New relationship?

[spedrunner]

I recently took a huge step with my own growth. I left an abusive marriage 4 years ago. I also have tackled my ED and although I'm not 100% I've learned so much and have grown


I dated someone for a year and got To a point where I just could not do it anymore. I was exhausted. He was great but not for me on many way.s. I stayed in longer than I should and am afraid of doing that again. I felt trapped and smothered

Fast forward to now. I've met someone and we have been dating about 2 months. We are pretty much exclusive although neither of us said it. He's wonderful in many ways yet there are a few things that concern me. I'm giving him time and slowly trusting him but still haven gaurd up.

I'm beginning to feel held back. I want to do things for me. Alone. Or with friends. He respects and understands this but I feel a bit guilty bc most often I'd rather do something else

I can't figure out why I feel this way. I feel cold and numb. I try to communicate and be as nice as possible but find myself a bit angry with myself at times

I do not enjoy watching tv. I would rather blog. Or read. Or do crafts. Alone...,

So I see this is more of a personal thing with muself and growth so I don't want to throw something away that has potential but I also do not want to stay in a relationship that o know is not right.

Just not sure how to determine this for myself!? Time? More communication?

Anyone else struggling with something similar?

[Deleted]

Honestly, it sounds like he's honeymooning and you're already in the married-and-do-separate-things phase.

[Deleted]

It sounds like you just aren't into him and don't want to be in a relationship with. That's totally okay. If you don't enjoy being with someone and have to force yourself to be nice, then don't be with that person. I

[cuddlyevil]

It's ok if you're not into him.

[spedrunner]

the problem is, if eel I am not into ANYONE. I liked the flirting and occasional chats, i am not liking being in a relationship ........with anyone

[Deleted]

Dec 3, 2015 20:11:53 GMT -5 spedrunner said:

the problem is, if eel I am not into ANYONE. I liked the flirting and occasional chats, i am not liking being in a relationship ........with anyone

Then don't be in a relationship? Nothing says you have too. I'm not really all that into being in a relationship so for me it really, really has to be the right person. I've really only enjoyed being in a relationship with 2 people. I recently broke it off with someone who was really nice, but wasn't making the effort to see me. Then I realized I didn't really miss seeing him, and texting and stuff was becoming a chore.

I think some people are wired to find a relationship and other people are wired to find a person. Neither is right or wrong just different. 

[1confused1]

Ditto @pdx18 You don't HAVE to be in a relationship. I dated 2 guys over the last 4 years and have no desire to get into another relationship right now.

Didn't you just relocate recently?

[Linie]

I understand your point of wanting to do things by yourself. I would like to be in a relationship, but it is becoming clear to me that I do not want to live with someone full time. LAT or friends with benefits would be perfect.

Maybe because I was so trapped in my marriage with an abusive husband breathing down my neck all the time?

GL

[somersault72]

I agree with the others that maybe you're just not that into him (or anyone else) and that's perfectly OK. There is nothing wrong with being single!

[Deleted]

Dec 3, 2015 20:11:53 GMT -5 spedrunner said:

the problem is, if eel I am not into ANYONE. I liked the flirting and occasional chats, i am not liking being in a relationship ........with anyone

So then don't be in a relationship. That is perfectly ok.