostly because we spoiled her and she's used to being held for naps at home. Plus my H is with her two days per week and tends to reverse any progress she makes on the nap front when he has her. Lol.

I was really worried too though. She was so shell shocked when I picked her up the first day, but she adjusted within like a week. She's even adjusted to napping there for the most part- even though they're cat naps- and I swear she comes back with a new skill every day. It's all seemed to work out and she does well both at daycare and at home.

[beefcheeks]

It will be okay :-) Neither of my sons were on a schedule when I went back to work, and that worried me a lot but really, it will work out and they will fall into a routine soon enough. I think within 3-4 weeks mine were napping better and everyone was getting used to the same wake up time, same bedtime every night instead of the willy-nilly-ness of mat leave and newbornism (is that a word? ha) You've got another child so you know how much things change between now and 4-5 months old...they are soooo different than they are at 3 mo.

w/r/t BFing do you mean adjusting to taking a bottle? My boys also did not have issues there, but I started them on bottles several weeks before I started working again. Not FT on bottles, but one per day or maybe every other day or so.

I think it sounds like in your head you know everything is going to be fine, but your heart is just hurting a little bit...and that is understandable and normal. He's your babyyyyy. But it will all work out great, I promise (and you know this!)

[eddy]

Leo is a stinker and started refusing the bottle about three weeks ago. So we are back at square one of trying to get him to eat from it. Thankfully this week at DCP he did not scream when he saw it so small victories right? I am really hoping next week he starts taking more ounces. I think I am going to tell my DCP to give him a bottle every two hours to try to get him to take more. This week I was all "Whatever whatever feed him when he is hungry." I think there needs to be more structure next week because he needs to be encouraged to eat more. Since he wasn't screaming I don't think she was offering it enough and then he just fell asleep because he didn't really know what to do with himself. See the song and dance between the two of us is the hardest. She is a nice lady and had rave reviews. It is just hard to figure out what he needs and express that to her.

[Deleted]

Oh and I LOVE dropping her little butt off. Her teachers love her, I love working, and she's happy to see me at the end of the day. You and Leo will be fine!

[eddy]

05-Shellshocked is a prefect way to describe it. In his little baby way I feel like his uber mellowness is more of a "WTF has happened here. I used to have a boob all the time and now I am with this new lady and this plastic nipple." It breaks my heart the little stinker.

This is all very helpful!

[Deleted]

I didn't cry when I dropped her off the first day, but I broke down like a child in the car when I brought her home. She just looked so confused, and she smelled different. I thought I had broken her for good.

[Nicole]

It took a week or so for us to both adjust and two weeks when she changed daycares at 18mos. I think I cried for the first week every time I dropped her off. Now my H does the drop off and I do the pick up.

I agree with 05heel. I like having adult time/work. She is thrilled to see when I pick her up. And she learns something new every day.

It's really hard and I still have days where I am riddled with guilt about being a working mom. But all in all, it's best for our family and she is loving it now that she's adjusted to it. I think it is always harder on the mom than the baby.

[eddy]

Okay I just got teary eyed 05. That is exactly how I felt today. That makes me feel normal. :-)

I also worry I am breaking him, which is so freaking dumb and I know it. I am trying to fight the mommy martyr side of my brain that is thinking no one possible can do this as good as I can. Like all this kid needs is some love, naps and a couple bottle. Why do I doubt that she can give that to him. Silly silly silly

[eddy]

You know what I do love about being back at work? Wearing cute clothes that don't have to be nursing friendly. Freeeeeeedoooooom!

[Deleted]

Normal! I felt the same way. Then I realized those folks have FAR more baby experience than I do. They know how to soothe her, have figured out her cues, know what she likes, etc. They of course don't adore her like I do, but she gets most of what she needs and then some in their care.

After the first day I was trying to figure how we would financially swing me quitting my job. (hint: we wouldn't). I was so devastated. And for really no reason to be honest. It all passed though and I'm super happy now.

[Deleted]

Aug 23, 2012 16:06:02 GMT -5 eddy said:

You know what I do love about being back at work? Wearing cute clothes that don't have to be nursing friendly. Freeeeeeedoooooom!

Oh, you're lucky. I'm still pumping, so I still have to keep it somewhat nursing friendly. I can't wait until my lunch breaks are free for pedicures and shopping. I'll be so fucking thrilled.