Hi. I'm new.

[itsalllies]

Hi. I'm not sure if intros are a thing here but I felt weird to just start posting.

My husband and I have been together 16 years, married for 6. We have a two year old. I caught him in a lie and when I questioned him he flipped out and left. He says he's not sure if he wants to work things out. I'm kind of in shock. I had no idea our relationship was at its breaking point. We have been together through so much I always thought we could/would work through anything. Silly me!

Nonetheless, here I am. Unsure what the future holds and trying not to fall apart.

[GilliC]

I'm sorry that you found yourself in this situation, but the board is a great resource and very supportive. Whatever happens, it's bound to be an emotional roller coaster, but you'll make it through. Hang in there!

[jojoandleo]

Wait, you caught HIM in a lie and HE flipped out and now HE isn't sure he wants to work it out? Oh honey, you are being gaslighted. I wouldn't be sure *I* would be willing to work things out.

[calle28]

Sorry you find yourself here.

What was the lie?? He sounds guilty as hell.

[bg]

Sorry you're here, but welcome!

He's not sure of what he wants. What do you want?

[itsalllies]

Yeah I feel the same way. The fact that he chose to leave instead of answering my questions says a lot, imo. I'm not sure what I want at this point. We've been together since we were teens and I feel like I can't imagine my life without him, but atthe same time, things would have to change. I think if he were willing to go to counseling, maybe we could try, but I don't think he would. Also, my Heart breaks for my LO. She spent the day with him yesterday and when I picked her up she sobbed for him to come with us.

[jojoandleo]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I promise your LO will be okay. My parents divorced when I was five and I don't even remember the divorce.

Your feelings are normal.

[glynn]

So sorry...... My H asked for a divorce in May totally out of the blue. Found out in the next few days that he had a coworker girlfriend. He refuses to leave our home. We have a 8 year old.

[itsalllies]

I'm sorry that you ladies are here too. I hope your hearts are on the mend and day by day things are getting better for you.

[itsalllies]

Nov 13, 2015 16:56:15 GMT -5 glynn said:

So sorry...... My H asked for a divorce in May totally out of the blue. Found out in the next few days that he had a coworker girlfriend. He refuses to leave our home. We have a 8 year old.

funny(?) enough, my story also involves a coworker!

[Deleted]

I'm sorry.  jojoandleo is right, he's gas lighting you.  You did nothing wrong...except catch him in a lie.  Do what's best for you.  Sit down and think about if you can ever trust him.  You will make it through this.  Hugs

[glitzyglow]

I ended things with my high school sweetheart. It was hard, but the relief of burden makes it worth it. My parents also divorced when I was 1yo. It's just my normal and I don't ever think about it as being detrimental.

[itsalllies]

Thank you for the reassurance and support ladies. I've been staying with my mother and dd seems to be doing well. I think it helps to have my mom and brother around to distract from the situation. As for me, I have my moments. This all just sucks.

[coda]

Good luck. Will you have to stay with your mom for long? It is good to have family support, but I don't know about you I love my mom and I'm staying with mine too but she's driving me crazy! Hopefully you are having a better time with yours.

[itsalllies]

Nov 16, 2015 4:51:40 GMT -5 coda said:

Good luck. Will you have to stay with your mom for long? It is good to have family support, but I don't know about you I love my mom and I'm staying with mine too but she's driving me crazy! Hopefully you are having a better time with yours.

I could go home. My husband and I have a house and he left so it's just sitting there empty, but I can't face it right now. Plus Being around her and my brother is a good distraction for dd. Every day I say I'm going home and then I can't get myself up to go. My mom has been very supportive. I think we are driving her nuts this time. lol

[coda]

Nov 16, 2015 7:00:53 GMT -5 itsalllies said:

Nov 16, 2015 4:51:40 GMT -5 coda said:

Good luck. Will you have to stay with your mom for long? It is good to have family support, but I don't know about you I love my mom and I'm staying with mine too but she's driving me crazy! Hopefully you are having a better time with yours.

I could go home. My husband and I have a house and he left so it's just sitting there empty, but I can't face it right now. Plus Being around her and my brother is a good distraction for dd. Every day I say I'm going home and then I can't get myself up to go. My mom has been very supportive. I think we are driving her nuts this time. lol

You are lucky to have her then and I'm sure she understands.

[itsalllies]

Nov 16, 2015 8:14:22 GMT -5 coda said:

Nov 16, 2015 7:00:53 GMT -5 itsalllies said:

I could go home. My husband and I have a house and he left so it's just sitting there empty, but I can't face it right now. Plus Being around her and my brother is a good distraction for dd. Every day I say I'm going home and then I can't get myself up to go. My mom has been very supportive. I think we are driving her nuts this time. lol

You are lucky to have her then and I'm sure she understands.

Unfortunately she does because my dad walked out on her when we were little.    

[1confused1]

I'm sorry that you are here.

[jigsy]

I'm sorry you have found yourself here and I am sorry that you have been blindsided. I also didn't know that my marriage was past the point of no return, I thought we just had some issues we needed to work out. It sucks so bad...but it does get better. I can say that you will get support here no matter what direction you choose to go.

I will note that though the idea of moving forward in your life without this person who has been such a huge part of it may sound daunting, it does get better. I don't think there has ever been a poster here who, after they grieved the relationship, thought they were worse off for leaving a relationship that wasn't working. I know I have never been happier, and I think most women here would say the same.

(((hugs)))

[itsalllies]

Nov 16, 2015 12:13:19 GMT -5 jigsy said:

I'm sorry you have found yourself here and I am sorry that you have been blindsided. I also didn't know that my marriage was past the point of no return, I thought we just had some issues we needed to work out. It sucks so bad...but it does get better. I can say that you will get support here no matter what direction you choose to go.

I will note that though the idea of moving forward in your life without this person who has been such a huge part of it may sound daunting, it does get better. I don't think there has ever been a poster here who, after they grieved the relationship, thought they were worse off for leaving a relationship that wasn't working. I know I have never been happier, and I think most women here would say the same.

(((hugs)))

Thank you jigsy.  My head and my heart need to catch up to each other.  I think I know what I need to do and what is best, I just need to be able to accept it.

I'm sorry that you were in a similar place but I'm glad that you're in a much better one now.  I hope to get there one day too. thank you for the words of support.

I'm glad I found this little corner of the internet world.