Long distance dating

[1confused1]

If you're having fun, go for it!

I dated a guy who lives about an hour away from me and it ultimately didn't work out. Between work, our kids, etc., that hour was just enough to make it too hard to date.

[verycontrary247]

I wouldn't date him.

I would have sex with him though.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Go for it ! Have fun w it !

I dated someone about 45 mins away ... close enough to get together somewhat easily but far enough away where I could do my own thing and not feel guilty about it

[itsalllies]

I don't see the harm in going for it. It sounds like you travel frequently enough to see him often. If you're having fun, why not?

[blanca]

I would have fun with it and see what happens. You never know

[bl]

I say go for it especially if it's just fun right now. If at some point it turns into more then deal with it then. Says the girl who is currently dating someone 900 miles away and considering an actual relationship with said guy.

[GilliC]

If you're having fun, go for it. I loved having out-of-town hookups. Shortly after my divorce, I was "seeing" a guy who traveled to my city for work every few months, and when I was traveling for work, there was a guy I'd call and make plans with.

My biggest piece of advice is to be very clear about things up front. Even though I'd told my work-trip guy that I wasn't ready for a relationship, he was shattered when I called things off. (He had somehow interpreted "I'm not ready to be in a relationship" as "I need some time to be free and wild before I can settle down and commit to monogamy with you.")



So that's my advice for LD hookups. However, this is actually how things started with my current boyfriend. I was on a business trip, and he was just a fling while I was in town. We were both pretty clear about that. But once I got home, I was still thinking about him a lot, because I really liked him, so we made plans to see each other again. And again.

Frankly, the distance is one of the reasons I feel so strong about us as a couple (4 years later). We were always very honest with each other, because we acknowledged that the easiest thing would be to fine a dealbreaker and end things. Not very romantic, but practical. And more importantly, it meant that we didn't hesitate to talk about some of the big scary things right up front. (In the past, including with XH, I've been overly invested in a relationship and glossed over issues that came up too late.)

The distance has also ensured that we both continue to live our own lives and pursue our own interests and friendships. Balancing old friendships and a new relationship pretty much became a non-issue. And of course we learned to trust each other from the very beginning.

[Wanderista]

I used to be the queen of LDRs. Distance was a factor in all of my relationships. I was also not great at keeping things casual in those circumstances. For my current relationship, a major plus is that it's not long distance though we do live in different parts of a large metro area which also affords us some of our own space.

I would say that I had a lot of fun but I'm glad to not have distance now. I don't see anything wrong with what you're describing though and LDRs can certainly work. Every scenario is different. I had a lot of fun and a lot of heartbreak. I did date some really interesting people though, for the most part.

[formerlyak]

My brother hooked up with a girl who doesn't live in our city, but has family here, about 2 years ago. She lives in a different state - 15 hour drive or 2 hour plane ride away. She cannot move because of her kids and he can't move because of work. They have been together since the night they met. They watch movies over FaceTime together. They talk and text daily. And then travel to see each other about once a month. They love each other very much and I have never seen my brother this happy. We have all met her kids and they get along great with my older DS who is their age. They call each other "cousins". Even her ex supports this relationship because he sees how much their boys like my brother. Neither of them are in a rush to get remarried and I don't know that either of them care if they ever get married. I think her plan is to move to our city once her boys are in college - which is quite some time away - but that's what will work for all involved.

All this to say, if you like him, see where things go. You never know.

[GilliC]

Nov 19, 2015 11:58:28 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

My brother hooked up with a girl who doesn't live in our city, but has family here, about 2 years ago. She lives in a different state - 15 hour drive or 2 hour plane ride away. She cannot move because of her kids and he can't move because of work. They have been together since the night they met. They watch movies over FaceTime together. They talk and text daily. And then travel to see each other about once a month. They love each other very much and I have never seen my brother this happy. We have all met her kids and they get along great with my older DS who is their age. They call each other "cousins". Even her ex supports this relationship because he sees how much their boys like my brother. Neither of them are in a rush to get remarried and I don't know that either of them care if they ever get married. I think her plan is to move to our city once her boys are in college - which is quite some time away - but that's what will work for all involved.

All this to say, if you like him, see where things go. You never know.

We do this. We have a few TV shows that we watch "together" every week.

We also leave Skype on a lot of the time. It's kind of like having the person in the next room, so you can pop in when you want to say something, but you can still do whatever you'd normally be doing (cooking, watching TV, etc).

I think LDRs sucked a lot more before free video calling!

[LoveBug]

I wouldn't consider LDD but only because I have full custody of my DD so it would be too challenging to travel. But do it if you can/want to!

[Deleted]

I'm currently in a long distance relationship, so yes.

We started dating in Jan and I moved away from his city in June, so we did have those first few months in the same city.

We're definitely exclusive and I honestly think we both prefer the space in some ways. He has a non traditional job and travels a lot and makes his own schedule so he can come visit me pretty much whenever he wants, so that does help (it's about 2 hours door to door on the train).

We don't really text much during the day but talk on the phone or face time almost every night. We've always been good, even when we're in the same city, about having focused time with no distractions to talk and hang out.

I feel like we're still in the dating phase and getting to know each other though and I don't think the distance really hinders us. It works well for our personalities and needs.

[glitzyglow]

I would do just that...roll with it and have fun.