My UO is that I don't think we would ever have kids if we couldn't ever leave them with a trusted parent or sitter. The stories of people who don't leave their kids for months or years terrify me. Did those parents always think they would be that way? Or does something snap when you have a baby? I'm almost too afraid to find out.
I did NOT think I would be that way. A theoretical human life in your hands is different than an ACTUAL human life in your hands.
My parents left us alone with maids. That didn't speak the same language as we did. We survived. I think the parents that believe that *they* are the only ones capable of caring for their kids are dumbasses and overrate their abilities and importance.
So far if we are invited somewhere people want us to bring DS. In fact, they typically call and say "I want to see him this weekend can you come over!" None of the friends that invite us anywhere anymore really go to bars or parties or anything that is not kid friendly.
THEN (as I mentioned in my 2nd post) we have the other group of people that just stopped talking to us or inviting us places despite our best efforts.
What would you do (do you do) if you receive an invite that is clearly not kid-friendly?
To be clear of my motive in asking, I have been accused of being the friend who you refer to in the end of your post, but I kind of feel like I can't win either way. I'm trying to see if it's me or if my friend is just being an ass.
Oh, if I would go! I mean I am not saying that I don't WANT to do things kids free just that the occasion doesn't seem to come up. I admit that I struggle a lot with going out at night because DS nurses to sleep and wakes up a lot still, so I just get nervous. I told my friends this (before they moved) and we tended to go to brunch/lunch instead of dinner or to a spa instead of a bar so that we could still get time together and I would be comfortable with it.
Now that DS is older (10 months) and really once he started daycare, I am getting more comfortable with going out at night (although I prefer to do it after he goes to bed). I am pretty sure that I would never turn down an invite from a friend though (assuming they didn't ask me to like sky dive or something).
I like fugly comfortable shoes. I'm tired of killing my feet in the name of fashion. This feeling was confirmed during my NYC trip. It's been three weeks, and my right foot is still in a fair amount of pain from wearing shoes without sufficient support.
What would you do (do you do) if you receive an invite that is clearly not kid-friendly?
To be clear of my motive in asking, I have been accused of being the friend who you refer to in the end of your post, but I kind of feel like I can't win either way. I'm trying to see if it's me or if my friend is just being an ass.
Oh, if I would go! I mean I am not saying that I don't WANT to do things kids free just that the occasion doesn't seem to come up. I admit that I struggle a lot with going out at night because DS nurses to sleep and wakes up a lot still, so I just get nervous. I told my friends this (before they moved) and we tended to go to brunch/lunch instead of dinner or to a spa instead of a bar so that we could still get time together and I would be comfortable with it.
Now that DS is older (10 months) and really once he started daycare, I am getting more comfortable with going out at night (although I prefer to do it after he goes to bed). I am pretty sure that I would never turn down an invite from a friend though (assuming they didn't ask me to like sky dive or something).
I am sorry you are struggling with your friend.
Thanks, I'm sorry you feel abandoned by some of yours.
I feel like I am in the opposite position you described. I don't have kids, so obviously I make plans that aren't necessarily kid friendly. Despite knowing that they aren't kid friendly plans, I still invite my friend, because it seems rude to invite others and not her, just because she has a baby. But then she gets offended or put out that I'm inviting her to something she can't bring the baby to. Would she rather not be invited at all? I assumed that was more offensive.
I mean, c'mon. I'm 31 years old and I don't have kids. No, I'm not planning 4:30 dinners at Friendlys, you know? I'm happy to see the kid, but I'd like to see the parents without baby too.
I'm going to say that judging of moms period is ridiculous.
I cant judge the Mom that calls her kid "Asshole?"
Ha, well sometimes my kid is being an asshole. I love my kid but - over drinks with friends or in bed with my dh at night -- admitting your kid is an assface is a great stress reliever.
My mom called me 'a little shit' most of her life. I felt loved.
I kind of give the side eye to people who party alot even though their past that age frame. Like your in your late 20's get your shit together.
I gotta be a bitch here. Not personal. Promise. I give the side-eye to anyone with this many grammaticals giving the the side-eye to ANYONE in an age-related-whatever. Learn English. Signed,
Kari: with the friends who pulled away, do you think it's because they felt like they had to include your son? I know with our friends, we made a really conscious effort pretty quickly to initiate plans that did not include DD so they knew we would still be up for getting together sans baby.
same here.
My child free friends see DD maybe 2-3x a year. I see these friends at least once a month.
Kari: with the friends who pulled away, do you think it's because they felt like they had to include your son? I know with our friends, we made a really conscious effort pretty quickly to initiate plans that did not include DD so they knew we would still be up for getting together sans baby.
same here.
My child free friends see DD maybe 2-3x a year. I see these friends at least once a month.
My friends who HAVE kids only see DDs once or twice a year. All of my friends are moms, and we get together sans kids most of the time.
I think it's strange that no one has mentioned the irony of ML having a Vegas GTG after they reamed MM for the SAME IDEA a year ago. I hope they all wear lanyards and have a good time.
ML is having a Vegas GTG??
I'm jealous, I think it sounds fun. Vegas with a bunch of girlfriends...yes from me!
Kids get excited about something and breathe in and inhale food. A 4 year old at a daycare here choked on a grape and died. I'm sure the 4 year old knew how to chew also. I cut grapes for my almost 3 year old. That story scared the shit out of me.
I am sure the parents of the dead kid thought he knew how to chew.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Aug 27, 2012 21:13:54 GMT -5
Hanna, I feel like always jump strait to "stop judging!". It's possible that people are just asking about different parenting things without judging. I didn't get any judging vibes, other than about grapes.
I don't cut grapes. My kids do not ever get excited when eating grapes. Lolololol. Maybe when eating cake, they would get excited. Someone once told me I shouldn't let the kids played in the (fully fenced) yard alone bc they might find and choke on an acorn. I about died,
I think oppositional defiance disorder is way over diagnosed when the real problem is poor parenting. It's the new ADHD for medicating your kid instead of raising them
Wait what? This makes my head hurt. After working with children with ODD and other CDs it's really not that simple.
It is defiant, not defiance. And not that simple at all. And devaluing to parents and families who struggle with these illnesses. That said, some parents do suck and make their children's lives hell.
I hate flats. I think they make women's legs look short and fat. They also make feet look fat/round. I don't understand the trend or why people think they look "cute".
In all my years of wearing heels, I have yet to find a pair that's actually comfortable. They all hurt the balls of my feet. Fashion be damned, I'm wearing ballet flats around the office.
People believe in vaccines, not smoking, and using car seats but somehow decide to ignore the also well-documented and known risks of giving kids uncut grapes and hot dogs. This does not compute.
People believe in vaccines, not smoking, and using car seats but somehow decide to ignore the also well-documented and known risks of giving kids uncut grapes and hot dogs. This does not compute.
because grapes and hot dogs aren't staples for us- she has them once in a blue moon- while carseats, smoke and vaccines affect her daily, everyday life. In fact, DD has a hot dog once (ftr, I did cut it up). Grapes - maybe a few times a year. They're expensive here.
I am sort of over traveling for a while. I still want to spend time at the beach or relaxing by a lake but the stress of big sightseeing trips is no longer worth it for me for now. I am sure that is unpopular on this board.
Not unpopular. I want my next vacation to be restful and booze filled. I dream of a tacky AI in the Caribbean for my next big vacation.
I think we all have our "things" to be scared of wrt raising kids. Apparently choking on a grape is Spenjamin's. Latex balloons scare me more. Those stories are terrifying. I'm sure the odds of are really low either way.
People believe in vaccines, not smoking, and using car seats but somehow decide to ignore the also well-documented and known risks of giving kids uncut grapes and hot dogs. This does not compute.
because grapes and hot dogs aren't staples for us- she has them once in a blue moon- while carseats, smoke and vaccines affect her daily, everyday life. In fact, DD has a hot dog once (ftr, I did cut it up). Grapes - maybe a few times a year. They're expensive here.
Such a strange hill to die on.
Working to prevent one of the leading causes of death in under-fives is a cause worth being passionate about.
Wait what? This makes my head hurt. After working with children with ODD and other CDs it's really not that simple.
It is defiant, not defiance. And not that simple at all. And devaluing to parents and families who struggle with these illnesses. That said, some parents do suck and make their children's lives hell.
because grapes and hot dogs aren't staples for us- she has them once in a blue moon- while carseats, smoke and vaccines affect her daily, everyday life. In fact, DD has a hot dog once (ftr, I did cut it up). Grapes - maybe a few times a year. They're expensive here.
Such a strange hill to die on.
Working to prevent one of the leading causes of death in under-fives is a cause worth being passionate about.