I only like this because I understand the feeling. Even though I haven't spanked my child, I have wanted to beat his ass many times in the heat of the moment. 6 was a tough age.
I'm here too. I've never spanked, I have no plans to, and I would be really disappointed in myself if I ever did, but MAN I want to sometimes!
Me too. I once did the Daniel tiger stomp because I was so frustrated and wanted to spank. That was my outlet instead.
I'm not sure if my friends spank. I don't plan to do it hard, just a tap if they act up. Kind of like now if they throw their food I tap their hand but never to where it will hurt, more to get my point across. I know they're still really young so it takes a lot for me to get angry at them.
Post by sleepyheads on Nov 25, 2015 13:11:45 GMT -5
I was not spanked, but H was - most of the time a belt was used or a wooden spoon or a switch, and it ocurred at least once a week until he was 16. He HATED his childhood for several reasons, this being one of them. We do not spank our children.
I am not surprised that people spank. I would guess more people spank than not.
No one we know nearby (Chicago) spanks but most of my high school friends in Ohio do. I was at a wedding telling a funny story about DS1 misbehaving (drawing on the walls) and had a friend's husband get all Serious and tell me that he wouldn't act like that if I would spank. I've never seen MH so angry.
DH was never spanked, I was a handful of times (for serious misbehaving). We do not spank our kids. I've seriously contemplated it a few times, but never done it.
ETA: I know some of my friends do, but they've never done it in front of me.
We saw a dad swat his daughter at the zoo last week and Dh and I both shot daggers at him with our eyes. He looked kind of ashamed and gave his daughter a hug. No one I actually know spanks.
Post by sunshineandpinot on Nov 25, 2015 14:08:08 GMT -5
I have spanked. Probably less than 10-12 times total and my kids are 7 and 4. Obviously I do not do it often but it is VERY effective and my point is made very quickly. I do not threaten with it. It is only done when they have done something they totally should not have and knew better. I have no regrets and usually feel better afterwards.
Not surprised at all. My parents didn't spank and we won't spank our kids, but I am aware that plenty of people do.
I'm surprised at people who don't see it. Maybe it's because I live in an urban area so everything is more public, but I've seen kids spanked in public plenty of times. Also the hand slap that some call 'powpows.'
I've also been told that not spanking is for white people. We discussed physical discipline in a class recently and several students (master's students at NYU) were shocked by the idea that it's possible to raise good kids without spanking or hitting ever. So there's that.
I have spanked. Probably less than 10-12 times total and my kids are 7 and 4. Obviously I do not do it often but it is VERY effective and my point is made very quickly. I do not threaten with it. It is only done when they have done something they totally should not have and knew better. I have no regrets and usually feel better afterwards.
(((puts on flame retardant suit)))
I know it's a common practice and all so while it still surprises me and I don't think it's a good method of discipline, I try not to judge. Until you said it makes you feel better...yuck.
Post by ilikedonuts on Nov 25, 2015 15:09:40 GMT -5
I know a good amount of people that spank. Some friends (I use that term looely) have spanked their kids in front of me and my kids. It was awkward and uncomfortable. DD1 (she was probably 3 or 3 1/2 at the time) was like "do I go hug my friend because he's sad? what is going on?"
One of my friends took her son into a bedroom when we were all hanging at another friend's house and spanked him 4 times. I was shocked. I'm not surprised by the # that think it's ok. I have people on my FB (mostly very conservative family) that think it's fine.
I don't know if any of my friends spank. It's not a topic of discussion with any of us and I have never witnessed it being done. I don't spank and neither does my husband.
I was spanked and DH was not. He has always been against it whereas until we actually had a kid, I felt like it wasn't such a big deal, I didn't feel that I had been abused or mistreated, etc. But now that we have a child I can't even imagine hitting her. She is so little and I am so big.
I tried it once when we had tried everything else, and he laughed so hard. Not effective for us, but I sure wish I could find something that works because he's a nut lately.
Not surprised. I just overheard a conversation of two coworkers a couple of weeks ago talking about how they spank their kids and judging people who don't.
I was spanked as a kid, but I never felt that it corrected my behavior. It just made me not get caught when I did it again.
So if you spank or saw someone spank, was it a tap on the bottom? A slap? Bare bottom? Did the kid cry? I don't see how hitting anyone has ever solved anything. So if I want to teach my kid that violence is not the answer... I have definitely grabbed her arm hard to get her attention but no harm and my kid bruises super easy. No bruises.
Spanking is very common within my family. Many of the people I grew up with went on to spank their children, and they aren't quiet about it either. My aunt used to spank us with a wooden paddle. My in-laws spanked my husband quite a bit. My husband's aunt got drunk a few years ago and admitted that she started to space out her visits more with my husband and his siblings when they were children because she couldn't handle watching her sister spank her niece and nephews so hard and not be able to help them.
I try really hard not to spank. I will admit that I've done it a few times. It is something I have to actively work on not doing because it is so ingrained in me. I hate it. I have felt so awful and ashamed the times that I've done it.
It does surprise me. Neither DH or I were spanked as kids and we don't spank or have any friends that do. My SIL/BIL spank and I always felt like they were in the minority, but I guess not.
Post by yellowbrkrd on Nov 25, 2015 19:14:40 GMT -5
This doesn't surprise me. I would say more than half of the people I know with kids spank. I was spanked as a kid, DH was not. We do not plan to spank.
I have no idea if anyone spanks...no one talks about it nor does it in public. I was spanked a fair amount & got the belt. The belt scared me & hurt, I still get a bit anxious when I hear one.
I'm surprised it's so high. I was spanked a handful of times, mostly by my dad, and remember being so humiliated. I only know one person IRL who I suspect spanks, she was giving her baby "pops" on his hand when he reached for anything she didn't want him to have, he's a toddler now but I haven't witnessed any spankings and we don't talk about it. I cannot imagine hitting my son, it makes me feel kind of sick to even think about.
My cousin pinches her grandson whenever he misbehaves in public. Now he pinches other kids. Awesome.
I have spanked my son one time. He ran off in a crowded parking lot. I don't think he even noticed I think he was more upset at how upset I was.
I often " play bongos on his butt" or chase him around and fake spank him lightly when I catch him. It's like silly game where we both laughMore when he was littler. I stopped when he was like " Mommy chase me & smack my butt HARD" I was like OMG Nooooooo....