"So what happened?" re your divorce question...

[Deleted]

If I hear this question one more time I might scream.

Today my financial planner asked it.  Inappropriate!

But then I walk that fine line of oversharing vs feeling rude/mind your own business.

That is all, just a vent.  Anyone with me? 

[katieido]

I'm always afraid I'll launch into a major over share so i try to just stick to "it's a long story for another time"

[atlas]

I'm not in this position but I would probably say something like "What makes you think that is an appropriate thing to ask?" brightly of course (TM SueSue)

[bg]

Could you try "things just didn't work out" and then change the subject? It doesn't address the inappropriateness of the question tho --I'd go atlas's route if you want to do that.

[Deleted]

Damn that sucks. People suck.

I don't mention my divorce much, but even when I have I have never gotten that question except for from my mom and best friend when I was first discussing the decision with them.

I would just say "it didn't work out."

[winecat]

When I was newly divorced, I'd tell people that we got divorced because I didn't like his girlfriend. Probably not the most adult thing to do, but hey I wasn't adulting very well those days.

[cuddlyevil]

I just say "it didn't work out" and change the subject.

[pinkdutchtulips]

if i'm in a BAD mood .. he chose meth over his own family

if i'm NOT in a bad mood .. things just didn't work out and change the subject.

[glynn]

I say he had a girlfriend since May and it usually shuts people up pretty fast. I just found out Monday that an old coworker just found out so everyone in town will know soon so I should not get asked.

[Mrs.Rad888]

Nov 3, 2015 21:54:40 GMT -5 winecat said:

When I was newly divorced, I'd tell people that we got divorced because I didn't like his girlfriend. Probably not the most adult thing to do, but hey I wasn't adulting very well those days.

LOL
Since XH and I were both in the Navy (at least he was until he got kicked out), I'd tell people that he couldn't keep his dinghy out of foreign ports.

I think most people that ask this question are looking for a juicy story, but for most of us that have been divorced, it's just mundane, boring stuff. I wouldn't give a serious answer unless I knew that the person asking was actually concerned about my well-being. 

[berbles]

Ew. The financial planner would REALLY bother me. Enough that I would probably send a follow-up email explaining that it was a very inappropriate and unprofessional question. Remind him/her that many divorced people are very sensitive about talking about their divorce and prying questions are not appropriate in a workplace.

[abcdefu]

I usually tell the WHOLE story. People regret asking and try to cut me off. Hey! you asked!

[Deleted]

"It didn't work out" is the general thing to say.

People that know me got the true long answer which basically they already knew. He was abusive and manipulative and ultimately I caught him cheating. 
If someone else asked me and I wanted to say more than "it didn't work out", I just state that he cheated.

pretty much now, I just pretend it never happened!  People ask if I'm married and I say not yet.  End of story. 

[MyName]

Lol, abcdefu, I'm the same way. I never said anything to anybody about the issues (except my little sister in a moment of weakness) the entire time it was going on (years!), so everyone was surprised when I moved out. When people asked, I usually said something along the lines of "well...he cheated on me a bunch of times and the last couple years were just...not good." I didn't call him out to his family/our friends/the public when it happened, but I will be damned if someone I am still friends with thinks it "just didn't work out". It would've worked out with any other decent human, and he blew it. That being said, my delivery is usually more "can you believe that?!" than "fuck that motherfucker, rot in hell". lol

[Serenity9]

I use "It didn't work out" and sometimes "I married the wrong guy" if I don't know the person very well. If it's a friend or someone who I want to give more of an answer to, I'll just say "He was verbally and emotionally abusive" without getting into too many details.

Somewhat related... the one I've been getting a lot lately is because I'm working on reverting back to my maiden name, and when I change my name with a doctor or registration, someone will say "Congratulations! I guess you got married!" And I say "No, I got divorced, but I'll take the congratulations anyway!"

[berbles]

Nov 5, 2015 18:07:06 GMT -5 Serenity9 said:

I use "It didn't work out" and sometimes "I married the wrong guy" if I don't know the person very well. If it's a friend or someone who I want to give more of an answer to, I'll just say "He was verbally and emotionally abusive" without getting into too many details.

Somewhat related... the one I've been getting a lot lately is because I'm working on reverting back to my maiden name, and when I change my name with a doctor or registration, someone will say "Congratulations! I guess you got married!" And I say "No, I got divorced, but I'll take the congratulations anyway!"

[LoveBug]

Similar to the other PPs, those who are close to me know the truth. When strangers inappropriately ask, I usually say a range of responses from "it didn't work out", to "he didn't treat me well" to "some people should not be together" to even "because I wasn't hearing about all the people he cheated on me with". I pick the one that will shut them up the faster, if I don't like the person.