Tuesday Randoms

[bl]

Tonight is the last night of bowling league through work.  My team is currently in 2nd and I want to win, so I am hoping that even with a boot on my foot I bowl okay this week.

Random question: When you get into an exclusive/committed relationship do you complete delete all your online dating profiles?

I delete the apps from my phone and hide all my profiles on sites like okc and pof that can be hidden, and never access them, this always felt like enough and I never had any intention of messing around on them to see what was out there or anything.  I was having a conversation with someone this morning and he said that if you don't delete them completely it's shitty because you are obviously keeping them in case you ever needed them again, which means you think there's a chance it won't work.  At first I argued, but the more I thought about it I realized while I never had any intention of cheating, I didn't completely delete because I didn't want to go through the trouble of ever remaking it either. It's not that I had any specific doubts about that relationship, but I guess I am also realistic and many relationships don't work. 

[verycontrary247]

My first day back at work after discovering co-worker I've been banging for 2 years just got married (and tried to hide it from me and everyone else) went just as badly as I expected it would.

Backstory

pandce.proboards.com/thread/487149/involved-coworker



CW was "campaigning" as I call it- aka being overly friendly and helpful to everyone so when word spreads they'll take his side, while making little snide remarks via our work messenger to me. I did not respond (because I don't want that shit going on through work channels) and confronted him via text afterwards- essentially calling him out for being a compulsive liar etc. He told me to drop it, I said I'd be happy to never speak to him again and if the rude comments didn't stop at work I'd go to HR. Then I blocked his number.

[bl]

TR deleting the apps doesn't delete the profiles. I did hide them, which means you don't appear when people are browsing and you meet their criteria however you do still appear if someone searches for you or a portion of your username. It shows on your profile that you haven't been online since X date. When I got back on after a 5 month relationship I had 100's of messages, so obviously I was still showing up every once in a while somehow. If I were engaged or it was super serious and headed toward engagement and the guy specifically had an issue with it I would delete all the way, but the second I get into a new relationship probably now. I do think the friend has a point though, if I am all in then I shouldn't have the well if it doesn't work I don't want to recreate it all thought, but I am also realistic too.

verycontrary247 I am kind of with TR on this one, why does everyone know and why will there be sides? Glad you blocked him and he wants to drop it and hopefully that will be the end of it.

[jojoandleo]

verycontrary247- Wow. I am sorry. I think you handled that as well as you can. I would probably go to HR with his snide emails anyway. I wouldn't want this to somehow get turned around on you. This guy seems very manipulative.

[brooke77]

bl I think deleting the apps and hiding your profile is enough. I'm not actively dating, but I'd be happy if I met someone online and he hid his profile after we became exclusive.

My random: What is everyone doing for Halloween? I still need a costume! Any ideas?

[bg]

yuck verycontrary247. glad you blocked him.

brooke77 I think I'm going to be a thief. Mostly because I have a lot of black and white striped shirts. :-P I'll just be hanging out giving out candy tho, so I don't feel a need to go all out.

[pinkdutchtulips]

brooke77

I'm going as a black cat and miss r is going as a cheetah -complete w cheetah ears and cheetah tail !

[jellymankelly]

My kids are going as Minions, my FI is going as Gru (if you saw him, you'd think this is hilarious, because he makes the perfect Gru), and I'm going as Lucy Wilde from the 2nd despicable me. Her long turquoise coat has been kicking my ass this week, but I hope to finish tonight.

[jojoandleo]

brooke77-my friends and I are going as horror movie villains: Chucky, Jason, and Freddie. But slutty versions, because, why not! I'm Jason wearing jean shorts, a green button up tied up, hockey mass, and a bloody machete. LOL. I drink with a straw through one of the holes in my hockey mask. I'm cool.

[bl]

Thanks ladies, I totally get his point and it made me think, but I didn't think my stance was that far off from what many people likely did.

brooke77 I will be at a Taylor Swift concert on Halloween night, so we are dressing up as foxes and holding signs that say "They are the hunters, we are the foxes" since those are lyrics from one of her songs.

[Deleted]

bl naaa I'm not going to delete that stuff. Even in an exclusive relationship it doesn't necessarily mean forever. If it had been like a year or something maybe, but by then I likely would have just forgotten about them altogether I do deactivate and delete the apps

[glitzyglow]

bl, I would completely delete because if I were in a serious relationship, I would hate for my phone to pop up with a message from Tinder with a message like, "Super likes are waiting for you!" or from Bumble I once got a "Your matches are waiting to hear from you!" message after ignoring it for like, 6 months. I understand innocence can be proven, but I would hate to see that if I were in the other person's shoes.

I had therapy yesterday. It was good and I think we found a good starting point. I have so much stuff to get through, but he seems very much like the type of therapist I prefer. Empathetic, compassionate, yet straightforward. I am going to see him every week for a month and then dial it back. I'm glad to be a good path, but ugh, goodbye extra money!

Last night, someone's car in the apartment complex had a malfunction where the car alarm started going off in shrills between 3:30am-5:00am. Needless to say, I am so.freaking.tired.

[bl]

glitzyglow I do delete the app completely from my phone, but on pof and okc even if the app is gone your profile is still out there in existence just not showing up most of the time. Like right now I do not have a single dating app on my phone (deleted back in Aug) but if you search my name you will find my profile on okc and pof.

Glad you found a good therapist!

[calle28]

bl - I was on OkCupid and I would deactivate my profile and delete the app. But I could just log back in and my profile would be there again. eHarmony - I deleted the app and said I met someone. I think the same would apply, if I log back in, my profile would pop back up again.

brooke77 - I think I'm going as Rosie the Riveter. Not sure what I'm doing yet though.

[jojoandleo]

Oct 27, 2015 10:42:45 GMT -5 bl said:

Thanks ladies, I totally get his point and it made me think, but I didn't think my stance was that far off from what many people likely did.

brooke77 I will be at a Taylor Swift concert on Halloween night, so we are dressing up as foxes and holding signs that say "They are the hunters, we are the foxes" since those are lyrics from one of her songs.

I LOVE that song. LOVE! I like a lot of the ones not currently on the radio. Clean, Welcome to New York, and of course I Know Places.

[bl]

Oct 27, 2015 11:28:39 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Oct 27, 2015 10:42:45 GMT -5 bl said:

Thanks ladies, I totally get his point and it made me think, but I didn't think my stance was that far off from what many people likely did.

brooke77 I will be at a Taylor Swift concert on Halloween night, so we are dressing up as foxes and holding signs that say "They are the hunters, we are the foxes" since those are lyrics from one of her songs.

I LOVE that song. LOVE! I like a lot of the ones not currently on the radio. Clean, Welcome to New York, and of course I Know Places.

OMG me too! I Know Places, Clean, New Romantics, and You Are in Love! She basically performs the vast majority of the new album with Fifteen, I Knew You Were Trouble, and Love Story mixed in.  I thought about being Alice in Wonderland and playing up that song. SO many people are the ballerina from Shake It Off, but I wanted something a little more original.  My goal is to get an invite to her loft89 and I am not going to lie and say that I am not hoping this massive boot on my foot won't help! I am a tad bit excited lol.

[jojoandleo]

Oct 27, 2015 11:44:54 GMT -5 bl said:

Oct 27, 2015 11:28:39 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I LOVE that song. LOVE! I like a lot of the ones not currently on the radio. Clean, Welcome to New York, and of course I Know Places.

OMG me too! I Know Places, Clean, New Romantics, and You Are in Love! She basically performs the vast majority of the new album with Fifteen, I Knew You Were Trouble, and Love Story mixed in.  I thought about being Alice in Wonderland and playing up that costume. SO many people are the ballerina from Shake It Off, but I wanted something a little more original.  My goal is to get an invite to her loft89 and I am not going to lie and say that I am not hoping this massive boot on my foot won't help! I am a tad bit excited lol.

If you have Amazon Prime, her Red Album is now free on streaming.  I paid for 1989.  I had to just do it.

[bl]

Oct 27, 2015 11:46:16 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Oct 27, 2015 11:44:54 GMT -5 bl said:

OMG me too! I Know Places, Clean, New Romantics, and You Are in Love! She basically performs the vast majority of the new album with Fifteen, I Knew You Were Trouble, and Love Story mixed in.  I thought about being Alice in Wonderland and playing up that costume. SO many people are the ballerina from Shake It Off, but I wanted something a little more original.  My goal is to get an invite to her loft89 and I am not going to lie and say that I am not hoping this massive boot on my foot won't help! I am a tad bit excited lol.

If you have Amazon Prime, her Red Album is now free on streaming.  I paid for 1989.  I had to just do it.

I have 5 albums and 65 Swifty songs on my phone *hangs head in shame*.  I buy a lot of music though, like well over 1k songs on my phone, plus several actual cds in my car. I know I am in the minority, but I enjoy buying albums and going to concerts to support the artists I enjoy. I do find it interesting her album is steaming since she is so anti-streaming services, but yay for people having more access to it.

[1confused1]

I am bitter about something that is not going to change no matter what happens so I need to get over it and accept that it is what it is.

[glitzyglow]

bl and jojoandleo, I Know Places is my favorite song on the album. I also loved hearing her talk about its creation on the deluxe album. I also loved Wonderland and I Wish You Would.

I can seriously barely keep my eyes open. I'm going to trivia tonight and may leave early to go to bed. I wish I had a gallon of coffee.

[verycontrary247]

Oct 27, 2015 8:39:01 GMT -5 TR said:

Oct 27, 2015 8:23:04 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

My first day back at work after discovering co-worker I've been banging for 2 years just got married (and tried to hide it from me and everyone else) went just as badly as I expected it would.

Backstory

pandce.proboards.com/thread/487149/involved-coworker

CW was "campaigning" as I call it- aka being overly friendly and helpful to everyone so when word spreads they'll take his side, while making little snide remarks via our work messenger to me. I did not respond (because I don't want that shit going on through work channels) and confronted him via text afterwards- essentially calling him out for being a compulsive liar etc. He told me to drop it, I said I'd be happy to never speak to him again and if the rude comments didn't stop at work I'd go to HR. Then I blocked his number.

This is all...ridiculously unprofessional. Why does everyone at work know you two were involved anyway? Why are their sides?

Everyone knows because a bunch of us hang out as a group on a regular basis. Not like we were making out at work.

And I guess there are sides because continuing to be friends with someone who majorly messed with another friend doesn't sit well with most people.

[imalwaysme79]

5 years ago today my ex-h told me he didn't love me anymore. I was shocked, heartbroken and angry because I didn't see it coming. 5 years later, I am in a much better place. I can see that my marriage wasn't a happy one and I wasn't happy either. Now, I know what it's like to be in a loving relationship and couldn't be more thrilled to see what's in store for my future.

[MauMau]

I'm watching game one of the World Series. I should be working on Mau's costume which I haven't started yet. He's going to be Super Cheese Mauer. I'm going to make mouse ears.

My bed frame was broken. So I lifted off the mattress and box spring to fix it. Mau the little shit must of barfed under there at some point. Thanks buddy...

[sweetchix]

I took DDs to see Jem over the weekend. While I was disappointed that she didn't magically change from Jerricha to Jem, it was still a decent movie. My small confession is that I really liked some of the songs on the soundtrack so I got them on iTunes with some gift cards I had been holding on to.