Hello! Need some advice

[Deleted]

Hi there - long time lurker coming out of the woodwork. I want to stop drinking because of blackouts... I'm sick of forgetting parts of my life and always assuming that I made horrible mistakes while blacked out. I often feel this way after an episode, but then end up drinking again in a few days or weeks, mostly because my friends' entire social lives revolve around drinking. Have any of you had to deal with revamping your entire social life? Have you had success still hanging out with your same friends while they're drinking but abstaining yourself? I guess I'm just feeling a bit hopeless and am hoping you all can offer some advice.

[flex]

Hi and welcome.

Blackouts are indicative of a drinking problem. I've been in recovery from drugs and alcohol for awhile, so being around people drinking is not a deal breaker for me. I have no desire to drink anymore.

Revamping my social life was just one of many changes I had to make, but a good support network is very important if you want to stop drinking. Sounds like you need a new group of friends. My advice, since you asked (lol), is to check out AA meetings. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking, and it sounds like that's what you'd like to do. : )

[Deleted]

I want to say welcome, too! Glad you found this board. I've been in alcohol recovery for a while and can tell you absolutely there is a solution if you want to quit drinking. I'd like to write more, but have to run. I'll get back to you soon. I'm totally grateful that I quit drinking and don't miss the drama and messes I would create, not at all.

[Deleted]

Blackouts are not a part of normal drinking. Have you ever thought of attending an AA meeting or two? That might help you decide if you are an alcoholic. When I first started going to AA, I remember thinking that those people sound a LOT like me. Only you can decide whether or not your drinking is a problem.

Socially, it was difficult being around people drinking, especially people who could just sip one glass of wine. My lifeline was meetings and remembering that I was only giving up my wine for today. Just one day. Fortunately, I wasn't a bar drinker. My life as a pantry drinker was one of isolated drinking. People were shocked when they found out how much I was drinking. I could go out and have a glass of wine or two publicly. It was the drinking at home (before and especially after) that was outrageous.

Try AA. You'll meet a whole lot of great people who would fully understand that hopeless feeling you're experiencing.

[Deleted]

Me too. I need friends that don't drink, or at least don't care if they don't drink. Most of my social stuff has alcohol involved, sadly. I'll need to put some thought into this as well. I also drink alone a lot so I need to come up with other things to do and focus on, as weird as that sounds.

[flex]

What it really comes down to is being aware of your old habits and creating new habits. And to plan ahead. It's important to be self-aware.

[Deleted]

Dec 15, 2015 14:47:25 GMT -5 flex said:

What it really comes down to is being aware of your old habits and creating new habits. And to plan ahead. It's important to be self-aware.

Thanks everyone for your advice. This really resonates with me because I CAN go out and drink just one or two drinks about 90% of time. I think the key is accepting and admitting that I CAN'T go into an event open-endedly telling myself "ok, just don't drink much tonight". The past two nights I've had events and told myself ahead of time exactly how many drinks I would have (one), what it would be, and what I would drink the rest of the night. Two for two so far!

[flex]

You're welcome. However, if you find that you can't seem to keep to limit no matter how hard you try, you may have a drinking problem. Like I said earlier, blackouts are typically indicative of a drinking problem.

[Deleted]

Dec 20, 2015 11:46:06 GMT -5 flex said:

You're welcome. However, if you find that you can't seem to keep to limit no matter how hard you try, you may have a drinking problem. Like I said earlier, blackouts are typically indicative of a drinking problem.

This and "normal" drinkers don't usually have to count their drinks.