WWYD Family Situation

[ECB]

My advice- stop saying "I want to come". Say "I AM coming". You want to spend time w/ your neice - that isn't your mom's decision! Just be firm about it. You are coming, you will be there, can't wait to see everyone.

[Becca]

Aug 26, 2012 7:35:58 GMT -5 ECB said:

My advice- stop saying "I want to come". Say "I AM coming". You want to spend time w/ your neice - that isn't your mom's decision! Just be firm about it. You are coming, you will be there, can't wait to see everyone.

Sure fire way to piss off a new mom.

[Willis Jackson]

Aug 26, 2012 8:48:22 GMT -5 Becca said:

Aug 26, 2012 7:35:58 GMT -5 ECB said:

My advice- stop saying "I want to come". Say "I AM coming". You want to spend time w/ your neice - that isn't your mom's decision! Just be firm about it. You are coming, you will be there, can't wait to see everyone.

Sure fire way to piss off a new mom.

I usually agree with ECB on family stuff, but I agree with Becca here. Just because she's your mom doesn't mean you can show up at her house uninvited. You don't live there anymore.

[h]

Aug 26, 2012 7:12:31 GMT -5 GailGoldie said:

have you flat out asked your mom "why is it that you seem to be discouraging me from coming??? I'm really feeling like I'm not wanted and don't understand what the problem is?".

I think it's silly to keep wondering why, etc.... could be nothing (like others said- not wanting to plan too much) or something she's being stupid about (IF worries, etc).... but i think you need to talk it out.

I agree. This is your mom and your sister. Flat out ask them what's up and have an honest conversation about the situation.

[drloretta]

Honestly, it sounds to me like you have no idea how to take care of your niece, since you don't know if/how many diaper changes you'd be doing or what you'd do with her all day. It sounds like your parents are more used to what to do with her, even with your mom working, and she'd rather deal with her husband's way of doing things than having you call every 5 minutes asking what to do.

Just my perspective from the peanut gallery.

[ECB]

Aug 26, 2012 8:48:22 GMT -5 Becca said:

Aug 26, 2012 7:35:58 GMT -5 ECB said:

My advice- stop saying "I want to come". Say "I AM coming". You want to spend time w/ your neice - that isn't your mom's decision! Just be firm about it. You are coming, you will be there, can't wait to see everyone.

Sure fire way to piss off a new mom.

O.k - to clarify 2 things. First, I don't mean say this to her sister (the new mom). I'm saying this to say this to her mom who is giving her a hard time.

2nd - I'm not saying to say this in a bitchy way. Just firmly, to make it more clear that this is REALLY what she wants. I don't know if I can explain this right- but "I want to come" (argue argue argue) can still come across as wishy washy.

If her moms push back is at all around the "Oh, I want to spare your feelings" - her mom may think she's just saying this to "say the right thing". Of COURSE she should want to come and see her neice - but does she REALLY want to?

But I dont' disagree w/ just asking her mom what's going on. That might give her some insight and a better way to approach this.