Monday Unpopular Opinions

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 17:28:08 GMT -5 barefootcontessa said:

Aug 28, 2012 17:18:40 GMT -5 CallingAllAngels said:

I'm with cosmos. I EBF two kids, and it's not that hard. If you want to go out, you will. If you don't, you won't.

I have EBF four kids now and have had no problems but I know plenty of women who have. Many do not respond to the pump, or their supply is too weak to skip a feeding, or their baby will not take a bottle. There can be lots of issues. To say these women are mommy martyrs because they recognize they need to stay with their baby is just mean and unnecessarily inflammatory.

They are excuses.

A baby will learn how to take a bottle if they are hungry. Millions of babies take a bottle. The only ones who don't are those who aren't exposed to the bottle until they are much older. And if they aren't being introduced to it until they are much older, it means they've never left their mom's side for a substantial period of time. And women can train their breasts to respond to the pump- there are a ton of tricks on kelllymom. And if they truly can't-- then there is always - gasp- formula!

Its fine if you own up to it and say you want to be a slave to your kid for however long you BF. But don't make excuses for it. Just say you want to be attached to your kid.

[Deleted]

Is this what MM Moms is like?

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 17:37:26 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Is this what MM Moms is like?

worse.

[Kore]

Aug 28, 2012 17:37:26 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Is this what MM Moms is like?

Haha

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 17:37:26 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Is this what MM Moms is like?

Yeah I can't even follow who's on what side. All I know is that my friend had a really rough start with BFing.

[ijack]

Aug 28, 2012 17:37:26 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Is this what MM Moms is like?

This is why you hang out on ML isn't it?

[Deleted]

This week, my husband is gone.

I asked friends to let me know if they were available to entertain me.

I accepted offers to drink and to eat.

I rejected an offer to push around a baby at a Farmer's Market, and that person was rather indignant about my rejection.

This is the Farmer's Market.

Which doesn't even make sense because we've carved out a special stroller section for this Farmer's Market.

[ijack]

Aug 28, 2012 18:03:48 GMT -5 @246baje said:

I'm with Miso and I'm a mum. Why can't we have an UO/FFC that doesn't turn into MMMs? It is tiresome.

I agree as well

[barefootcontessa]

Aug 28, 2012 17:36:35 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

Aug 28, 2012 17:28:08 GMT -5 barefootcontessa said:

I have EBF four kids now and have had no problems but I know plenty of women who have. Many do not respond to the pump, or their supply is too weak to skip a feeding, or their baby will not take a bottle. There can be lots of issues. To say these women are mommy martyrs because they recognize they need to stay with their baby is just mean and unnecessarily inflammatory.

They are excuses.

A baby will learn how to take a bottle if they are hungry. Millions of babies take a bottle. The only ones who don't are those who aren't exposed to the bottle until they are much older. And if they aren't being introduced to it until they are much older, it means they've never left their mom's side for a substantial period of time. And women can train their breasts to respond to the pump- there are a ton of tricks on kelllymom. And if they truly can't-- then there is always - gasp- formula!

Its fine if you own up to it and say you want to be a slave to your kid for however long you BF. But don't make excuses for it. Just say you want to be attached to your kid.

You sound so nice and supportive. You should be a lactation consultant. You obviously have so much knowledge and experience to share.

btw, I have no trouble leaving my babies -- however, I can empathize with women who have a hard doing so because they are nursing. I have seen their struggles first-hand.

[starlily]

Aug 28, 2012 17:37:26 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Is this what MM Moms is like?

I told you so!

[Willis Jackson]

Cosmos- why do you care enough to judge these other mothers?

[kadams767]

Aug 28, 2012 17:07:33 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Aug 28, 2012 9:54:37 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

For some, it doesnt seem like a trust thing-- more of a "I'm EBFing but I'm too much of a mommy martyr to use a damn breast pump"

My UO is that judging moms for anything, especially feeding their child, is ridiculous. Did/do you EBF? Then you either 1) know what the issue is with going out while BFing, or 2) have no business judging those of us that do EBF. I can maybe, maybe skip one feeding but my boobs will be huge and painful. So yeah, i opt not to leave DS with someone overnight for the sake of my own personal comfort. That doesn't make me a martyr, it makes me a nursing mom. I'll skip a feeding for a much-needed date night, but not for some random dinner w/ friends who don't understand the discomfort of full breasts. Do you want me to bust out my pump for 20 mins at your dinner party? Or seclude myself for that time instead, and then put my breastmilk in your fridge? Non-nursing moms often have no concept of what nursing entails. It's not so simple as "use a damn breast pump." I would have to lug the pump around, store the milk, etc... it's a huge PITA. I know I chose this feeding method and have to deal with the consequences, but nursing moms don't deserve to be labeled mommy martyrs b/c they decline non-kid friendly invitations.

I am assuming that, based on the dinner party reference, that this gem is at least partially in response to my comments. So, to answer your questions, no, I have never breast-fed. As I said, I don't have kids. However, I am a human being with sense and compassion for my friends. I would have no problem if my girlfriend needed to pump at my house and put breast milk in my fridge. As I said in my post, I would think that being included in gatherings with friends, even if you miss a half hour of the party to pump in private, would be preferable to not being invited at all. And if you really aren't comfortable doing this, just say no thanks and don't come. But don't give me grief because I'm having an adult dinner party and don't get bent if people stop inviting you because you reject every invite. Just the fact that your refer to it as a "random dinner with friends" makes me think you don't value these nights. Which is fine if that is the case, but be honest about it. You're not staying home because you absolutely have to. You're staying home because your priorities are different. That's all.

And just to confirm, in my particular instance, my friend is NOT breast feeding, so this isn't even potentially the issue.

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 18:46:19 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

Cosmos- why do you care enough to judge these other mothers?

I thought you already knew I was a bitch.

Believe me, this doesn't keep me awake at night. It's more that I'm baffled by women like this.

[pugz]

omg no more BF wars guys!!!!

[bunch]

Booooooooo. I want my last 15 mins back.

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 21:07:42 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

There is no discussion, anywhere, more mind numbingly boring than breastfeeding. My God.

:Y:

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 19:18:27 GMT -5 kadams767 said:

Aug 28, 2012 17:07:33 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

I am assuming that, based on the dinner party reference, that this gem is at least partially in response to my comments. So, to answer your questions, no, I have never breast-fed. As I said, I don't have kids. However, I am a human being with sense and compassion for my friends. I would have no problem if my girlfriend needed to pump at my house and put breast milk in my fridge. As I said in my post, I would think that being included in gatherings with friends, even if you miss a half hour of the party to pump in private, would be preferable to not being invited at all. And if you really aren't comfortable doing this, just say no thanks and don't come. But don't give me grief because I'm having an adult dinner party and don't get bent if people stop inviting you because you reject every invite. Just the fact that your refer to it as a "random dinner with friends" makes me think you don't value these nights. Which is fine if that is the case, but be honest about it. You're not staying home because you absolutely have to. You're staying home because your priorities are different. That's all.

And just to confirm, in my particular instance, my friend is NOT breast feeding, so this isn't even potentially the issue.

I thought about not responding since BFing is so boring, apparently I shouldn't have ventured out from the relative safety of MMMs. So I'll keep this short. I agree with you kadams, I do stay home b/c my priorities are different. You sound like a good friend, I wish mine were as nice as you. Nowhere in my post did I give you grief for inviting BFing friends to a dinner party. I don't get bent if people stop inviting me either, as I said I have different priorities and my friends understand that and aren't bothered by it. I do usually decline regular dinner invitations hence the "random dinner with friends" line, but if it was a special occasion like a wedding I would absolutely get a sitter and pump. What I do get bent about is people like cosmos who throw out the mommy martyr label anytime I place my child's needs ahead of my own.

[Kore]

Y'all are presenting a compelling argument for formula feeding.

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 23:15:22 GMT -5 Kore said:

Y'all are presenting a compelling argument for formula feeding.

:Y:

[y4m]

*y4m entered this thread
*y4m exited this thread

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 23:15:22 GMT -5 Kore said:

Y'all are presenting a compelling argument for formula feeding.

seriously, I think I'm going to do both the next time around. Pumping is for the birds.

[h]

I have actually breastfed a couple of kids, and I am bored by this discussion. I can only imagine how uninteresting this is for the non-breeders.

Lest everyone who enters this thread be totally turned off by the idea of breastfeeding, I will say that in my experience, breastfeeding was not at all hard after the first couple weeks with DS1, and it never kept me from attending social engagements. Most of my friends have managed to breastfeed and still have a social life as well, but obviously experiences differ.

[Deleted]

I ff I have gone out with friends 3 times in 9 months. I left my kid overnight at 6 months. I do however enjoy regular pedicures & outlet shopping sans baby. That is all.

[karinothing]

My UO is I think it is odd when people get so touchy about mom related decisions. I mean I love an argument so I often defend my position, but I don't understand getting butt hurt becuase someone doesn't understand/agree with whatever parenting step you take. I think mommy wars suck because they indicate that women have a lack of confidence to just say "who the heck cares what you think, I do what I want"

[bronxgirl]

Aug 29, 2012 11:21:10 GMT -5 karinothing said:

My UO is I think it is odd when people get so touchy about mom related decisions. I mean I love an argument so I often defend my position, but I don't understand getting butt hurt becuase someone doesn't understand/agree with whatever parenting step you take. I think mommy wars suck because they indicate that women have a lack of confidence to just say "who the heck cares what you think, I do what I want"

You hit the nail on the head. I need to learn to stay far away from all these "mommy war" posts b/c they get me all riled up for no productive reason.

[Deleted]

Aug 29, 2012 12:41:51 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Aug 29, 2012 11:21:10 GMT -5 karinothing said:

My UO is I think it is odd when people get so touchy about mom related decisions. I mean I love an argument so I often defend my position, but I don't understand getting butt hurt becuase someone doesn't understand/agree with whatever parenting step you take. I think mommy wars suck because they indicate that women have a lack of confidence to just say "who the heck cares what you think, I do what I want"

You hit the nail on the head. I need to learn to stay far away from all these "mommy war" posts b/c they get me all riled up for no productive reason.

I need to as well.

I really don't mean to come off that judgy and bitchy, but I am seriously just befuddled the way some people raise their kids. That's really just the crux of it. But I don't care what other people do as long as they love and don't abuse their kids.

That being said, I am secure enough in my choices when they are ripped apart by others. I don't care if you think I'm an alcoholic workaholic mother who lets daycare raise her kid- I know my daughter is being raised in a loving house, is spoiled with love by everyone around her, and the "it takes a village" concept applies here.

[HoneySpider]

Aug 29, 2012 15:53:16 GMT -5 suzubell said:

I came back to this thread thinking something juicy happened. Boo.

Same here