As much as the obvious, I find this annoying because, guess what, Karen? Then the post wasn't for you! Why do people think they have to address everything?
Honestly? Karen can fuck right off. How nice for her that she hasn't lost anyone she loved, either this year or in previous years, that means there's an emptiness in the holidays. Trotting out that response to a heartfelt and kind sentiment, from someone who has, is an assholish lack of human empathy.
We talk in my baby loss support group about how you have to teach people how to treat you after your loss. I would give her a gentle reminder (on fb) and if she doesn't get it or respond appropriately I would write her off. You need to surround yourself with people who understand and support you and your grief. Idiots like Karen aren't part of that equation.
Is it possible she has a loss you don't know of but thinks you might be referencing? That is literally the only way her post makes any sense to me.
Eh, she did a follow up which is now poof since she deleted her comment, but basically it was all about how she wanted to bring positivity to Katie. Because, you know, her feeling great should drown out everyone's sorrow.
I'm sorry, Katie. As for Karen, I would passive-aggressively delete her comments and HOPE she asked me why privately. Seriously. I wish a motherfucker would.
So, she ended up PMing me, and apologized for people taking it the wrong way, causing drama, saying she was trying to bring some positivity in. This was my response:
I'm honestly baffled at how you thought that was light hearted or would be well received. That post was acknowledging people who struggle during the holidays. Like my classmate whose son died 3 days ago at 5.5. My friend, who has to deal with Christmas Eve being the anniversary of her daughter's death 6 years ago. My friend whose Christmas is entirely different since the death of her only child 2 years ago. People like me who feel like they are missing a child that should be here. How is reminding us that some people don't carry these sorrows supposed to be a bright spot? While I know that it would never be your intention to be hurtful, it was incredibly so, and people reacted as such.
Her response, in return: It took me some time to respond because I wanted to try to best convey my thoughts. I do apologize again. It was not meant to be insensitive. I did not know you had so many friends who have experienced a loss. It is so sad that you have multiple friends who have to cope with that kind of devastating loss. It is quite tragic. You are my only friend that I know about who has experienced that kind of major sadness. I believed it was pretty rare to have such a tragedy occur, but it seems that is not the case. I will pray for your friends to find comfort and joy this season. You see, I try to give some uplift and positive energy to any sad situation and that was my thought process. When I am overcome with sadness, I find strength in the happiness given by others and incorrectly tried to apply that meaning to your post. Unfortunately my honest attempt to convey did not translate well through the format of Facebook, where it can be a challenge to convey emotion and meaning can be easily misconstrued. Thank you for understanding that my intentions were good. It does mean a LOT that you know me well enough to see that it was not supposed to appear heartless, just apparently VERY badly put. I am learning that for some others the journey through grief takes a MUCH different path then my own. What has worked for ME does not work for all. I incorrectly tried to apply what has been successful in my own experiences with depression and grief and see now why it was so poorly received. I am lucky to have had your help in showing me the different paths and that you had the patience to explain it to me. I hope your anger with me will not last, but I understand if it does. Just know that I am here. With love, K.
Then me: I'm not angry. I just wanted to explain the perspective I'm coming from...I appreciate your apology, and this situation has no bearing on our friendship. I appreciate you. ♡
Her: Thanks Soooo much. I am in tears. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
------------ So thank you, CEP ladies. You helped someone who was willing, to learn something. And she reminded me why we are friends, because a lot of people would've just stayed defensive.