Friday Flameful Confessions?

[jojoandleo]

I think my best friend's girlfriend is starting to get annoyed by me. And I think it is because of how all my friendships are super close and slightly... over the line? I don't know. Like, it's almost like my BF and I are in a marriage without the sex, sometimes. We complete each others sentences, use the same quotes all the time (Friends, Harry Potter, song lyrics), have a shit ton of inside jokes, and my habits have started rubbing off on her. 

I don't really care.  We will always be friends and if she can't handle it, she can GTFO.  I'm not going to change my friendship to make her more comfortable.  This is totally hypocritical because if MH was like this with one of his female friends, I would be super upset.  My BFF is female, but obviously a lesbian, so MH doesn't care, but the GF does.

[cuddlyevil]

I heard the new coldplay single last night and thought it was Maroon 5.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 4, 2015 12:19:40 GMT -5 lake said:

Dec 4, 2015 10:11:35 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I think my best friend's girlfriend is starting to get annoyed by me. And I think it is because of how all my friendships are super close and slightly... over the line? I don't know. Like, it's almost like my BF and I are in a marriage without the sex, sometimes. We complete each others sentences, use the same quotes all the time (Friends, Harry Potter, song lyrics), have a shit ton of inside jokes, and my habits have started rubbing off on her. 

I don't really care.  We will always be friends and if she can't handle it, she can GTFO.  I'm not going to change my friendship to make her more comfortable.  This is totally hypocritical because if MH was like this with one of his female friends, I would be super upset.  My BFF is female, but obviously a lesbian, so MH doesn't care, but the GF does.

I would question whether you may have displaced emotions here.

If this woman is truly your BFF, why would you want to make waves in their relationship?

Why would BFF's girlfriend need to be the one to "GTFO?"

Were you the one who recently posted drama about your H and his friends not liking you?

I don't want to make waves in their relationship, and I won't intentionally make them.  I'm just not going to change a 12 year friendship when my BFF has no problem with it.  And I don't want her to GTFO, I actually LIKE her.  And I actually hope she isn't annoyed with me.  I have dumped guys in the past for not liking my friendships.  I actually had a guy throw my phone across the room because I was texting one of my male friends (who is gay, not that it matters).  He took issue with how close we are.  There is a big group of us this close.  It's not just me.  My point was, the GF will have to learn to deal with us as we are. 

MHs friends do like me.  He has one girl in a group of friends (a girl who cried when she found out he was married, FYI) who dislikes me.  And has taken to point out what my FB profile pic is and how it's "weird" when a guy who is not MH is in the pic.

But, I also knew this was flameful, hence why I posted it in a flameful.  And if my BFF was all, "Hey, Jojo, this friendship isn't working for me anymore the way it is and we need to change" I would absolutely respect her wishes.  It's not like I am sitting here telling inside jokes while BFF is uncomfy.  It's an unconscious thing.  And we explain them to GF.  BUT, our group is more family.  Always have been.  We are a package deal.  I was there for this BFF when she lost her virginity, when she got married, when she got divorced, when she came out as a lesbian, and when her first GF turned out to be a horrible person.  She has been there for me when I lost my virginity, my first ever break up, when my dad almost died from alcoholism, when I went through my crazy phase, when I got married, and when I got a new job.

And who knows how the GF really feels about me.  She just has been making comments lately about how I "rub off on" BFF and it annoys her.  Which, nothing I can really do about that.  I also understand not everyone understands lifelong friends as close as we are.  TRUST ME.

I am interested in what displaced emotions you mean.  I may be clinging more to my friend in a fear of losing her.  And I can see that and maybe I am unconsciously letting that seep in.  Which is something I should be aware of.

[jojoandleo]

lake-I can see that. But I am still annoyed that she is annoyed. LOL. I'll get over it, though.

[1confused1]

I opened a letter from the tax board that was addressed to my xh. He has never lived here and I didn't check who it was addressed to before opening it. Guess I'm not the only one he owes money to.

[flatlan]

I am irrationally upset that my house has no Christmas lights up outside. Christmas was always a very big deal to stbxh and I. I always did inside the house and he put up all the outside decorations. They were very involved and set to music (but not over the top tacky.) I am so sad that the outside of the house is so bare. I am going to put up a few things tomorrow but it won't be anything like years past. Not sure why but for some reason this makes me really upset.

[glitzyglow]

I met my ex-SIL when she was just 1 year old. When exH I split, she was 11. She's almost 16 now and I randomly dreamed about her the other night, so in boredom tonight I looked her up. You guys, she is so beautiful. I started bawling when I saw her picture. I sincerely hope I never see in her public because I would probably burst into tears. It's crazy to see how this little girl I watched grow up is a full-blown teen. I would look like a crazy person to cry just because I saw her, but I would. It's hard to explain.

[MyName]

Dec 4, 2015 23:35:40 GMT -5 flatlan said:

I am irrationally upset that my house has no Christmas lights up outside. Christmas was always a very big deal to stbxh and I. I always did inside the house and he put up all the outside decorations. They were very involved and set to music (but not over the top tacky.) I am so sad that the outside of the house is so bare. I am going to put up a few things tomorrow but it won't be anything like years past. Not sure why but for some reason this makes me really upset.

Apparently, Christmas decorations are my trigger topic, and I already posted this in someone else's thread, BUT...

I moved out in October 2013, and stayed at my BFF's 1 BR apt through January.  I LOVE Christmas - I always decorated the wknd before Thanksgiving because we traveled and I wanted to come home to festive decorations.  She traveled/worked a lot, had a ton of personal shit going on, and always went home to Spain for Christmas, so she never decorated.  I didn't have my stuff, but I bought a tree top table and some lights at Walgreens, and a couple other small things from a dollar store, and decorated her living room.  It was great, she loved it, and it was so worth it for me to just have some semblance of normalcy.  

Just do whatever you can, and you'll be happy they're up.  It doesn't have to be (and maybe shouldn't be) the same, but it'll be the first step toward a new tradition.  ((hugs))

[MyName]

Dec 4, 2015 23:52:07 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

I met my ex-SIL when she was just 1 year old. When exH I split, she was 11. She's almost 16 now and I randomly dreamed about her the other night, so in boredom tonight I looked her up. You guys, she is so beautiful. I started bawling when I saw her picture. I sincerely hope I never see in her public because I would probably burst into tears. It's crazy to see how this little girl I watched grow up is a full-blown teen. I would look like a crazy person to cry just because I saw her, but I would. It's hard to explain.

Ugh, I can kinda relate to this and I'm sorry.  It's so hard.

I met my ex-SIL when she was 16, and watched her grow into a smart, independent, savvy woman.  She is the only non-crazy one in that family, so we had a special bond and she always came to me for advice.  It KILLS me to not be in touch with her regularly.  When XH and I split, she knew the reasons and was super supportive.  We did the whole - "no matter what, we will always be SISTERS" thing, but in reality, her brother needs her support more than I do so I keep my distance.  

I talked to her on my bday on Sunday, and it made me so sad (and happy, but still).  

[whatnext]

I've decided that men are only good for sex and most of them aren't even even good for that. I prefer to be alone, I like that I own my own properties, that I just moved interstate to a city where I don't know anyone for a great job opportunity that I couldn't have done that in a relationship. I just can't be bothered and in the first time in my life I don't care that I'm alone. But I miss sex....

[madisen]

Dec 5, 2015 6:29:10 GMT -5 whatnext said:

I've decided that men are only good for sex and most of them aren't even even good for that. I prefer to be alone, I like that I own my own properties, that I just moved interstate to a city where I don't know anyone for a great job opportunity that I couldn't have done that in a relationship. I just can't be bothered and in the first time in my life I don't care that I'm alone. But I miss sex....

Not flameful in my opinion, focusing on the independence, preferring to be on your own and making choices for you. Get it!