WWYD Re: Toddler and TV tantrums

[pisces6226]

I don't have to be in to work until 10 so our routine after getting up around 7:30/8 is to cuddle on the couch and watch Curious George for about 45 minutes (which does seem like a lot when I type it out). The last 2 weeks my nearly 2 year old son is sobbing when I turn the tv off to go eat breakfast. He repeats More George, More TV!!! I often tell him that it's almost time to eat so he knows it's coming.

Today it was epic to the point of full on meltdown for a good 15-20 minutes. I put him in his crib and quickly got ready for work. We read a couple of books and I got him calmed down enough to eat breakfast before we had to go. Then it was right back to trying to get to the remote on the counter. He did wake up a bit early today and was clearly tired. But I'm still sick of the daily battle to transition to breakfast time.

With the repeated crying over wanting to watch more TV, would you stop watching TV in the morning all together? It's been our routine for so long now and it gives me a chance to drink coffee and wake up so the lazy Mom in me isn't thrilled to let it go. What is your routine first thing in the morning?

[arch01]

You sound like my DH, that's exactly DS/DH's routine (down to the amount of time watched and so he can drink his coffee!).

At nearly 2-transitions can be useful. "DS, 5 more minutes until George has to be turned off!", then 3 minutes, then 1 minute. We've found it helpful to say goodbye to whatever we're doing/playing with/watching (even at nearly 4, he still says goodbye to the vacuum and gives it a hug and a kiss).

Heck, even telling him that George doesn't like to see him sad and he's going off to eat his breakfast too might work.

[MadamePresident]

We don't watch tv until after nap. The mornings are play time. I will sit inn the playroom and let my kid do their own thing with minimal attention from me.

I think it makes sense to change your routine, since it sounds like it's no longer working for you.

[namasteak]

Oct 29, 2015 13:14:57 GMT -5 arch01 said:

You sound like my DH, that's exactly DS/DH's routine (down to the amount of time watched and so he can drink his coffee!).

At nearly 2-transitions can be useful. "DS, 5 more minutes until George has to be turned off!", then 3 minutes, then 1 minute. We've found it helpful to say goodbye to whatever we're doing/playing with/watching (even at nearly 4, he still says goodbye to the vacuum and gives it a hug and a kiss).

Heck, even telling him that George doesn't like to see him sad and he's going off to eat his breakfast too might work.

I like the idea to do multiple countdowns. Ds1 is almost 2 and I am struggling to help him understand/deal with transitions better.

[dcn]

We watch tv first thing too, and Ds usually eats breakfast on the couch. (Moty). If he starts fussing when it is time to turn it off, I say "you can turn it off or mommy can, what do you choose?" There were a lot of times where he didn't choose so I did it and tantrum ensued. now he knows there is no option and he typically chooses to turn it off himself.

I also set a timer in the past sometimes so it was "when you hear the duck we have to turn the tv off". The duck still rules out house some days.

[arch01]

Oct 29, 2015 13:17:58 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Oct 29, 2015 13:14:57 GMT -5 arch01 said:

You sound like my DH, that's exactly DS/DH's routine (down to the amount of time watched and so he can drink his coffee!).

At nearly 2-transitions can be useful. "DS, 5 more minutes until George has to be turned off!", then 3 minutes, then 1 minute. We've found it helpful to say goodbye to whatever we're doing/playing with/watching (even at nearly 4, he still says goodbye to the vacuum and gives it a hug and a kiss).

Heck, even telling him that George doesn't like to see him sad and he's going off to eat his breakfast too might work.

I like the idea to do multiple countdowns. Ds1 is almost 2 and I am struggling to help him understand/deal with transitions better.

We still do it at nearly 4. It works great until he starts to negotiate 

[hermione]

C started doing this just before her second birthday. It really bothered me so I eliminated tv from our morning routine for a while. Now at 2.5 this behavior still comes out when she's tired so I try to skip tv when I know it will be a battle.

[Deleted]

We don't do TV at all during the week generally and it
Stems from when oldest was about that age and had trouble with the TV being turned off in the mornings. It works really well as 99% of the time they don't even think about asking for TV during the week. They find other stuff to do.

[kershnic]

I go into their room and sit on the floor (I'm still nursing, so we do that and they go play) and watch them play/play a little with them while they're getting woken up. When either I or they get bored then I move them into their highchairs and we eat breakfast together. If I was going to drink coffee this is probably when I would do it. Often I also keep them in there while I do whatever I need to do - finish getting dressed, pack lunch, etc.

I'm kind of biased against TV, but if it were causing the problems you're describing I would cut it.

[jeaniebueller]

I don't do TV at all in the morning at all with my kids exactly for this reason. My DS is a terror if I let him watch any before school.

[namasteak]

Oct 29, 2015 13:21:48 GMT -5 arch01 said:

Oct 29, 2015 13:17:58 GMT -5 namasteak said:

I like the idea to do multiple countdowns. Ds1 is almost 2 and I am struggling to help him understand/deal with transitions better.

We still do it at nearly 4. It works great until he starts to negotiate 

He is mostly ok when I turn the tv off if I have him say "bye bye *insert TV character name*" but we struggle with leaving the house and park. I'm going to try the 5/3/1 trick and see if it works

[Deleted]

I wouldn't take it away but I'd be clear about the rules and cut it a bit early so he has time for the tantrum.

He'll get over it in a couple days.

I'm all about avoiding battles but I'm also hesitant to always change a routine because a)I'm lazy too b) I still feel like they're winning because it's not something I want to do either, kwim?

[pisces6226]

Thanks for the great ideas ladies! I think I'll try 5/3/1 warnings and saying bye bye to George. That has worked when we need to say goodbye to the binky in the morning. So he must understand someone about saying goodbye to things.

If that doesn't work I'll say goodbye to morning tv.

[mrssandro]

We stop all TV in the mornings until DD was either in the car or ready to walk out of the door.

But the warning system may help. I do this for night time. She takes forever if I don't give her warnings. If she is quick she will get whatever free time she has left.

[geek96]

I definitely struggle more with the TV situation if I turn it on in the morning. My just turned 2 year old will continue with "more TV, more TV" all day long if I start the day with a show. If I tell him it's time to go out he will cry and say no, TV and the second we return it's more TV chants. I am going to try the warning system.

[vmars]

I try and use it for when he's winding down at night. In the morning he's full of energy and needs to run around and get his energy out. I try and encourage him to play independently or read a book. Sometimes I get a few minutes to drink my coffee.

[oswin]

We eat breakfast ASAP (because usually we're all starving and DD starts asking for oatmeal right away). After breakfast, we get DD dressed. Often I'll have to take a break from getting DD ready to feed DS, so sometimes she gets to watch half an episode of Daniel Tiger. Sometimes she'll get upset when it's time to stop watching Daniel Tiger, so I usually try to catch her at an episode transition - the halfway point of an episode or the end credits, and we say "bye bye Tiger" and I'll often have something else lined up for her to do, for example putting on her shoes or brushing her teeth. These are things she usually likes doing (and have to be done anyway), so it's a positive transition most of the time. On average, DD probably gets to watch half an episode of Daniel Tiger every other weekday and 1-2 episodes on weekend days (not necessarily in the morning), so she'll often ask to watch Tiger but she seems to accept so far that she doesn't always get to watch.

[soozy87]

I would discontinue morning tv time. I find that this is such a hard part of parenting. I find that I am always taking away or not getting fun things because I don't want him to throw a fit when it is time for something else. I feel like a mean parent, but he just struggles to move on from something that he loves, like I am sure many kids do.

[magpie]

We had some success with having DD "say bye bye to Daniel Tiger" for a while, but now she will just lose her shit anytime the ipad is taken away or the TV is turned off. We've just stopped letting her watch very often because I find the whole thing too intense. When we do occasionally allow her to watch, we just assume she'll have a shitfit when it's time to take it away and I let her go to her room and calm down by herself. She'll come back out 1-2 minutes later, declare herself to "feel better" and we move on.

[fortnightlily]

We do the 'bye bye' thing and distracting him with a toy or something else, and we just ignore the tantrum (which luckily only lasts a few minutes). His TV time is between getting home from daycare and our dinner time (note -- he eats earlier than us, usually).

Sometimes he asks to watch one of the adult shows that we sometimes put on when we're sick of watching his cartoons (either Jeopardy or Uncle Bear, i.e. Stephen Colbert) I think as a ploy to keep the TV on, but whatever.

[bcarp30]

DD was getting like that with the iPad so we just took it away completely. We also don't watch TV in the morning anymore, or if we do it's the news/Today show and very rarely a show for her. She was whiney at first but it's been so nice and she is handling the transition really well. It also makes it a HUGE treat when she gets to watch a show so when she watches something now it's not a battle to turn it off. I should note, however, that we noticed she was getting really naughty the more TV/iPad she watched and that also played into our decision to quit cold turkey.