Sick ex?

[ciscokid]

Clarity: my ex-H is not sick (that I am aware of). 

I work in a hospital. A coworker's ex-BF was admitted to critical care this morning. She is accomplishing nothing today except spending all of her time worrying about him (she broke up with him, it was not amicable). 

It it just made me curious. If your ex was sick/admitted to a hospital/terminally ill/special snowflake, would you go visit him/her? It wasn't something I had previously contemplated. 

[cuddlyevil]

Depends on the ex. ExH? I probably would, but we're amicable. I have visited terminally ill former in-laws, but he was in the ICU at the hospital where I work.

I don't know that I'd be non-functional, I'd be sad/worried--but probably more so for our kids.

[sessy]

Yes I would. He's the father of my children.

[Deleted]

I thought about this when Lamar Odum was hospitalized and Khloe Kardashian rushed to his side.

Honestly, I don't think I'd do anything if my XH was very sick. I honestly don't even know if I'd go to his funeral if he died. It's not that I hate him (thought I don't really like him, haha) and I wish him well. But he's not a part of my life anymore, and for good reason. What happens to him has nothing to do with me or my life anymore. I suppose I'd probably CARE, the same way I would if anyone I knew but wasn't close with was sick or died, but I have created a firm boundary with him and reaching out would only bring him back into my life and open up lines of communication that I prefer to have closed.

[brooke77]

Yes. It's been about 6 months since we split and I wish him no harm, even though we were not a functioning couple. 10 years from now? Maybe not.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Only if I had 2 sheriff's deputies accompany DD and I

My xbil would probably send me updates and if things got dicey i.e. he was on his deathbed, I'd take DD in to say goodbye but this would be after I called the local PD to accompany us due to the Protective Orders.

[1confused1]

Well, mine was and I didn't go see him, but I was worried, mostly because I didn't want to have to tell my kids their dad is dead.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Nov 4, 2015 17:55:46 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Well, mine was and I didn't go see him, but I was worried, mostly because I didn't want to have to tell my kids their dad is dead.

this is a huge fear of mine as well :/

[1confused1]

Nov 4, 2015 18:16:24 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Nov 4, 2015 17:55:46 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Well, mine was and I didn't go see him, but I was worried, mostly because I didn't want to have to tell my kids their dad is dead.

this is a huge fear of mine as well :/

:-(

Because we don't have any other things to worry about, right?

[Deleted]

Nope. I literally don't think I'd have any actual feelings about this at all. It's like he never even existed in my life. I saw a photo of him in an old scrapbook my mom had made and it was jarring. I have pretty much zero memories of our relationship.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Nov 4, 2015 18:17:04 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Nov 4, 2015 18:16:24 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

this is a huge fear of mine as well :/

Because we don't have any other things to worry about, right?

I told myself when I left either he'll get his act together OR be buried 6ft under ;/ I don't worry about it a lot - I figure if something REALLY bad happens I'll hear something from the sheriff's office or the homeless outreach group I have contacts with that have helped him in the past.

[MauMau]

Never would I visit. I could really careless at this point. And I'd probably be glad I wasn't around him go to deal with that shitty emotional roller coaster.

[jellymankelly]

XH, yes, without question. It's amicable, and he's been in my life for 14 years (although the last 4 it's just been as my co-parent). Some other ex BF, no. I don't like being on bad terms with people, so I make sure to be cordial, but I wouldn't even consider visiting if some random ex was there, especially the one I dated before I met my FI (and he's pretty self-destructive, so it's likely he'll end up there at some point).

[berbles]

Yes. XH and I are still friendly. I would probably go see his parents in the hospital if either of them was sick.

[bl]

Yes even with living in another state if it were serious like deathbed I would jump on a flight and go see him. If it were just sick, but will be okay I would worry and request updated, but would not go see him. He is still a good guy and while we had our issues we shared 10 years and many of them were good, and I will always have a place in my heart for him.

[MyName]

Ugh, yes I would visit XH and do whatever I could to help him and his family. He was a total asshole and cheated on me, etc, but we were together 12 years and over the last 2 years since I left, he had made me believe he is a broken man now who really regrets everything he did and realizes he ruined his life of his own free will. That will never make me be real friends or get back together with him, but I would always be there when it's dire. I know I have a martyr complex and my friends and family would think I was stupid/crazy for even giving a shit, but to him and his family it would mean the world...so, assuming nothing was going on with my own family/friends...I'd be there.

[sweetchix]

Nov 4, 2015 15:04:22 GMT -5 sessy said:

Yes I would. He's the father of my children.

This.

[greysgirl]

ExH I would, he is my son's father and I have come to a peaceful place with him. My exbf of 3.5 years and I broke up a few months ago. We still keep and touch and are on good terms, I would absolutely for him.

[prettyinpearls]

Clearly I'm the only heartless bitch here, seeing how I burst out laughing at the idea of going to my XH in the hospital. That's what his wife is for, not me.

Father of my child or not, it's not my place, nor do I want it to be.  

[pinkdutchtulips]

Nov 5, 2015 10:53:03 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

Clearly I'm the only heartless bitch here, seeing how I burst out laughing at the idea of going to my XH in the hospital. That's what his wife is for, not me.

Father of my child or not, it's not my place, nor do I want it to be.  

shortly after I left xh, he was shot and in the hospital ... my first thought was oh god this is it followed by OMG SO GLAD he's not my problem ...

No I didn't visit him in the hospital bc 1- I'd be violating the RO and 2- he signed himself out against medical advice

[Serenity9]

No. I wouldn't. I would be sad and say a prayer for him, but I wouldn't call or visit. If he recovered and got out of the hospital, it might be construed as an invitation for him to interfere in my life again. I wish him well, but I don't want him in my life.

[glitzyglow]

If he specifically requested for me to come and see him, I would. Otherwise, no.

[Mrs.Rad888]

Nov 5, 2015 10:53:03 GMT -5 prettyinpearls said:

Clearly I'm the only heartless bitch here, seeing how I burst out laughing at the idea of going to my XH in the hospital. That's what his wife is for, not me.

Father of my child or not, it's not my place, nor do I want it to be.  

Same here! I'd go just to make sure he's really in pain, and maybe to hold a pillow over his face, but not out of any well-wishes.
Just because he knocked me up doesn't give him a place in my life. If he was worth a shit we'd still be married (I totally shuddered at that thought).

[daisyn]

If my ex-husband was in the hospital the last thing in the world he'd want would be to see me haha

[Deleted]

Yes I would. We don't have kids but we are amicable and he doesn't have any local family.