Post by irene adler on Nov 19, 2015 10:34:34 GMT -5
I don't know if I would call this judging or simply side eyeing – I recently fell down the rabbit hole of Instagram pictures with the hashtag candid.
Lol. Yup. Someone just happened to snap a picture of you sipping coffee in dappled sunlight while thoughtfully looking to the bright new tomorrow.
ETA--Not that I think it's bad to take a cool photo and share it. But if it's clearly posed and you can tell the subject is not in the moment, no need to pretend.
My sister uses the steps in her home like they are shelves. The sides of her staircases are littered with all sorts of shit. Every. Single. Step. She lives in a multi level townhome so she's got four flights of stairs.
It annoys me no end.
YOU HAVE A BOOKSHELF. USE YOUR BOOKSHELF OR PUT YOUR JUNK AWAY.
OMG. My husband does this with the basement steps. It's almost always bottles of craft beer he's bought, or glassware he needs to put back on his glass shelf in the basement, so in addition to the tripping hazard there's also the broken glass risk. Sometimes it's laundry detergent when he's helping me unload the groceries, or his tools, since our laundry room and his toolbench are both in the basement ... IDK why he can't just walk down and put it away the first time, rather than "I'll just leave it there until I actually need to go down there for something." And half the time he forgets to bring it down with him anyway.
Usually they're on the side of the steps so I bite my tongue don't say anything, or I put it away myself. And now FIL's massive piles of crap are cluttering up the basement and it's blocking our path to both his beer fridge and his glass shelves, so there's nowhere to put anything anymore.
One week he had stuff on both sides of the steps, leaving only a narrow middle patch to walk through. I was carrying laundry down the stairs and nearly fell trying to avoid all his junk, which resulted in me screaming at him. He actually argued "But they're like shelves!" and "You don't walk on the SIDE of the stairs, right? So what's the problem?"
I'm going back and forth with a colleague about a link I posted from SPLC about a woman who was held at gunpoint outside her own house because her neighbor called her in as breaking in. He was all, well I've been held at gunpoint, and I was like, yeah and what happened when they realized their mistake? Apologies galore? And this happened to you once. I know that every interaction I've ever had with law enforcement has been positive, including when I've broken the law (traffic violations). That is not how it goes for people of color. And he's being so obtuse about it. And being all pro Dr. Carson on another post to prove something.
I'm not going to defriend and I'm trying not to be rude because I want him to maybe learn something. But he's my age and LDS and I know what they think about people of color according to their scripture. And we have the same job. He's in charge of people.
I am LDS and this has nothing to do with Mormon doctrine*, your friend is just being a jerk. I could provide links and whatnot but I assure you this all him. If he is creating ideas and pushing them off as doctrine that is his own problem.
*Yes, black people were prohibited from holding the priesthood until the 70's. No, I don't agree with it and yes, I can try to explain it, but I won't. It was wrong, it is no longer in force, and it is a sad part of LDS history. I have never met a member of the church that believes that a person's skin color makes them more or less than anyone else. I'm sure they exist but I am lucky enough not to know them.
I have a FB friend that is a "coach" for an MLM that promotes exercise and meal plans and such (I don't want to put the name lest they track us down). She also has a blog and on her FB she will post a picture at least once a day and superimpose a quote across the pic. The annoying part is that 90% of the time the credit for the quote is her blog name. Who quotes themselves? It's weird.
I'm ready to hide until the moving trucks come. I'm silently judging all of our friends who are like, "we need to get together before you go!" but not offering one whist of help. I'm solo parenting until Thanksgiving, while trying to wrap up a fellowship and purge a house. AND, I'm pregnant, so I'm just really not feeling like doing anything but sleeping.
Post by jillboston on Nov 19, 2015 13:02:44 GMT -5
the spate of foreclosure clients I've had recently who inherit a home free and clear and proceed to suck it dry of money through serial refinancing (yesterday's example was $250,000 in less than 8 years) and want me to fix it... worst case I had was two homes inherited (one by each spouse) mortgages run up on each (roughly $600,000 worth) - one lost to foreclosure one blessedly sold before that happened.
Post by imojoebunny on Nov 19, 2015 13:56:00 GMT -5
My mother for insisting on bringing nasty Costco lunch on Sunday, instead of going out to one of the 20 great restaurants within walking distance of our house. It is not a money issue, she just likes to eat gross food, and doesn't like my cooking (It is too rich, too bland, too many weird vegetables, too Italian, too whatever she feels like complaining about). And she wonders why we don't invite her to visit often.
Post by keweenawlove on Nov 19, 2015 14:10:53 GMT -5
SIL and her BF are getting a purebred lab puppy. They're taking out a loan to do it. They've already commented how "all rescue dogs have issues" so they don't want to deal with it. I just can't even talk to them if that's they attitude.
I am LDS and this has nothing to do with Mormon doctrine*, your friend is just being a jerk. I could provide links and whatnot but I assure you this all him. If he is creating ideas and pushing them off as doctrine that is his own problem.
*Yes, black people were prohibited from holding the priesthood until the 70's. No, I don't agree with it and yes, I can try to explain it, but I won't. It was wrong, it is no longer in force, and it is a sad part of LDS history. I have never met a member of the church that believes that a person's skin color makes them more or less than anyone else. I'm sure they exist but I am lucky enough not to know them.
You're right, that wasn't fair.
I definitely can't fault the LDS for having a racist past, God knows most American institutions do, including my own professional and religious one.
I actually would like to talk further with you, if you're willing to teach, how you get past the stuff in the Book of Mormon about the Lamanites? I kind of understand how it's possible to get past older D&Cs that were in error or don't work now. I'm not a biblical literalist at all for my own faith. Are most LDS similar in that? I come from an area with a large LDS population, about a dozen wards, and almost every member I know is great. They're currently filling my FB with pro refugee stuff. But there are a few who are racist. And who I've talked to about their doctrinal stuff, and that's how they justify it.
And this guy is the whitest guy in the world, and he's being a jerk, and it's making me angry. Sorry for being unfair.
No worries. I wasn't upset, I was just trying to clarify.
I started writing a response re. Lamanites but it turned in to a novel so I will send it in a PM. Warning- It contains lots of words. Sorry. Haha.
Post by explorer2001 on Nov 19, 2015 14:34:21 GMT -5
This one ought to be good for a laugh...
My ex boyfriend from like 5 years ago called over the weekend out of the blue. This is the guy who swore up and down he wanted kids, a good family life, to find a nice church, and that he was going to get his degree finished and make more than me soon working either in IT or oil & gas engineering. Yeah... LOL! I broke up with him after telling him I was tired of hearing how he wanted ABC, when his behavior was aligned with XYZ and wouldn't ever get him there. Until he sorted out what he really wanted I couldn't help him solve anything.
Yup, he spent years bouncing around aimlessly, apparently now is a long haul trucker (nothing wrong with that inherently, just not at all aligned with what he said he wanted). He had to give up most of his hobbies because of being on the road, etc. But apparently his family is still doing well (I had become friends with them back in the day and am very happy they are doing well.
Then he was all sad puppy on the phone when he asked how my life was going. I talked about loving my career, having a wonderful pup and a sweet amazing boyfriend; plus a few things about travels, friends, accomplishments, mentoring and volunteering stuff, still having my house and continued upgrades in progress which have been my hobbies for years.
I feel a bit sad for him but mostly it was just super weird and awkward to call someone years later and expect what? That I wouldn't have continued to move forward with my life in a positive direction? That I would somehow want him back? That I shouldn't be happy? That he was going to get to gloat about him living the dream and me not? I just don't know. He was rather dejected and pathetic at the end and I feel like he didn't get what he wanted out of the call. Still, dude grow up! You don't do that and it really isn't fair to try to make me feel bad because our lives took the direction they did based on each of our actions or in actions.
TLDR: Ex boyfriend called out of the blue 5 years later. No grown up pulls this kind of high school shit in their 40s right? Maybe that's why things worked out the way they did.
I'm ready to hide until the moving trucks come. I'm silently judging all of our friends who are like, "we need to get together before you go!" but not offering one whist of help. I'm solo parenting until Thanksgiving, while trying to wrap up a fellowship and purge a house. AND, I'm pregnant, so I'm just really not feeling like doing anything but sleeping.
I'm about over it.
I know the feeling, we were never as busy, nor as loved as the last two weeks we lived in PA. It was a little offensive, like I'm glad you'll miss us, but you didn't think to bring us a meal when DS was born. Or offer us to come over for a holiday when we weren't going home to see family?
I know it's hard to see it now, but soon you'll be settled in your new place and it will all be better.
Post by irene adler on Nov 19, 2015 14:50:08 GMT -5
I am judging myself right now.
Brother and SIL asked what our plans were for thanksgiving because they wanted to come down here. I told them I'd check b/c Dh's family gets priority for Thanksgiving this year (MIL is hosting, and very much the more the merrier, your family is my family, baby crazy type.)
I accidentally freaked out when talking to my mom that I was nervous about them coming because a) Dh has a colonoscopy the day before thanksgiving and what if we get bad news; and b) there is no place for my niece to quietly nap in our very small, non toddler proofed house. I have since calmed down and started to get excited
They have since decided not to come, and if I want to see my niece before the end of 2015, I will have to drive up there I wish I had kept my mouth shut in the case that my mom told them my concerns
I'm ready to hide until the moving trucks come. I'm silently judging all of our friends who are like, "we need to get together before you go!" but not offering one whist of help. I'm solo parenting until Thanksgiving, while trying to wrap up a fellowship and purge a house. AND, I'm pregnant, so I'm just really not feeling like doing anything but sleeping.
I'm about over it.
I know the feeling, we were never as busy, nor as loved as the last two weeks we lived in PA. It was a little offensive, like I'm glad you'll miss us, but you didn't think to bring us a meal when DS was born. Or offer us to come over for a holiday when we weren't going home to see family?
I know it's hard to see it now, but soon you'll be settled in your new place and it will all be better.
Eeehhh, its better than what we got.....radio silence and people canceling on dinner plans we made. It was like we didn't exist as soon as we told people we were moving.
I have a FB friend that is a "coach" for an MLM that promotes exercise and meal plans and such (I don't want to put the name lest they track us down). She also has a blog and on her FB she will post a picture at least once a day and superimpose a quote across the pic. The annoying part is that 90% of the time the credit for the quote is her blog name. Who quotes themselves? It's weird.
Because the quote is so cool and will be super popular she wants credit when others repost it, of course.
I have a FB friend that is a "coach" for an MLM that promotes exercise and meal plans and such (I don't want to put the name lest they track us down). She also has a blog and on her FB she will post a picture at least once a day and superimpose a quote across the pic. The annoying part is that 90% of the time the credit for the quote is her blog name. Who quotes themselves? It's weird.
Because the quote is so cool and will be super popular she wants credit when others repost it, of course.
I'll give you a few so you can pass them along. "Positive minds equal positive thoughts." and "Be so in love with your life that people can't stop watching you shine!"
Because the quote is so cool and will be super popular she wants credit when others repost it, of course.
I'll give you a few so you can pass them along. "Positive minds equal positive thoughts." and "Be so in love with your life that people can't stop watching you shine!"
Shine on, Sista!
Ohhh, I needed something to go hate-read for 20 minutes. Off to the MLM facebooks I've blocked!
I know the feeling, we were never as busy, nor as loved as the last two weeks we lived in PA. It was a little offensive, like I'm glad you'll miss us, but you didn't think to bring us a meal when DS was born. Or offer us to come over for a holiday when we weren't going home to see family?
I know it's hard to see it now, but soon you'll be settled in your new place and it will all be better.
Eeehhh, its better than what we got.....radio silence and people canceling on dinner plans we made. It was like we didn't exist as soon as we told people we were moving.
Wow, that would be tough. I'm sorry they were like that.
My husband's aunt, who posted the following on Facebook:
And then, when for the first time ever someone (a niece on the other side, maybe?) responded to her bullshit -- in this case with the whole "remember when a ship of Jews were turned away by us and then ended up killed" story, she replied "No one on that ship was a threat to the security of the USA. Everyone, with a heart, wants innocent people protected. No one wants terrorists in their country who will kill innocent people."
I feel like I need to quit FB after everything I've read on there in the past week. I'll just spend more time here, you are all my peoples and no one makes me angry.
My sister uses the steps in her home like they are shelves. The sides of her staircases are littered with all sorts of shit. Every. Single. Step. She lives in a multi level townhome so she's got four flights of stairs.
It annoys me no end.
YOU HAVE A BOOKSHELF. USE YOUR BOOKSHELF OR PUT YOUR JUNK AWAY.
I do this with stuff that needs to go upstairs since I am lazy. It slowly makes its way up there. Mainly because I make the children do it.
SIL and her BF are getting a purebred lab puppy. They're taking out a loan to do it. They've already commented how "all rescue dogs have issues" so they don't want to deal with it. I just can't even talk to them if that's they attitude.
I am joining you in this side-eye. I get SO MAD when people shell out big bucks for animals while others die in shelters.
SIL and her BF are getting a purebred lab puppy. They're taking out a loan to do it. They've already commented how "all rescue dogs have issues" so they don't want to deal with it. I just can't even talk to them if that's they attitude.
I am joining you in this side-eye. I get SO MAD when people shell out big bucks for animals while others die in shelters.
I have to add to this. Yes, all rescue dogs have issues if you count that they needed a loving home before they found one. They may not seem perfect at first but really I can't stand people who refuse to consider rescuing. If you didn't have a clue and learned later or were actually showing, OK maybe you get a pass, but even if you want a pure bred there are rescues for nearly every breed.
That said my cousin and her BFF are both getting golden retriever puppies. They live in small one bedroom apartments and are going to grad school while working. I don't see how they can think they will manage puppies. Plus they were cooing over my wonderful rescue pup and are in for a rude untrained puppy awakening.
SIL and her BF are getting a purebred lab puppy. They're taking out a loan to do it. They've already commented how "all rescue dogs have issues" so they don't want to deal with it. I just can't even talk to them if that's they attitude.
I am joining you in this side-eye. I get SO MAD when people shell out big bucks for animals while others die in shelters.
Absolutely! And taking out a LOAN?!? What?! I would have a pretty rough time keeping my mouth shut, but you've obviously already seen how much good that doesn't do, OP. Enjoy Thanksgiving!! (sorry, sending vibes of patience & effective tongue biting!)
The irresponsible dog owner at the vet who let his dog jump up and paw my LV purse sand then bum rush my cat who was in his soft sided carrier. My poor kitten was so scared.
I am joining you in this side-eye. I get SO MAD when people shell out big bucks for animals while others die in shelters.
I have to add to this. Yes, all rescue dogs have issues if you count that they needed a loving home before they found one. They may not seem perfect at first but really I can't stand people who refuse to consider rescuing. If you didn't have a clue and learned later or were actually showing, OK maybe you get a pass, but even if you want a pure bred there are rescues for nearly every breed.
That said my cousin and her BFF are both getting golden retriever puppies. They live in small one bedroom apartments and are going to grad school while working. I don't see how they can think they will manage puppies. Plus they were cooing over my wonderful rescue pup and are in for a rude untrained puppy awakening.
That sounds like a wonderful plan
Don't get me started on the issues IL's purebred dogs have had. They had one who was so scared on loud noises that she would just a 5 foot fence and run away at the slightest hint of thunder. Dealing with them as puppies just sounds awful. They're so cute to visit but I don't know if I ever want to deal with a puppy. I'll just stick with my issue-ridden shelter dog who was $50 on "clearance" from the shelter. She's pretty awesome.
I'm going back and forth with a colleague about a link I posted from SPLC about a woman who was held at gunpoint outside her own house because her neighbor called her in as breaking in. He was all, well I've been held at gunpoint, and I was like, yeah and what happened when they realized their mistake? Apologies galore? And this happened to you once. I know that every interaction I've ever had with law enforcement has been positive, including when I've broken the law (traffic violations). That is not how it goes for people of color. And he's being so obtuse about it. And being all pro Dr. Carson on another post to prove something.
I'm not going to defriend and I'm trying not to be rude because I want him to maybe learn something. But he's my age and LDS and I know what they think about people of color according to their scripture. And we have the same job. He's in charge of people.
Completely off topic but your signature just made me spit a half eaten grape all over my keyboard laughing.